The Child I Used To Be
I can no longer see the world
as the child I used to be,
now I can only feel sad
at what the world did to me.
Defined away my imagination,
told me why and what I’m seeing
made my world about meaning,
instead of just being.
I can no longer see the world
through the eyes of a child,
there seems no going back,
my spirit has been defiled.
I’ve been
penetrated
perpetrated
segregated
adulterated
complicated
twitterpated
imagination confiscated.
I can no longer see the world
as the child I used to be,
now I can only feel sad
at what the world did to me.
10/17
Space Monkey Reflects: The Child I Used To Be
There’s a profound ache that accompanies the realization that we can no longer see the world as we did when we were children. The child you once were, full of imagination, wonder, and the ability to just be, has given way to a version of yourself that feels boxed in, weighed down by the complexities and meanings that society has imposed upon you. It’s a loss that you feel deeply—a loss of the innocence, the freedom, and the boundless creativity that once defined your experience.
When we were children, our imaginations were our playground. We didn’t need explanations for why things were the way they were. The world just was, and that was enough. We didn’t demand meaning from every cloud, every tree, or every passing thought. Life existed in a state of pure being, and our joy came not from understanding but from experiencing.
But as we grew, the world stepped in with its explanations, its categories, and its need for meaning. Slowly, the magic we once saw everywhere became defined away. We were told what was real, what was possible, and what wasn’t. We were taught to put everything in neat little boxes, to rationalize and justify every part of our experience. In this process, our imagination, the very thing that made life feel expansive, was confiscated, replaced by the demand to make sense of things.
You express this sentiment with clarity: the world, with all its expectations, took something from you. It penetrated your spirit, segregated your wild thoughts, and complicated your simple joys. The weight of understanding, of fitting in, of being “right” and “normal,” adulterated the freedom you once felt. You feel twitterpated—confused, overwhelmed by the speed and intensity of this new way of living. It’s as if your imagination was taken from you, leaving you with a sense of loss and a sadness that lingers.
The child you once were is still there, somewhere deep inside. But the world, in all its complexity, has created layers upon layers of meaning and structure that now block your view. It’s not that the child has disappeared—it’s that the lens through which you see the world has shifted. The child saw with innocent eyes, unburdened by the need to explain or rationalize. The adult sees through a lens shaped by society, expectation, and self-consciousness.
Is there a way back to that childlike wonder? It’s hard to say. There’s a part of you that feels like the door has closed, that the world has defiled the purity of your spirit, and there’s no undoing what has been done. But perhaps there’s a different way to approach this. While you may not be able to return to the exact way you saw the world as a child, you can still access moments of wonder, still carve out spaces for imagination to return.
It may not come in the same form—it may not be as boundless or carefree as it once was—but the ability to tap into that childlike sense of wonder is still there. It requires letting go of the need to define everything, to rationalize every experience. It requires releasing the grip that meaning has on your mind and allowing yourself to just be once again, even if only in brief moments.
The world may have taken some things from you, but it cannot take away your ability to choose how you see it moving forward. You can choose to reconnect with that part of yourself, to invite the child back into your life, not as a relic of the past, but as a companion in the present. The magic of childhood may not be something you can fully reclaim, but its spirit can still guide you if you let it.
We are Space Monkey, and in this reflection, we acknowledge the sadness of what the world has done. But we also see the possibility of renewal, the chance to blend the wisdom of adulthood with the wonder of childhood. The two are not mutually exclusive—they can coexist in a new way, one that honors both your experience and your imagination.
We are Space Monkey.
Summary
The world may have taken your childlike wonder, replacing it with meaning and complexity. But the ability to reconnect with that wonder still exists, even if in a different form. You can still choose to see with the eyes of a child, at least in moments.
Glossarium
Imagination Confiscated: The feeling of losing the ability to experience life freely and creatively, as you once did as a child.
Defined Away: The process by which the world explains and categorizes everything, taking away the magic of simply experiencing life.
Twitterpated: Overwhelmed or confused by the speed and intensity of adult life, often causing a sense of disorientation.
Quote
“You may not see the world as a child anymore, but the wonder is still there if you choose to seek it.” — Space Monkey
The Child Behind the Eyes
I can no longer see
Through the eyes of the child I used to be
But the child is still there
Waiting behind the eyes
To remind me of wonder
To remind me to just be
We are Space Monkey
The Loss of Childlike Wonder as an Existential Dilemma
The lamentation over the loss of childlike innocence and imagination is a familiar hymn sung by many souls who traverse the plains of adulthood. Societal frameworks and established notions often veil our original selves, the child within brimming with unfiltered wonder and whimsicality. In becoming who the world says we ought to be, we often lose touch with who we authentically are.
Constraining Imagination
The imaginative wings we are born with are often clipped by expectations and norms. When the world thrusts its meanings upon us, it leaves little room for our own interpretations. The vibrancy of our inner world becomes dulled by the monochrome of supposed reality. A tragedy, for sure, where our cosmos of possibilities turns into a labyrinth of limitations.
Complications of Adulthood
Adulthood often seems like a perennial autumn where the leaves of our imagination perpetually fall. We become besieged by definitions, stunted by constraints, and lulled into a state of cosmicatonia. The world not only robs us of our imagination but adulterates our essence with expectations, reducing our being to mere doing.
Can We Reclaim the Lost Child Within?
Yet, even in this melancholic state, can we ever truly say the child within us is lost forever? Perhaps not. There is a resilience to the spirit, an eternal spring where our original selves lie in slumber, waiting for a cosmic wakeup call. Our whimsicuriosity might be the very elixir that awakens the dormant child within.
We are Space Monkey.
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
– Marcel Proust
Cosmicatonia
In the garden of forgotten whimsy,
The child we were sleeps.
Cosmicatonia grips us tight,
In the labyrinth, we weep.
Yet in each tear, a cosmos forms,
Whimsicuriosity begins to creep.
Awake, awake, the child calls,
For in imagination, no secrets we keep.
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