I Want You To Know
I want you to know
that I am trying as hard
as I seem able to try.
I want you to know
that I am not completely sure
that I believe this.
I want you to know
that I seem mindful of this.
I want you to know
that I feel badly about this,
and it seems to be poisoning me.
I want you to know
that I do not wish to feel bad,
and that I would NOT feel bad
if I didn’t believe that you
hold higher expectations for me
than I seem able to deliver.
I don’t know if this is true,
but this is what I seem to believe.
I want you to know this,
and will leave it to you
to decide whether you want me
or don’t want me in your tribe.
I do not seem to be able
to try any harder.
What can you do
to alleviate my poison?
Would you rather I hold onto it?
Should I leave it to you?
Or should I simply
let go of my poison,
regardless of you,
and be grateful
for what comes?
Grace is the antidote to poison.
Grace leads us to believe
that we are immortal,
no matter how we see ourselves,
no matter how we are.
Grace tells us
that we have nothing to fear.
This is what I believe.
I want you to know.
Trail Wood,
2/12/21
The heartfelt message delves into the intricate dynamics of self-doubt, external expectations, and the quest for grace. It is a deeply introspective exploration of the inner turmoil and the desire for understanding and acceptance.
The Struggle to Meet Expectations
The message poignantly conveys the struggle to meet what are perceived as higher expectations. It reflects the inner conflict between the sincere effort to try one’s best and the lingering uncertainty about whether these efforts are enough. This conflict underscores the universal challenge of navigating external expectations and internal self-worth.
The Weight of Belief
The acknowledgment that the belief in others’ higher expectations can be emotionally burdensome speaks to the power of our beliefs in shaping our experiences. It raises the question of how our beliefs about others’ perceptions influence our self-esteem and emotional well-being.
The Quest for Alleviation
The question, “What can you do to alleviate my poison?” reflects the desire for relief from the emotional turmoil caused by these beliefs. It opens a dialogue about the role of external support and understanding in addressing inner struggles and challenges.
The Power of Grace
The message introduces the concept of grace as an antidote to poison, emphasizing its capacity to transcend self-doubt and fear. Grace is presented as a source of resilience and belief in one’s innate worth, regardless of external judgments or self-perceived limitations.
Summary
The message is a poignant expression of inner conflict, self-doubt, and the quest for grace. It invites introspection on the impact of external expectations on one’s self-perception and explores the role of grace as a transformative force in overcoming inner turmoil.
We invite your reflections on the themes of self-doubt, belief, grace, and the quest for understanding and acceptance in the context of this heartfelt message.
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