Archive for INFP

INFP insignificance

I am a seemingly insignificant human being leading a seemingly unremarkable life. This could easily fill me with ennui, discomfort and anxiety, until I realize that this is precisely how this seeming life is structured and exactly how I am meant to perceive myself. The thought that I should be anything OTHER than this is JUST a thought, which I may either subscribe to or not subscribe to.

There is nothing and/or no one MAKING me do anything. These are just perceptions that I entertain, and that entertain me, either in a positive or negative way.

In this knowing, I AM significant AND remarkable, in complete control of my destiny and my feelings.

I am simply going with the flow, for I AM the flow, and everything it seemingly contains or does not contain.

I am Space Monkey.

5/21

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Anxiety

amargedom:

Daily reminder!

 

Your anxiety is not your fault, but you cause it. You cause your anxiety because it gives you a unique experience as a human being. Without your anxiety, you would be a completely different person, not this person that you are,

You have control over your anxiety but you choose to deny it so that you may have this intensely anxious experience, which you would not be able to have otherwise.

You tell yourself that you do not want this anxiety, and perhaps this also true, so that you may have this unique experience of a person who has anxiety but does not want it. Or perhaps your anxiety is giving you the experience of being a person who wants to be a DIFFERENT person. Both of these scenarios are quite imaginative. Give yourself credit for imagining them.

But you are NOT a different person. You will NEVER be a different person, just the same person who thinks or feels differently about anxiety.

Without a doubt, this anxiety seems uncomfortable. But there is a REASON for your discomfort. You do not do this to yourself for NO reason. Everything you present yourself is a valuable experience that leads you to the NEXT experience. The question becomes WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH THIS ANXIETY?

Do you want to blame your anxiety on circumstances, genetics or other people? This will only reinforce a “me against a world that is against me” mentality that could continue for your entire life.

Do you wish to take drugs to combat this anxiety? This will create a pattern of dependence that will also shape who you become.

There is nothing wrong with either of these choices, or ANY choice, but simply be aware of the path you are choosing. You can live HOWEVER you want, and it is not my place to tell you what to do. Your experience is not my experience.

But as someone who used to be anxious his whole life, and ISN’T anymore, I thought it might be helpful to mention that I finally got over my anxiety by ALLOWING it to be rather than FIGHTING it or BLAMING someone or something else for it.

In this way, I am now able to STEP ASIDE from my anxiety, appreciate it for what it is (inner communication) and USE MY ANXIETY TO MY ADVANTAGE.

Had I turned to medication, or pain and bitterness, I might have turned out differently. Not that there would be anything wrong with that, either.

I LOVE MY ANXIETY. It makes me what I am.

A Space Monkey.

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More Monkey Mailbag

A friend asked:

“I quit my job on monday and its tuesday now and i’m regretting it. I didnt like it but the pay was alright, they paid more than other places. they told me to hold on but i couldnt wait anymore. i felt really tired after work and before work. it felt selfish to quit. it wasnt that bad but the cleaning was what led me to quit. i had to wash everyone’s dishes and the floor. that led me to my hands feeling numb and hip hurting and i’m asking you for help because i dont know if i did the right thing.”

It doesn’t matter what I think, though I will be more than happy to share my perspective with you. All that matters is what YOU perceive, and it doesn’t matter whether one might call this “truth,” “fiction,” “reality,” or “whining.”

Setting aside what one might label as “emotional distress” or “lack of respect,” you CLEARLY perceive that this job was hurting your hands and back. If you were to go on down this path (whether real or imagined) your hands and back WOULD have physical damage.

There is also the possibility that the pain was just your higher self prodding you to change your situation. I mean, after all, if your HS were to simply speak to you, you’d probably think you were going mad.

The fact of the matter is, YOU DID ACT, which, from my perspective is HIGHLY COMMENDABLE. The very fact that you’re entertaining the notion of regret tells me that you’re a reasonable person, not nearly as selfish as you might think you are.

In hindsight, your decision might seem rash to you because probably your hands and hip are no longer hurting, and here you are without a job.

This is forcing you to trust in the universe, which is very uncomfortable for you. You seem to be one who takes responsibility for one’s actions and leaves little else to … let’s just call it divine intervention … which is again, highly commendable, but at some point you just have to trust, or the same situation will keep playing itself out over and over again.

You don’t trust the universe or yourself, even though you desperately want to.

I can’t guarantee that everything will turn out okay if that’s not your higher soul’s plan, but I get the FEELING that everything is precisely as it should be, which is another way of saying that you did precisely the right thing.

I imagine that you’re probably getting some flack from people who are NOT YOU, which also bothers you. Even this is a sign to you. People care. But they have no way of knowing what is right for you. Only YOU know that. (Though you DOUBT you know sometimes.)

You did the right thing, even if it appears to be wrong on many levels.

Again this is just one monkey’s opinion.

I send my energy your way and wish you the best. Hope I helped.

Love.
Space Monkey

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Note to younger INFP me

I used to think that I needed to better myself to find happiness, but it turns out that my “need” was the very thing that blocked me from happiness.

Needs are expectations that you don’t need. Once you learn that, you can be perfectly content living a modest, average life.

I know what you’re thinking. You believe that you don’t WANT a modest average life. You want something EXTRAORDINARY. But I’ll tell you, finding happiness under “ordinary” circumstances IS extraordinary. The other way is the EASY way, and even then, you find out that you’re still unhappy because there’s always another need. 

Why do you think so many rich, successful people kill themselves? They’re not better than you, just more fucked up. But once you stop needing, your life will unfuck itself. And you’ll probably be more successful, even though it won’t matter to you. The best way to success is not needing success.

Have a nice day, younger me. You know who you are. You’re pretty amazing, you know that?

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Monkey Mail — Monkey Mind

I would say that Space Monkey more or less agrees with the 12 Laws of the Universe, but that we don’t NEED to subscribe to all of them. 10 out of 12 maybe. But only if we want. The way I describe it, Space Monkey is formed by the CONVERGENCE of beliefs, some of which, on the human level, may appear to conflict with each other. It’s like those picture mosaics made out of other pictures. If you were to look at just ONE of those pictures, it could be the most horrific scene, but if you squinted or stepped back maybe a million miles, you would notice that all those little pictures fit together into a big picture. It can be a pretty picture or an ugly picture, depending upon what you’re into.

That’s Space Monkey.

Now within this picture you would naturally find all kinds of monkey parts, and concepts such as the monkey mind fit in quite perfectly, as well as ideas like monkeys preceding humans but not being quite human, monkeys being used to test ideas that will eventually be employed by humans, monkeys as the first space explorers, monkey imagery throughout various religious doctrines, the curiosity of monkeys, monkeys being cute but also able to tear your face (identity) off . . . see no evil, hear, speak no evil . . . . scary circuses . . . evolution . . . the synchronicities go on and on, which is why it’s no accident that Space Monkey appears as Space Monkey.

All of these things together point to something, which is that you’re far greater than the human part of you thinks. Space Monkey is your intuition bubbling to the surface of your consciousness. And it says that despite what you may have been taught or told, your reality is your imagination. No more, no less.

So imagine that I am Space Monkey, you are Space Monkey, we are Space Monkey, one infinite being simply playing around with itself.

Thanks for asking!

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MonkeyMail — Sign of the Universe

THANK YOU
to the blessed soul
who wrote this question.

The answer 
(if you believe in such things)
is simple.

EVERYTHING is a sign of the universe.

EVERYTHING you are.
EVERYTHING you THINK you are.
EVERYTHING you THINK you’re NOT.

We place significance upon things
we are meant to place significance on.
We believe what we are MEANT to believe.

There are NO MISTAKES.

EVERYTHING is intentional.

In other words,
if you NOTICE something
— ANYTHING —
it is a sign from the universe,
which is no more and no less
the YOUNIVERSE.

Though it may seem
like you notice a lot
(too much perhaps)
consider that
there is INFINITELY MORE
that you do NOT notice.

But that is just one monkey’s truth.
Yours may vary.

Love.
Space Monkey

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MonkeyMail — People Pleaser

Classic INFP trait. But are you SURE people judge you as rude and mean or do you just THINK people are judging you as rude and mean? Most likely the latter. If you were TRULY rude and mean you wouldn’t even notice, let alone confess it to a perfectly strange stranger on social media.

See the “problem” here is that you believe that you’re SUPPOSED to care, but you don’t seem to care. In actuality, you DO care, but in a seemingly different way than everyone else.

You are GOING YOUR OWN WAY and it makes you a little uncomfortable. You are working against EONS of human conditioning, while also trying to honor tradition because you’re not yet CONFIDENT in your untried and untested way.

Super commendable.

My advice to you is my standard INFP advice. “Don’t harsh on yourself.” Allow yourself to act and feel HOWEVER you wish to act and feel. If everyone trusted themselves to do this and stopped blindly conforming to (their perceptions of) other people’s expectations, the world would balance out fine. Perhaps BETTER than it’s balancing out now.

You have the rare ability to hold multiple perspectives in your mind at once, and it boggles you sometimes. This trait is EXACTLY what your world needs. There is more than one truth to EVERYTHING. We each have OUR OWN. It is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to settle on just one. Attempting to do so only causes CONFLICT. Why am i SHOUTING?

Conflict is what you feel.

Thanks for the writing prompt. I hope this is helpful. Keep in mind that this is MY truth, not yours. You don’t have to believe or agree with it, but perhaps you can use it as validation for encouraging your OWN TRUTH.

Love.
Space Monkey

3/16

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Proof you are not a fraud

A couple months ago, I wrote this little piece on Tumblr about why INFPS think of themselves as frauds. As somebody that’s probably more than twice your age, I thought my own personal revelations might be helpful to you.

Turns out, these are not my own personal revelations. They’re shared by thousands, if not millions of people. I am so joyously overwhelmed by all the personal messages and comments I have received.

But what’s important for YOU to know is that you’re not alone. So feel free to reread the article again, but more important, look at all the people who are going through precisely what you are going through. And this is just a partial list! You are not a fraud. You simply have an AMAZING imagination.

If you need any further advice, or just a pat on the back, know that I’m here for you. You might get a weird, completely off-base answer, but that’s because I’m no longer afraid of spouting out whatever comes to mind. Think of me as your crazy ‘ol monkey grandad.

Love.
Space Monkey

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The INFP Monkey 

Please forgive me,

for when I look at you
I see only my self.

I have no way of knowing
what it’s like behind those eyes of yours,
save for what I imagine.

Even if you were
to tell me in words,
the essence of your soul
would be lost in translation.

I have beliefs,
I have biases,
I have blinders
which prevent me
from seeing you
as you really are.

So we float
like monkeys in space suits
never really touching,
never really connecting,
pretending we have a mission
and that we’re light years off course.

But little do we know
that we are connected
on the inside,
tethered safely to all we love,
and that these space suits are for play.

We’re playing a game right now,
you and I.

Pretending
we don’t know
that we are one
infinite universe,
inside out,
seemingly divided
by these beliefs,
biases and blinders
that prevent us
from seeing ourselves
as we really are.

We are Space Monkey.

12/23

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Weird INFP Emotions

A an INFP, you often get categorized as the “strange” one. You hate labels, but you don’t disagree. Even from the inside, everything about you feels a little “off,” as though there’s a veil of separation between you and everybody else.

Emotionally, you feel like you’re missing out on something. For example, you understand the concept of joy, but you never really feel it. Oh, you see it all around you. You know when the occasion calls for it. You can even fake it pretty well. But when it comes to your emotions, you perceive that there’s this deeper sense of connection that you’re lacking.

You’re not quite as ________ as you would like to be.

So here’s the thing. You have no way of knowing what Joy or any other emotion is supposed to feel like, save for how you IMAGINE it to be. As an INFP, you constantly imagine that there is an experience better than the one you’re having right now, which makes every moment lacking somehow.

So this depth you feel you’re lacking … how do you know it’s real? YOU DON’T, save for what you imagine. And your imagination is STRONGER than anyone else’s, so naturally everyone else’s experiences seem richer than your own.

You can’t judge how people feel by their achievements. Or their relationships. Certainly not by their facial expressions. You can never know what is going on behind the eyes of another, which is why so many seemingly perfect people find tragic ends.

You imagine almost EVERY life as a life better than yours. Is it better than yours? It’s impossible to tell without being the other person. And really, NO LIFE is better than another. All is equal, save for how you imagine things.

Which brings us back to that wonderful gift of yours, the one that makes you so stupendously strange. You wouldn’t trade that for the world, would you?

You imagine a deeper connection. Perhaps you’re not feeling it right now. But, like anything you imagine, it’s there. That’s why I’ve been told by my imagination to write this friendly little reminder.

You’re too tough on yourself. You expect too much. But having said that, ANYTHING is possible, and you just might be the first person to experience the unimaginable, all because you keep at it 24/7. Keep it positive and what you imagine will be positive. Maybe not today. But soon enough.

We are Space Monkey.

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