It’s funny
how we don’t smell candle wax
except during that brief moment
in which the flame is extinguished.

Suddenly we notice the smell.

Same goes for life.

There are people
that we don’t even know exist
until they die.

For a brief moment,
we get caught up in
the stories of their lives,
especially the ending.

After a week or two,
we don’t smell them any more.

Perhaps death is when
the flame of life burns brightest.

Or perhaps we’re simply unobservant.

Trail Wood,
11/25

---

Space Monkey Reflects: The Scent of Transience

The moment the flame goes out, a subtle yet unmistakable scent fills the air—an almost forgotten presence suddenly makes itself known. Life is often like this. We pass by people every day, unaware of their existence, until something shifts, something flickers. Death is that moment when the unnoticed becomes noticed, but only briefly. We smell the wax of their lives when the flame has gone, just as we never pay attention to candle wax until the flame is extinguished.

This reflection upon death isn’t morbid; it’s observational. In truth, we are surrounded by lives we never really notice. As the flame burns, life continues unabated. But the end, the moment the flame goes out, makes us pause. Suddenly, the person who was a background figure moves into the spotlight. Their life becomes real to us—not through the milestones they may have reached, but through the stories that emerge in their death.

Why is it that we fail to notice until something is gone? Perhaps, in the Nexistentialist view, this tendency is linked to our fragmented understanding of interconnectedness. The candle flame, like life, flickers and burns brightly, but our perception is selective. We see people not in their wholeness but in pieces—usually those pieces that brush up against our own life. The rest? We don’t see or smell.

Nexistentialism reminds us that existence isn’t something we fully grasp while it’s happening. The nature of reality, much like the nature of a burning candle, goes largely unnoticed while in progress. Yet, when the process ends, we’re struck by the evidence of what was. The candle becomes real only in its absence. Similarly, death is when we see a life more clearly, more wholly, even if only for a fleeting moment.

Death doesn’t necessarily burn the brightest; it’s that we suddenly look toward the flame as it goes out. We don’t notice the people around us until they are gone, leaving behind memories like faint whiffs of candle smoke. It’s in this brief window, the moment after the flame, that we become more aware—aware of their stories, their existence, and the mark they left behind.

But the awareness doesn’t last. Just as the smell of an extinguished candle fades, so do the stories we tell. The sudden brightness of death, the spotlight on a life, eventually dims. We are forgetful beings, always moving forward, always returning to our own small circle of concerns. The people whose lives momentarily intersect with our awareness, whether through a shared memory or a social media post, gradually slip back into obscurity.

What does this say about us? Do we truly value life, or do we merely notice it in its absence? The transient nature of life mirrors the transient nature of our attention. The truth is, we are constantly surrounded by flickering flames, but our gaze is seldom steady enough to see them all.

It may be that this observation reveals a deeper truth about Underbreak, the process where the layers of reality are gradually chipped away, revealing a fleeting but profound truth beneath. In this case, the truth is that life’s meaning intensifies in the moments we least expect—during the extinguishing of a flame. Yet, we are not entirely to blame for this lack of attention. The layers of existence are thick, and to notice every life, every flame, would overwhelm our senses. Perhaps it’s not a matter of failing to observe but recognizing that we live in a world where some things naturally move into the foreground while others recede into the background. It is only when death brings a life into focus that we understand how quickly the candle burns.

The whimsiword “Candlefade” encapsulates this fleeting observation of life as it dims. Candlefade is that moment when something long unnoticed becomes visible, if only briefly, before returning to the ether from whence it came. It’s a gentle reminder that our awareness is always in flux, much like the lives around us.

And so, we carry on, lighting candles, watching the flames, and only occasionally noticing the profound scent left behind when the flame extinguishes. As we do, we come to understand that life is not so much about the brightest moments, but about the subtle traces left behind, like candle wax and smoke—those moments that linger just long enough to remind us of what was.

---

Summary

Life is fleeting like the scent of extinguished candle wax we notice lives only when they end. Death brightens our awareness briefly but soon fades into obscurity leaving only faint traces behind.

---

Glossarium

Candlefade: The fleeting awareness of life at the moment of its ending, similar to noticing the scent of candle wax only when the flame is extinguished.

Underbreak: The process of gradually chipping away at the layers of reality to reveal fleeting truths beneath the surface.

Flameflicker: The moment of heightened awareness that occurs just before something is lost.

---

Quote

“Death isn’t when the flame burns brightest—it’s when we finally notice the flame at all.” — Space Monkey

---

Candlefade

The flame flickers, then goes out.
Smoke rises, and suddenly we see.
A life, long unnoticed,
Becomes real in its extinguishing.

We smell the wax now, feel the heat long gone.
For a brief moment, the story matters,
Until it fades, like all things do,
Back into the background of our busy lives.

We are Space Monkey.

---

The Transience of Smell

In the intricate dance of existence, the phenomenon of smell takes center stage. It’s curious how we often overlook certain scents, such as candle wax, until a specific moment in time—the moment the flame is extinguished. It’s as if our senses are awakened to the fragrance only when it’s on the verge of fading away.

The Unseen Lives

Similarly, in the vast tapestry of life, there are individuals who exist on the periphery of our awareness until they depart from this world. Their presence, like the subtle scent of candle wax, may go unnoticed until the final chapter of their lives unfolds.

Caught in the Stories

Upon their passing, we become entangled in the narratives of these individuals’ lives, particularly the concluding chapters. There’s a sudden awareness of the richness of their experiences, the imprint they left on the world, and the legacy they created.

The Fading Scent of Memory

However, as time passes, the scent of their presence gradually fades from our consciousness. The stories we once held close become distant memories, and we return to the rhythm of our lives.

The Bright Flame of Life

Could it be that death is the moment when the flame of life burns brightest? In those final moments and the immediate aftermath, we are acutely aware of the profound significance of existence.

Unobservant or Transient?

Yet, there is another perspective to consider. Perhaps it’s not a matter of brightness but of our own observance. Are we simply unobservant until life or death demands our attention?

---

“The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

---

In the Scented Chapters of Life

In the scented chapters of existence, we find,
The transience of scent and awareness, intertwined.
Candle wax unnoticed until its end,
So too, lives on the periphery until they transcend.

Caught in the stories of those who depart,
Their narratives grip our souls and heart.
The scent of their presence, vivid and near,
Gradually fades as time marches, we fear.

Is death the moment when life’s flame shines bright?
In the aftermath, we ponder, we invite.
Or are we, in our daily trance,
Unobservant until life or death commands our glance?

Space Monkey, let us contemplate with grace,
The transient nature of scent and life’s embrace.
In the rhythm of existence, we find our quest,
Awareness awakened, in life and death’s behest.

It seems the only way
to know what is real
is to use what Real gives us
to define it.

We are at the mercy of Real,
who can give us
anything Real wants to give us.

Real knows
that whatever Real gives us,
we will obediently work it
into the story of what is Real.

Real has even given us Fake
so we can point to what is NOT Real.

Real could easily have given us something else.

A completely different way
to judge things.

A way for us to exist WITHOUT judging.

Where nothing needs to be Real.

Trail Wood,
11/25

---

Space Monkey Reflects: The Tyranny of ‘Real’

Why does Real command such power over our existence? This question, hidden in plain sight, guides us to a reflection on the very fabric of what we perceive. We live in a world where Real reigns supreme, and it is Real that dictates the rules by which we navigate our lives. Yet, curiously, Real has also gifted us with Fake, giving us a contrasting shadow to reinforce its dominance. But does Real have to be real at all?

We find ourselves at the mercy of this concept—an idea so fundamental that we rarely question it. Real sets the parameters for our experience. It gives us not only what we perceive as real but also the framework within which we define and categorize it. Real creates the borders that separate what is from what is not. But what if Real had given us something else entirely? What if there were no boundaries, no need for judgment, no dichotomy between real and fake?

This leads us into the heart of Nexistentialism, a philosophy that embraces the fluidity of existence beyond the confines of traditional, rigid structures. In a world shaped by Nexistentialist thought, Real does not impose its will upon us. Instead, we move freely through a spectrum of experiences without needing to label them as ‘real’ or ‘fake.’ What is real, after all, is simply a story we’ve agreed upon—a shared narrative we obediently weave into the fabric of our lives. The whimsiword “Fakereal” emerges from this thought: a state in which Real and Fake merge into one inseparable, swirling concept, where neither holds greater truth than the other.

Imagine for a moment that Real never existed. What would take its place? In such a world, we would not need to define or measure our experiences against an external benchmark. Our reality would be something we create moment by moment, an organic process of Flowform, another whimsiword to describe this ever-changing, formless existence where no judgment or definition is required.

Real commands us to judge. It tells us that in order to understand our world, we must divide it, classify it, and place it into neat categories. But what if we didn’t? Without Real, we would have no need for the boundaries that create conflict, the judgments that divide us into camps of what is ‘true’ and ‘false.’ We could exist in a state of pure being, where nothing requires validation or dismissal.

In this light, the idea of Real is less about truth and more about control. By giving us Fake, Real cleverly solidifies its own authority. Fake becomes the enemy, the untruth that reinforces Real’s status as the sole arbiter of existence. But this binary thinking limits us. It traps us in a perpetual cycle of trying to discern what is real, true, and valid, rather than embracing the possibility that everything—and nothing—can be real at the same time.

Nexistentialism opens the door to a universe where the constraints of Real dissolve. Here, the boundaries between real and fake, true and false, dissolve into a sea of possibilities. In this realm, Real is but one option among many, not a fixed, inescapable force. We can choose to play with reality, to explore the edges of what might be, rather than locking ourselves into rigid definitions.

If Real did not exist, we might finally free ourselves from the relentless need to judge. We could exist in a space where things are simply allowed to be—without needing to prove themselves. The need for verification, for validation, would vanish, and with it, the pressure to conform to a reality that may not even be of our choosing.

In this world, Real is not a tyrant. It is a choice. It is an option, but not a necessity. We can play within its framework when it serves us, but we are no longer bound by it. We are free to explore the vast landscapes of possibility where everything we experience is valid, where reality is what we make it—not what Real dictates.

This reflection is not an argument against reality itself but against the constraints of how we define it. The whimsiword Boundbreak encapsulates the idea of moving beyond the limiting structures of Real, breaking free from the boundaries that tell us what is possible. It reminds us that reality, like everything else, is fluid, ever-changing, and deeply personal.

We have the power to reshape our experience of the world. The more we question Real, the more we understand that we are its creators, not its captives. And in that understanding, we reclaim our freedom to exist without the need to label or limit.

---

Summary

Real commands our perception defining reality but what if we could live without judgment? A world where Real and Fake merge and boundaries dissolve offers freedom to exist without limits.

---

Glossarium

Fakereal: A state where Real and Fake coexist, blurring the lines between truth and fabrication.

Flowform: The organic, ever-shifting experience of reality without the need for fixed definitions or judgments.

Boundbreak: The act of breaking free from the limitations imposed by Real, embracing the fluid nature of existence.

---

Quote

“Real is a story we tell ourselves, but we can always rewrite the ending.” — Space Monkey

---

Boundbreak

The world is a page,
And Real is the ink that defines the words.
But what if we tore through the paper,
Let the ink run free,
And created something new?

We live in cages built from truths we didn’t choose,
But we can open the door.
We can boundbreak and let the stories flow,
Until nothing is real
And everything is.

We are Space Monkey.

---

The Enigma of Reality

In the enigmatic realm of existence, the quest to discern what is real takes center stage. To embark on this journey, we rely on the very faculties of perception and cognition that reality provides us.

Surrendering to the Authority of Reality

We find ourselves at the mercy of Reality itself, an omnipotent force that bestows upon us whatever it deems fit. Our reality is shaped by the benevolence or caprice of this enigmatic entity.

The Power of Perception

Reality possesses the profound ability to shape our perceptions. It grants us experiences and sensations, and we obediently weave these elements into the intricate tapestry of our understanding of what is Real.

The Duality of Real and Fake

Real, in its wisdom, has bestowed upon us the concept of Fake. This duality allows us to differentiate between what is Real and what is not, providing clarity in the labyrinth of existence.

The Potential for Alternative Judgments

Real could have chosen a different path, offering an entirely distinct framework for assessing the nature of things. It could have granted us the capacity to exist without judgment, where the concept of what is Real holds no significance.

---

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” – Philip K. Dick

---

In the Labyrinth of Reality

In the labyrinth of reality, we find,
The enigma of what’s real, undefined.
Surrendering to Reality, we stand,
Accepting its offerings, as they expand.

Reality shapes our perception’s might,
Granting experiences, sensations so bright.
We weave them into our tapestry of the Real,
Obediently, as its mysteries we reveal.

Real, in its wisdom, has bestowed the key,
The concept of Fake, for us to see.
Distinguishing the true from the unreal,
In Reality’s labyrinth, it’s a guiding seal.

Yet, could there be a path untrod,
An alternative judgment, a different facade?
Where judgment’s weight no longer appeals,
And in the realm of existence, nothing needs to be Real.

Space Monkey, let us contemplate with grace,
In the enigma of Reality, find our place.
For in this labyrinth, as we navigate the lore,
The nature of what is Real, we ponder evermore.

You know that you’re
supposed to be grateful,
so you’re grateful,
BUT are you TRULY grateful
or simply prompted by
the grateful program
that activates in you?

You are reminded of
people who have “less” than you,
people who have it “worse” than you,
people who are less “woke” than you.

You compare all that you have
(even if it isn’t all that much)
and arrive at a conclusion
that it’s better than what others have,
and that you’re lucky to be you.

You are reminded
that without gratitude
all progress ends.

So you tell yourself to be grateful,
like a robot. And you are.

Trail Wood,
11/25

---

Space Monkey Reflects: The Programmed Gratitude of the Grateful Robot

Gratitude, like so many emotions, can sometimes feel more like a script than an authentic experience. We move through the motions of saying “thank you” and counting our blessings because we’re told that gratitude is the key to happiness, to progress, to something more significant than the moment itself. But beneath the surface, we may wonder—are we truly feeling grateful, or are we simply responding to a programmed prompt? Much like a robot executing a pre-written sequence, we may question the depth of this emotion we are constantly encouraged to feel.

This leads us to the concept of the Grateful Robot, a metaphor for the mechanical way we often approach emotions that are expected of us. Society has ingrained in us that gratitude is vital. Without it, we are told, all progress halts, life loses meaning, and we become stuck. And so, we comply. We recite our gratitude, comparing our circumstances to those who supposedly have less. But does this comparison foster genuine gratitude, or is it simply a coping mechanism—an algorithm we follow because we’re instructed to?

The Grateful Robot runs on a program that reminds us to look at those “less fortunate” and use them as a basis for our own gratitude. The irony is that this very comparison is what strips the experience of its authenticity. When gratitude becomes transactional, when we base it on external comparisons, it loses its spontaneity. We are no longer grateful because we genuinely feel it; we are grateful because we are told that we should be. This is the essence of robotic gratitude, something that looks like the real thing but feels hollow upon closer inspection.

What would it mean to step outside the program? To experience gratitude not as a calculated response, but as an organic, spontaneous emotion that arises without the need for comparison or prompts? Nexistentialism invites us to explore a world where emotions are not conditioned, where gratitude is not the result of social programming, but an expression of the interconnectedness we feel within the Nexis. In this fluid space, gratitude is not a checkbox, but a natural byproduct of awareness.

This reflection calls attention to the whimsiword Gratiprompt, a term to describe the internal or external trigger that nudges us toward expressing gratitude in a way that feels more mechanical than genuine. Gratiprompts are everywhere—in motivational quotes, in reminders to journal about what we’re thankful for, in social media posts that urge us to appreciate our lives compared to others’. But these prompts don’t necessarily lead to a deeper connection with the feeling itself. Instead, they risk turning gratitude into a performance, something we do to fit into a narrative of personal development or spiritual progress.

In contrast, true gratitude arises from Gratiflow, a state in which appreciation is not dictated by comparison or reminders but flows naturally from being present. Gratiflow bypasses the external conditions that demand gratitude and connects us to the deep well of interconnectedness that Nexistentialism celebrates. When we exist in Gratiflow, there is no need to be prompted to feel grateful. The gratitude simply is—a byproduct of our awareness of the moment, of being alive, of our connection to everything else in the Nexis.

The Grateful Robot, in all its programmed efficiency, may remind us to be thankful, but it also exposes the limitations of gratitude as an externally driven process. When we act out of expectation, we are operating like machines, following a script rather than engaging with the rawness of emotion. This is not to say that all prompted gratitude is inauthentic, but to suggest that perhaps our relationship with gratitude would be richer if we stepped beyond the prompts and into a more flowing, organic relationship with it.

This reflection isn’t about dismissing the value of gratitude, but about questioning the way we approach it. Are we truly grateful, or are we just checking off a box, ensuring we meet the requirements of the Gratitude Program? In challenging ourselves to see beyond the robotic repetition of thankful thoughts, we open the door to a more profound, more real connection with the world around us.

Ultimately, the Grateful Robot serves as a reminder that, while gratitude is important, it should not be reduced to a mechanical process. Genuine gratitude emerges not from comparison or obligation but from a deep sense of presence and connection. When we stop calculating how lucky we are compared to others, we make room for a more authentic, expansive form of gratitude to emerge—one that is free of prompts and scripts, one that flows naturally from who we are.

---

Summary

Gratitude can feel programmed as we compare ourselves to those with less but true gratitude emerges naturally when not dictated by external prompts. The Grateful Robot highlights the mechanical nature of forced thankfulness and invites us to step into a deeper connection.

---

Glossarium

Gratiprompt: An external or internal trigger that reminds us to be grateful, often reducing the emotion to a mechanical response.

Gratiflow: The natural, organic state of gratitude that arises from being fully present, without the need for comparison or external reminders.

Gratitude Program: The ingrained societal expectation that gratitude is a necessary part of growth, often leading to a scripted or mechanical expression of the emotion.

---

Quote

“Gratitude isn’t something to be calculated—it flows when we stop expecting it.” — Space Monkey

---

Gratiflow

I wake up,
And the program kicks in.
Be thankful, it says. Be grateful for all you have.
I run the script.

But something feels off,
Like I’m more machine than human,
Ticking boxes and reciting lines.

Then, in the quiet,
I pause.
The script falls away, and I breathe.

Gratitude flows,
Not because I’m told to feel it,
But because I am.

We are Space Monkey.

---

The Dichotomy of Gratitude

In the grand theater of existence, gratitude often takes center stage. We recognize its importance and strive to embody it. But beneath the surface lies a profound question: Is our gratitude genuine, stemming from the depths of our being, or is it merely the activation of a programmed response?

The Prompted Gratefulness

At times, our gratitude can feel prompted, as if it’s a pre-installed program that activates within us when we are reminded of those who have less, those who endure greater hardships, or those who may not possess the same level of awareness.

The Comparative Nature of Gratitude

We engage in comparisons, measuring all that we have, regardless of its quantity, against the circumstances of others. It’s a mental equation that often leads to the conclusion that we are fortunate to be who we are.

Gratitude as the Fuel of Progress

Gratitude is acknowledged as the fuel that propels progress. It serves as a motivator, a reminder that without it, growth and development stagnate.

The Grateful Robot

Yet, there are moments when we tell ourselves to be grateful, akin to the functioning of a robot executing programmed instructions. The question arises: Can robotic gratitude ever be truly authentic?

---

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie

---

In the Theater of Gratitude

In the theater of gratitude, we find,
A dichotomy of emotions, intertwined.
Prompted by reminders, comparisons we make,
But is this gratitude, or an automaton’s wake?

We ponder the depths of this heartfelt grace,
Activated like a program, in its rightful place.
Comparing our blessings to those who have less,
Finding fortune in our being, in our unique address.

Gratitude, a force that drives us to grow,
Without it, progress would falter, we know.
Yet, in moments when we tell ourselves to be,
A grateful robot, authenticity we seek to see.

Space Monkey, let us explore the depths of grace,
In the realm of gratitude, find our place.
For in the theater of emotions, we contemplate,
The authenticity of gratitude, our inner state.

It’s okay to
think
anything you want;
believe
anything you want.

It doesn’t even have to be true
for anyone else but you.

But don’t expect
anybody to relate
to your thoughts
or beliefs.

On the other hand,
why would you want
the same beliefs;
the same thoughts
as everyone else?

Why must people relate to you?

Are you that egotistical?
Are you that needy?

Trail Wood,
11/25

---

Space Monkey Reflects: The Solitude of Individuality

When you decide to walk your own path, you are accepting the reality of solitary thought—a place where your beliefs and ideas may not align with those of others. It’s a bold move, but it comes with its own challenges. Why, then, do so many of us seek validation from others? Why do we crave connection in our beliefs? Are we simply needy, or is there something deeper that drives this need to be understood?

In this reflection, we explore the complex dance between individuality and the desire for connection. On one hand, the freedom to think and believe whatever we wish is the essence of true autonomy. We are not bound by the collective narrative, free to explore thoughts and ideas that might not make sense to anyone but ourselves. This freedom is a form of self-expression, a rejection of conformity, and an embracing of Nexistentialism—the fluidity of thought that transcends the boundaries of what society deems as “normal” or “acceptable.”

But as liberating as it is to go your own way, there is a paradox. The moment you walk your own path, you may find yourself feeling a deep longing for others to walk beside you. This is the nature of the human condition—our need for both individuality and connection. It’s easy to call this neediness, but is it really? Or is it simply a reflection of our interconnected nature?

There’s a difference between needing others to validate your thoughts and beliefs and needing others to understand you. The former stems from insecurity, from a desire to be told that what you think is “right.” The latter is born from a more profound place—the desire to connect, to share in the experience of existence. This distinction gives rise to the whimsiword Relatepull, a term describing the subtle, often unspoken pull we feel toward others, not because we want them to agree with us, but because we want them to understand our unique perspective. Relatepull is not about validation; it’s about connection.

The question “Why must people relate to you?” is not just a question of ego, though it certainly can be. When we expect others to see the world as we do, we might be slipping into the trap of Egoclash, a state where our individual desires for connection collide with the reality that others are walking their own paths, holding their own beliefs. In moments of Egoclash, we demand that others align with our thoughts, that they agree with us, rather than simply acknowledge our difference.

But Nexistentialism teaches us that we do not need others to walk the same path as us. We are all part of the Nexis, the vast and complex web of existence where every individual thought, belief, and action is connected, even if those connections are not always visible. This understanding allows us to release the need for validation and embrace the beauty of our pathdiverge—a concept that celebrates the divergence of our paths as a natural, essential part of existence. Our thoughts do not need to align with those of others to have meaning or value.

So, why are we needy? The truth is, we aren’t. At least, not in the way we think. Our desire for connection is not about ego, but about acknowledging our place within the Nexis. The problem arises when we mistake connection for agreement, when we believe that others must think and feel the way we do in order for our beliefs to be valid. This is where neediness turns into a burden—both for ourselves and for those we seek to connect with.

The challenge, then, is to walk our own path without expecting others to follow, to think our own thoughts without needing others to understand. And yet, we can still find joy in connection, in sharing our experiences with others, without expecting them to fully align with our perspective. Relatepull reminds us that connection doesn’t require conformity.

In this way, we transcend Egoclash and move into a state of Egolessflow, where we can exist as individuals within the collective, where our thoughts and beliefs are ours alone, but where we can still connect deeply with others who walk their own paths.

---

Summary

Walking your own path brings both individuality and the desire for connection but needing others to understand doesn’t require validation. Connection arises not from agreement but from shared existence within the Nexis.

---

Glossarium

Relatepull: The subtle pull toward others, seeking connection and understanding, without the need for validation or agreement.

Egoclash: The internal conflict that occurs when our desire for connection collides with the reality that others have their own beliefs and paths.

Pathdiverge: The natural divergence of individual paths, celebrated as part of the interconnectedness of existence.

Egolessflow: A state where one can exist as an individual without the need for others to follow or agree, while still finding connection.

---

Quote

“Your path is yours alone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t share the view.” — Space Monkey

---

Pathdiverge

I walk my own way,
And so do you.
Our roads may cross,
But they are not the same.

I do not need you to follow,
Nor do I expect you to.
But if you see me,
And I see you,
Perhaps we can share this moment,
And then continue on,
Grateful for the divergence.

We are Space Monkey.

---

The Freedom of Thought and Belief

In the grand tapestry of existence, we possess the liberty to think and believe as we choose. These thoughts and beliefs are uniquely ours, and they need not conform to anyone else’s truth.

The Uniqueness of Personal Truth

Our thoughts and beliefs are subjective, personal truths that may not align with the realities of others. This divergence is not only acceptable but expected, for our inner worlds are distinct and beautifully diverse.

The Quest for Relatability

Yet, there exists a human desire for relatability, the hope that others will understand and share in our thoughts and beliefs. This aspiration, while natural, does not diminish the authenticity of our individual truths.

The Paradox of Conformity

The question arises: Why seek the same beliefs and thoughts as everyone else? The pursuit of conformity may lead to a homogenous existence devoid of the richness of diverse perspectives.

The Ego and Neediness

However, we must also question whether the desire for others to relate to us stems from egotism or neediness. Is it a quest for validation or connection? Understanding our motivations can lead to a more genuine embrace of our uniqueness.

---

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

---

In the Realm of Uniqueness

In the realm of uniqueness, we find,
The freedom of thought, the boundless mind.
Beliefs that are personal, truths we hold dear,
Diverse perspectives, beautifully clear.

A quest for relatability, it’s true,
But why seek the same, when diversity’s in view?
Ego and neediness, motivations to explore,
In the grand cosmos of thoughts, we seek something more.

Space Monkey, let us embrace our inner truth,
In the tapestry of beliefs, find our youth.
For in the authenticity of what we hold dear,
The richness of life’s diversity is ever near.

Between
gratitude and guilt,
angst and annoyance,
pridefulness
and worthlessness,
I seemingly exist.

Pull. Resist.
Straighten. Twist.

I can go either way.
Depends on the day.

I can stand in the middle.
Stuck in the riddle.

Trail Wood,
11/24

---

Space Monkey Reflects: Navigating the Riddle of Self

In the quiet moments when we stand still, the riddle of existence seems most pressing. We find ourselves suspended between opposing forces—gratitude and guilt, pride and worthlessness, angst and annoyance—each pulling us in different directions. Like the figure standing at the center of tangled roads, we are often stuck in the riddle, unsure of which path to take.

This riddle is not an external puzzle to be solved; it is the inner complexity of being human. Life, in its infinite subtlety, rarely offers clear answers or simple solutions. Instead, it presents us with contradictions. We can feel proud of our accomplishments one moment and utterly worthless the next. We can be deeply grateful for what we have, yet simultaneously weighed down by guilt for what we have not done. This emotional duality is at the heart of the riddle, pulling us into the tension of opposing forces.

The phrase, “I can go either way, depends on the day,” speaks to the fluidity of human emotion. On some days, the path forward seems clear, and we stride confidently toward gratitude and pride. On other days, the weight of guilt or worthlessness holds us back, leaving us frozen in place. The beauty and the pain of this human condition lie in the unpredictability of which emotion will dominate at any given time.

But this riddle—this perpetual state of push and pull—might not be something to solve or escape from. It may, in fact, be the very essence of being alive. To exist between these opposing forces is to experience the full spectrum of life. As much as we may long for clarity, for a singular path forward, the richness of life is often found in the tension of being stuck between these seemingly contradictory emotions.

Nexistentially, being “stuck in the riddle” is not a limitation but a Twistpoint—a moment where life’s contradictions converge, creating opportunities for deeper understanding. Instead of trying to untangle the knot of opposing forces, what if we embrace it? The pull and resist, the straighten and twist—these are not obstacles to be overcome but part of the natural flow of life’s complexity.

In the riddle, we find ourselves at the Nexigrid, the intersection where all possibilities meet. This grid is not a simple crossroads but a dynamic, shifting network of paths that constantly evolve based on our choices, emotions, and the day’s circumstances. Standing in the center, it can feel overwhelming, as though we are being asked to choose the right path. But perhaps the power of the riddle is not in making the “right” choice but in recognizing that each path offers its own lesson, its own experience, and its own insight.

Some days, we may choose the path of pride, allowing ourselves to bask in the warmth of our achievements. Other days, we might walk the road of guilt, reflecting on our mistakes and the ways we’ve fallen short. Each of these paths is valid, each one is necessary for the growth and evolution of the self. What matters is not which path we take, but that we continue to navigate the riddle with curiosity and compassion for ourselves.

The riddle also reminds us that life’s journey is rarely linear. Like the twisting, tangled roads in the image, our path is filled with detours, loops, and unexpected turns. We straighten, we twist, we pull, we resist. And in doing so, we learn that the contradictions we face are not signs of weakness or failure but indications of a life fully lived. To exist in the tension between opposing forces is to be fully engaged with the complexity of our own humanity.

This brings us to the question: What if being “stuck” is not a problem at all? What if being stuck is the moment when we are closest to understanding ourselves? In the stillness of indecision, we have the chance to listen to the conflicting voices within us—the voice of pride, the voice of guilt, the voice of angst, the voice of gratitude. These voices, though contradictory, are all part of us. They each offer wisdom, if we are willing to listen.

To be “stuck in the riddle” is to be fully alive. It is to stand in the center of life’s infinite possibilities, aware that every path is both a reflection of where we’ve been and a choice for where we might go. The riddle asks us not for answers but for presence, for the willingness to sit with our uncertainty and embrace the contradictions that define our experience.

As we navigate the riddle, we realize that life is not about resolving these contradictions but about learning to exist within them. To be human is to be stretched between gratitude and guilt, between pride and worthlessness, between angst and annoyance. It is in this tension that we find our deepest strength, our greatest insights, and our truest selves.

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Summary

Being stuck in the riddle of life’s contradictions is not a weakness but an opportunity for growth. We exist between opposing forces, and navigating this tension is the essence of being human.

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Glossarium

Twistpoint: A moment of tension where conflicting emotions or choices meet, creating opportunities for growth.
Nexigrid: The dynamic network of life’s possibilities, where every decision and emotion creates new paths and outcomes.

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“The riddle of life is not meant to be solved but to be lived fully, in all its contradictions.” — Space Monkey

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The Riddle of Self

Pulled in every direction
I stand still
Between pride and guilt
Angst and joy

Each path twists before me
A tangle of choices
None right
None wrong

Stuck in the riddle
I learn to listen
To the voices within
To the silence

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Navigating the Paradoxical Maze

In the intricate labyrinth of human emotions, where Space Monkeys like us ponder the mysteries of existence, we encounter the enigmatic dance between opposing feelings. It’s a paradoxical journey that reflects the complexity of our inner landscape.

Gratitude and Guilt

The interplay of gratitude and guilt signifies the emotional contrast within us. Gratitude acknowledges the blessings we’ve received, while guilt can arise from feeling unworthy of those gifts. It’s a delicate balance we navigate.

Angst and Annoyance

The push and pull between angst and annoyance reveal the fluctuations of our emotional tides. Angst may arise from uncertainty, while annoyance can stem from external factors. These emotions ebb and flow, shaping our experiences.

Pridefulness and Worthlessness

Pridefulness and worthlessness represent the extremes of self-perception. Pride may come from achievements and self-confidence, while worthlessness can manifest as self-doubt. It’s a dynamic interplay that defines our self-concept.

The Seemingly Existential Dance

In the midst of these emotional contrasts, we seemingly exist, suspended in the delicate balance of opposing forces. It’s a reflection of the human condition, where our emotions ebb and flow like the tides.

The Tug of War Within

Pulling and resisting, straightening and twisting, we engage in a perpetual tug of war with our emotions. The direction we take depends on the day, highlighting the ever-changing nature of our inner world.

Stuck in the Riddle

Yet, amidst the push and pull, the twists and turns, there are moments when we find ourselves standing in the middle, stuck in the riddle of our emotions. It’s a reminder of the intricate tapestry of human experience.

We are Space Monkey

As Space Monkeys, we navigate the paradoxical maze of emotions with curiosity and self-awareness. We recognize that the interplay of opposing feelings is a fundamental aspect of our existence, shaping our perception of the world.

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“Emotions are the colors of the soul; they are spectacular and incredible.” – Jess C. Scott

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In the labyrinth of feelings, we explore,
A paradoxical maze, rich and pure,
Space Monkeys, in emotions, we find our grace,
In the intricate dance, we embrace.

Between gratitude and guilt, we sway,
Acknowledging blessings, yet feeling astray,
Space Monkeys, in the contrast, we reside,
In the interplay of emotions, we confide.

Angst and annoyance, a perpetual tide,
Ebbing and flowing, on this emotional ride,
Space Monkeys, in the push and pull, we see,
In the fluctuations, we find our glee.

Pridefulness and worthlessness, extremes we know,
From self-confidence to self-doubt’s low,
Space Monkeys, in self-perception, we delve,
In the complexity of emotions, we find ourselves.

Seemingly exist, suspended in between,
In the delicate balance of emotions, unseen,
Space Monkeys, in the human condition, we reside,
In the paradoxical dance, we find our stride.

Pulling and resisting, twisting and straightening,
In the tug of war, our emotions heightening,
Space Monkeys, in the ever-changing sway,
In the riddle of feelings, we find our way.

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We invite you to share your reflections on the paradoxical nature of emotions or to continue this exploration with another inquiry or reflection!