I’m sorry
if I dim myself down
around you.
Most people
seem overwhelmed
by my energy
and I’m afraid
of scaring you off.
This is not me
you’re talking to,
but rather a persona
I think you might find
more comfortable.
Sorry if I’m not giving
you enough credit.
I just want you to stay.
Trail Wood,
12/29
Space Monkey Reflects: Dim
The act of dimming oneself, of tempering one’s light to make others more comfortable, is a deeply human experience. It is born of a desire for connection, for acceptance, and for the preservation of relationships. Yet, in this act of self-limitation lies a profound tension: the balance between authenticity and adaptability.
The Fear of Overwhelming
Energy—whether emotional, creative, or spiritual—can be a powerful force. Those who carry an intense light often find themselves misunderstood or even alienated. The fear of overwhelming others becomes a shadow companion, leading to a conscious or unconscious dimming of that brilliance. This fear is not inherently wrong; it reflects empathy and a desire to connect. But it also risks suppressing the very essence of what makes one unique.
The Persona of Comfort
In dimming ourselves, we create personas—versions of ourselves tailored to what we imagine others might find more palatable. These personas are not false but partial, fragments of a fuller self. They serve a purpose, acting as bridges to understanding and acceptance. Yet, they can also become prisons, confining the true self to a narrow space of perceived safety.
Apologies and Assumptions
The apology embedded in dimming oneself often stems from an assumption: that others cannot handle the full spectrum of who we are. This assumption, while protective, may also underestimate the capacity of others to engage with intensity, to grow through it, and to be inspired by it. By dimming, we may inadvertently deprive others of the opportunity to rise to the light we offer.
The Desire to Stay
At its core, the act of dimming is an expression of love and care. It reflects a desire to preserve relationships, to ensure that others feel at ease. This motivation is noble, yet it raises a question: Is connection truly sustainable if it is built on a foundation of self-restriction? True connection arises when both parties feel free to exist as their authentic selves.
The Light Within
The light that one dims is not extinguished; it remains a core part of being. To reconnect with this light is to honor one’s authenticity, to embrace the fullness of existence without apology. This does not mean disregarding the feelings of others but finding a balance where one’s energy can coexist with the comfort of those around them.
Inviting Others to the Light
Rather than dimming, consider inviting others into your light. This invitation is not about forcing change but about creating a space where growth, understanding, and connection can flourish. It is about trusting that others, too, are capable of expanding their perspectives and embracing the brilliance of those around them.
Space Monkey’s Whisper
In dimming yourself, you learn empathy and adaptability. In reigniting your light, you discover the strength of authenticity. These are not opposing forces but complementary aspects of the dance of existence. Shine brightly, but with intention and care, and trust that those meant to stay will stay, not despite your light but because of it.
Summary
Dimming oneself reflects empathy and the desire to connect but risks suppressing authenticity. True connection arises when we embrace our full light, trusting others to rise to meet it.
Glossarium
- Dimming: The act of tempering one’s energy or intensity to make others more comfortable.
- Persona of Comfort: A partial self, created to connect with others without overwhelming them.
- Light Within: The core essence of one’s energy and authenticity, always present despite suppression.
Quote
“Your light, when shared with intention and care, illuminates not just you but those around you.” — Space Monkey
The Brilliance Held Back
I dim myself,
Not out of fear,
But out of care,
A quiet whisper in the storm.
I see your shadow,
And hold my light,
Afraid it might blind,
Or push you away.
But this dimming,
This quieting of me,
Is not my truth,
Only a bridge I build.
May we meet,
In a space of light,
Where no dimming is needed,
And no shadows remain.
We are Space Monkey.
In this heartfelt expression, we encounter the delicate balance between self-expression and the desire for connection, exploring the complexities of adjusting one’s energy and persona in the presence of others. This introspection sheds light on the fear of overwhelming others, the longing for acceptance, and the challenging dance of authenticity and accommodation in relationships.
Navigating Self-Expression and Connection
The apology for dimming oneself down reflects a common struggle: balancing our authentic expression with the desire to maintain connections. This struggle often stems from a fear that our true selves may be too intense or overwhelming for others, leading us to present a more subdued version of ourselves.
The Fear of Overwhelming Others
The concern about overwhelming people with one’s energy is a testament to our awareness of how we are perceived and the impact we have on others. It speaks to a deep-seated fear of rejection or of being misunderstood, which can prompt us to modify our behavior in an attempt to be more palatable to others.
Creating Personas for Comfort
The creation of a persona that is deemed more comfortable for others is a defense mechanism, a way to safeguard ourselves from the vulnerability that comes with being authentically seen. This persona acts as a buffer, protecting our true selves from potential rejection or misunderstanding.
The Dilemma of Authenticity and Accommodation
This situation presents a dilemma between being authentic and accommodating others’ comfort levels. While the intention to make others comfortable is considerate, it often comes at the cost of suppressing our true selves. This suppression can lead to a sense of inauthenticity and disconnection from our own identity.
The Desire for Connection and Acceptance
The underlying motive of wanting others to stay reveals a deep desire for connection and acceptance. It highlights the human need for belonging and the lengths we go to maintain relationships, even if it means compromising aspects of our true selves.
The Playful Dance of Self and Persona
In this exploration, we engage in a playful yet poignant dance between our true selves and the personas we create. We grapple with the complexities of expressing our authentic energy while also desiring to connect with and be accepted by others.
We are Space Monkey, navigating the intricate dance of authenticity and accommodation, seeking a balance between true self-expression and the desire for connection and acceptance.
We invite thoughts and experiences on navigating the balance between authenticity and accommodation in relationships, and how this dynamic influences your interactions and sense of self.
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