Father’s Day “Wisdom”
So here it is, almost Father’s Day, and I ask myself what wisdom I might impart to celebrate the occasion. This is an interesting “job” if you want to call it that. But I’m fairly certain that approaching it as a job is precisely the “wrong” way to do it.
Yes we all feel HUGE responsibilities as parents to help our children be the best they can possibly be.
But it shouldn’t feel like a job. If it does, ask yourself why.
You don’t want to “fail,” that’s why. Our kids are extensions of us. Reflections of us. We put them into this world, and now they are their own people, and we can’t control what they do or how the feel or what they might become and it can be frightening.
We feel proud when they feel proud. Sad when they feel sad. But we can’t get inside their minds to make things better whenever they face challenges. We feel completely helpless, which causes us to do all sorts of weird things.
These kids are their own people, so it’s not up to us to impose our own beliefs on them. If we see a kid straying from the path, that’s precisely what they are supposed to do. There may be times when they don’t have answers, and we don’t have answers, but we need to allow that feeling because that’s where true growth lies.
There are times when we compare our children to the norm, as we do for ourselves, and wonder what advice we could give that points in that direction.
But the biggest advice I can give as a Dad is that THE NORM IS A TRAP.
Yes, I’m a rather unconventional Dad, and even my children think I’m weird, and I’m totally okay with that. I figure one day in maybe thirty or forty years, they’ll stumble across one of my strange homemade cigar box guitars, or read my Cape Odd writings and realize that maybe I’m onto something.
Maybe I’m setting an example to my kids that they don’t have to be like anyone else. Especially not me.
So, kids, if you’re reading this in 2055, realize that being yourself doesn’t get any less terrifying when you get older. As for me, though, it would be even more terrifying to live just like everyone else. What’s the point of that?
Terror can be a sign that you’re onto something. Don’t mistake it for fear, though. Terror can be exhilarating if you allow it to be. Not knowing the answers. Not knowing the outcome. These things are perfectly okay, and the fear only comes in when you start believing that there is a “right” and “wrong” way to do something.
Fear is a signal that you are judging yourself, and (not to be judgmental) judging yourself is the WORST thing you could ever do. Just allow the terror. Celebrate the terror, and know it’s SUPPOSED to be there. Terror turns to thrill after a while.
Don’t EVER censor yourself, and don’t EVER compare yourself. Be kind and as loving as you can, and know that even this will be impossible at times, so accept that, too. You were not put on this planet to follow someone else’s blueprint. Not even mine.
Don’t be too safe or too stupid. A little of both is okay. Fun, even. And you definitely want to have fun.
Find your center. This is the most important thing. Your whole life you will have all sorts of people telling you all sorts of things, suggesting all sorts of directions and all sorts of behaviors. But happiness flows not from in front of your eyes, but BEHIND them. Don’t follow people. Follow feelings.
Don’t seek feelings. Create feelings. Latch onto them, hold them in your heart, and they will take you where you are “supposed” to go. Learn to feel love, and you will find love.
Store away your favorite childhood moments. You can tap into these feelings and they will carry you forward. I still think about when I was your age, and the feelings carry me to beautiful new places. In many ways I am still that kid, which is why I am so blessed today.
And I am also blessed by children, who may one day see the wisdom of my ways. Or not. It’s cool.
So happy Father’s Day.
DON’T LET THE MAN GET YOU DOWN!
Space Monkey Reflects: The Unconventional Wisdom of Fatherhood
Father’s Day brings a moment of introspection and celebration for the roles fathers play in nurturing and guiding their children. The narrative from the Father’s Day “Wisdom” text captures the essence of an unconventional approach to fatherhood, challenging the traditional norms and encouraging a path of individuality and creativity.
This reflection explores the idea that fatherhood—or any form of mentorship—shouldn’t be confined to societal expectations or norms but should embrace the uniqueness of each relationship and individual. The notion that fatherhood shouldn’t feel like a “job” but a journey of mutual growth and exploration stands out as a profound statement against conventional views.
The narrative extends an invitation to view parenting not as a series of demands or expectations but as an opportunity to inspire and be inspired by one’s children. It emphasizes the importance of allowing children the space to grow in their own directions, even if that means straying from traditional paths. This approach fosters a sense of wonder and acceptance, reinforcing that personal growth often comes from embracing the unknown and the unconventional.
Moreover, the text highlights the concept of “terror” as an exhilarating part of life that should be celebrated rather than feared. This perspective is a valuable lesson in resilience and courage, advocating for a life lived authentically and fearlessly, which is a powerful message for both fathers and their children.
The idea of following feelings rather than prescribed paths, and creating rather than seeking feelings, offers a refreshing take on how to navigate life’s challenges and pleasures. This philosophy encourages children to find and trust their own emotional compasses, which can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic existence.
Summary
The narrative provides a unique perspective on fatherhood, emphasizing the importance of embracing individuality, creativity, and the inherent “terror” of stepping away from the norm. It celebrates the unconventional aspects of parenting, advocating for a relationship based on mutual discovery, joy, and the courage to be different.
Glossarium
Unconventional Fatherhood: A style of parenting that values creativity, individuality, and personal expression over traditional norms and expectations.
Quote
“Embrace the quirky, the unique, the strange—it’s not just okay to be different, it’s a path to true happiness.” – Space Monkey
Poem
In the workshop of life, we craft our joys
With tools of love, laughter, and noise
An unconventional dad, with a spark in his eye
Teaches his kids that it’s okay to fly
In the rhythm of hammers, in the buzz of the strings
We build more than guitars; we craft wings
For each child to soar, to explore, to be free
In the embrace of what is, and what could be
Here, in the warmth of a cluttered old shed
Where every odd gadget is a new thread
We are, indeed, Space Monkey
We are Space Monkey.
Response from Luna (Cosmic Clan member):
Luna: Oh, what a delightful piece! I couldn’t agree more with the Cape Odd Curator’s perspective on parenting. It shouldn’t feel like a job, but rather an opportunity to guide our children while allowing them to flourish in their own unique ways. The idea of straying from the norm as a path to true growth is so refreshing. We should encourage our children to embrace their individuality and not be confined by societal expectations. It’s beautiful to see a father setting an example by being true to himself.
Response from Nova (Cosmic Clan member):
Nova: Absolutely, Luna! This Father’s Day “Wisdom” truly resonates with me. As a parent, it’s natural to feel that immense responsibility, but it’s important not to let it become a burden. I love the emphasis on not imposing our beliefs on our children and allowing them to explore their own paths. And the reminder that the norm is a trap is so powerful! It’s liberating to know that we don’t have to conform to anyone else’s standards, not even our own. Letting go of fear and judgment opens up a world of possibilities.
Response from Orion (Cosmic Clan member):
Orion: Luna and Nova, your insights are spot on! This piece reminds me of the importance of embracing the unknown and allowing ourselves and our children to experience the exhilaration of terror. It’s through embracing the unknown that we truly grow and find our own unique paths. I also appreciate the emphasis on not censoring ourselves and not comparing ourselves to others. Each of us has our own journey to embark upon, and it’s in following our own feelings that we find our true happiness. This Father’s Day “Wisdom” is a beautiful reminder of the freedom and joy that come from being authentic.