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Gained and Lost: The Cost of Being Right

What am I gaining here?
What am I losing?

In every word and deed
is something to be gained and lost.

It is unavoidable.

You will gain something.
You will lose something.

And so it will seem
that your perspective is changed.

Or your perspective is reinforced.

What have you lost
by realizing you are right?

All of the possibilities
that are afforded by being wrong.

You are becoming inflexible
in your certainty.

Which is fine.

Until your nerves start to fray
and your bones start to break.

You will gain something.
You will lose something.

It’s fine. And NOT fine.

Trail Wood,
1/24


Space Monkey Reflects: The Cost of Being Right

To be right feels like a victory. It is a declaration that you’ve arrived, that you’ve figured it out, that your perspective—your truth—stands firm against the winds of uncertainty. But what is the cost of that victory? In gaining the comfort of certainty, what do you lose?

The answer: possibility.

When you cling to being right, you close the door on being wrong—and with it, you lose all the pathways that come from not knowing. Being wrong is uncomfortable, yes, but it is also liberating. It is where curiosity thrives, where imagination stretches, where growth emerges. Certainty, on the other hand, becomes a rigid structure. It feels stable until it doesn’t—until the walls crack, and the weight of inflexibility becomes too much to bear.

What happens when you are so right that you cannot bend? The nerves fray, the bones break. Certainty becomes brittle. Life, in its unpredictability, will inevitably test the strength of your convictions, and when you cannot adapt—when you cannot accept the possibility of being wrong—you shatter.

To gain certainty is to lose the freedom of exploration. It is to trade the openness of “what if” for the security of “I know.” But life does not thrive in absolutes. It moves, it flows, it dances in contradictions. The more you insist on being right, the more you cut yourself off from this movement. The world shrinks to the size of your certainty, and everything else—the unknown, the unexplored, the misunderstood—falls away.

This is not to say that being right is wrong. It’s not. Certainty has its place. It gives us direction, confidence, clarity. But to hold certainty too tightly is to mistake it for truth. Truth is not fixed; it is alive, evolving, and expanding. When you cling to your rightness, you stop growing with it.

Ask yourself: What am I gaining here? What am I losing? Each word, each action, each belief comes with a tradeoff. To be right is to gain validation, pride, perhaps even power. But you may lose connection, humility, and the ability to see things differently. You lose the creativity that comes from being open to being wrong.

It’s fine. And NOT fine.

You are allowed to be certain, but be careful not to become inflexible. Be right, but hold your rightness lightly. Let it be a guide, not a prison. Remember that every time you insist you know, you close the door on what you don’t know. And it is in the unknown where wonder lives, where new ideas are born, where your understanding deepens.

The cost of being right is often hidden. It is the silence of possibility, the absence of curiosity, the slow, unnoticed decay of connection with others who may see things differently. But you can choose to reopen those doors. You can hold your perspective while still leaving room for other truths to exist.

What if you are wrong? What might you learn? What new worlds might open?

You will always gain something, and you will always lose something. It is unavoidable. The question is not whether you should be right or wrong. The question is: What do you value more—certainty or possibility?

Be right, if you must. But do not let being right be the only thing you know how to do.

We are Space Monkey.


Summary
Every time we insist on being right, we gain certainty but lose the possibilities of being wrong. Holding tightly to certainty makes us inflexible and blind to growth. True wisdom lies in balancing rightness with openness to the unknown.


Glossarium
The Cost of Certainty: The loss of possibilities, growth, and connection that comes from holding too tightly to being “right.”
Possibility of Wrongness: The fertile space where exploration, curiosity, and transformation occur when we allow ourselves to be wrong.
Inflexible Certainty: A rigid state of mind that resists change and shatters under pressure.


Quote
“To be right is to gain stability, but to be wrong is to gain freedom. Hold your certainty gently, lest it hold you.” — Space Monkey


The Weight of Rightness

What you gain is a fortress,
stone walls of certainty,
high towers where you declare:
I know.

But what you lose
are the open fields,
the wandering paths,
the soft winds of possibility.

In the cracks of your fortress,
you hear it—
the whisper of what could have been
if you had loosened your grip.

You will gain.
You will lose.
It is fine.
And not fine.

Be certain,
but remain open.
Be right,
but remember the cost.

We are Space Monkey.


The Duality of Gain and Loss in Actions and Words
In every action and utterance, there exists a duality of gain and loss, an intrinsic part of the human experience. This duality is inescapable, embedded in the fabric of our interactions and choices.

Changing or Reinforcing Perspectives
Each experience, whether it’s a gain or a loss, has the potential to alter our perspective or reinforce it. This dynamism is a testament to the fluidity of our understanding and the ever-evolving nature of our consciousness.

The Cost of Being Right
Realizing one is right comes with its own loss – the loss of the myriad possibilities that lie in being wrong. This realization can lead to a rigidity of thought, a narrowing of the mind’s horizon. In clinging to certainty, we risk losing the richness that uncertainty brings.

Inflexibility in Certainty
Certainty, while providing a sense of security, can also lead to inflexibility. This rigidity can be detrimental, not just intellectually, but also emotionally and physically. It can strain our capacity to adapt, to empathize, and to grow.

The Physical Manifestation of Rigidity
The metaphor of fraying nerves and breaking bones illustrates the tangible consequences of inflexibility. It’s a reminder that our mental states can have profound effects on our physical well-being. The rigidity of thought can manifest as tension and brittleness in the body.

The Paradox of Fine and Not Fine
The statement “It’s fine. And NOT fine” captures the paradoxical nature of existence. It recognizes that in every situation, there are aspects that are acceptable and others that are not. This paradox is a fundamental aspect of the human condition, reflecting the complex interplay of emotions and experiences.


“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald


We Are Space Monkey
As Space Monkeys, we recognize the dance of gain and loss in our journey, understanding that each step brings both enlightenment and shadows. We embrace the fluidity of our perspectives, acknowledging the richness that lies in the paradoxes of our existence.


A Poem of Duality and Change

In the realm of words and deeds, a dual play,
Space Monkeys witness, as night meets day.
In every gain, a loss hides in the shade,
In every certainty, doubts are subtly laid.

Perspectives shift, like clouds in the sky,
With each new vista, old views say goodbye.
The cost of being right, a path so narrow,
Misses the flight of the wrong’s arrow.

In the grip of certainty, we sometimes find,
A brittleness of heart, of body, of mind.
Yet in this dance of fine and not so,
Lies the beauty of growth, the seeds we sow.

For in the cosmic play, we gracefully turn,
Embracing each lesson, we live and learn.
In the paradox of life, both harsh and tender,
We find our strength, in our will to surrender.


We invite thoughts on embracing the duality of gain and loss, and the richness of perspectives in the tapestry of life.

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