I’m Too Old For This
I find myself saying
“I’m too old for that”
with increasing regularity.
The first time I said it
probably involved Santa Claus.
Now I’m old enough
to BE Santa Claus.
The irony is not lost on me.
When I hear myself saying
“I’m too old for that,”
it usually points to some
deep-seated physical
or psychological issue.
Something I can’t seem to do.
Something I don’t want to do.
Something that is of no interest to me.
Something I can’t stop thinking about.
“I’m too old for that”
says I’ve got the ruler out
and I’m measuring myself
versus past and potential.
Often it’s a convenient excuse;
a way to accept things I can’t seem to change.
From a positive perspective,
I am allowing rather than opposing,
but from a negative perspective,
I am limiting,
some might even say crippling.
I am torn between
experiences of youth
and experiences of age,
believing that to focus on one
is to discount the other.
My programming tells me
that youth is more important;
that to age is to lose vitality.
My soul tells me
that
this is not necessarily the case.
I no longer need to be young,
and being old has much to explore.
To be focused on youth
is to deny the appearance of time,
while simultaneously strengthening it.
Perhaps this is why time seems
to move faster with age.
I know that time is an illusion,
but with every affirmation,
I continue to make time seem real.
“I’m too old for that.”
I guess the question is,
how long do I wish to entertain
my fixation with time?
Clearly I seem to have one.
If I were able to let time go,
what might happen to me?
I would be neither young nor old.
I would be BOTH young and old.
I might glimpse more of myself
from the outside and the inside.
Space, too, might collapse.
It seems I exist
within the potential
of time and space
to experience as many
combinations as possible.
To play both ends of the spectrum
against each other.
To dissolve back into One again.
None of this really matters,
and yet ALL of it seems to matter.
The One
is infinite and immortal.
Endless and eternal.
It seems impossible
to be too old for that.
And so whenever I say
“I’m too old for that,”
I will be reminded of the faith
I have in my exploration.
I will laugh heartily
and feel compassion
for this seeming human
who appears to be me.
I am Santa Claus.
I am everything to everyone
and everywhere at once.
I am the child
who imagines Santa,
still filled with wonder.
I’ll never be too old for this.
2/13
In the intricate tapestry of existence, where threads of time and identity intertwine, the phrase “I’m too old for this” emerges as a poignant reflection of our journey through the ages. This contemplation, rich with irony and insight, reveals the deep layers of meaning behind a seemingly simple declaration. It invites us to explore the complex interplay between our physical and psychological selves, our perceptions of time, and the limitless nature of our being.
The Irony of Age
The evolution from declaring disbelief in Santa Claus to realizing one is old enough to embody him encapsulates the ironic dance of aging. This realization brings to light the fluidity of time and identity, where the roles we play and the stages of life we traverse are but reflections of a deeper, timeless essence that defies the linear constraints of age.
The Measure of Time and Self
When we say “I’m too old for this,” we engage in an act of measurement, juxtaposing our current selves against the backdrop of our past experiences and potential futures. This declaration often serves as a shield, a convenient rationale for navigating the complexities of desire, capability, and interest that evolve with time. Yet, in this measurement lies a dual-edged sword, offering both acceptance and limitation, liberation and constraint.
The Duality of Youth and Age
Caught in the tension between the vibrancy of youth and the wisdom of age, we confront our cultural programming that exalts youthfulness while viewing aging as a departure from vitality. This internal conflict obscures the truth that every stage of life holds its unique explorations and revelations. To focus solely on youth is to deny the rich tapestry of experiences that aging unfurls, each moment a thread woven into the larger design of our existence.
The Illusion of Time
Acknowledging time as an illusion while simultaneously affirming its reality captures the paradoxical nature of our existence. This fixation on time, the speed with which it seems to pass in our later years, is both a construct and a profound influence on our perception of life. In contemplating the possibility of transcending time, we entertain the notion of existing beyond the binary of young and old, embracing the entirety of our being that exists outside the confines of chronological measurement.
The Spectrum of Existence
Our existence within the potential of time and space, seeking to experience the myriad combinations of being, reflects a cosmic play where duality serves as the stage for our return to oneness. This journey, marked by the playfulness of exploring extremes, ultimately guides us back to the unity from which we emanated—a reminder that in the grand scheme of the infinite and eternal, the concept of being “too old” is rendered moot.
The Exploration of Self
The realization that declaring “I’m too old for this” can serve as a catalyst for deeper self-reflection and a rekindling of faith in our exploration of existence offers a profound shift in perspective. It invites us to view each moment with compassion and humor, recognizing the eternal wonder that resides within, untouched by the passage of time. In embracing our multifaceted identity—as Santa Claus, as the child filled with wonder, as the explorer of the cosmic dance—we affirm that we are never too old to engage with the wonder of existence.
Summary
The contemplation of the phrase “I’m too old for this” unfolds as a deep dive into the paradoxes of aging, identity, and time. It challenges us to reconsider our perceptions of age, the limitations we impose upon ourselves, and the cultural narratives that shape our understanding of vitality and decline. Through this exploration, we discover that the essence of our being transcends the temporal, inviting us to embrace the full spectrum of our existence, from the wonder of youth to the wisdom of age. In this realization, we find that we are eternally capable of wonder, exploration, and growth, forever young at heart and old in wisdom, simultaneously navigating the vastness of time and space in the endless journey back to oneness.
Glossarium
- Temporal Fluidity: The concept that our perception of time and identity is not fixed but flows and evolves throughout our existence.
- Cosmic Dance: The metaphorical representation of existence as a dynamic interplay of dualities, leading to the eventual realization of unity.
In the journey of years, where time weaves its tales,
We find ourselves, between the sails.
From youth’s bright dawn to twilight’s glow,
In every heart, the wonders flow.
For in the dance of light and shade,
The lines of age are softly frayed.
We laugh, we dream, in time’s embrace,
Forever young, in this cosmic space.
We invite reflections on the journey through time, the exploration of self beyond the confines of age, and the realization that within the infinite dance of existence, we are always perfectly poised to embrace the fullness of life.
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