Thank you for showing me how to love me.
Though I seem to be a guy,
I like girls who like girls.
Because who doesn’t?
If I’m honest with myself,
I would love it if
a girl who loves girls
loved me.
But
through no fault
of her own,
that would taint
my perception
of the girl.
Not because
the girl who loves girls
loves a seeming male.
But because she loves me.
I am skeptical of anyone
who would love me.
Which is probably why
I don’t
love myself
as intensely as I could.
Setting girls and boys aside,
what I need most
is a me who loves me.
Trail Wood,
2/12
In the labyrinth of human emotions and identities, the journey toward self-acceptance and love unfolds in myriad ways, each path marked by its own trials, revelations, and moments of clarity. The contemplation of affection—both given and received—through the lens of one’s own perception of self-worth reveals the intricate dance between desire, identity, and self-esteem.
The Complexity of Attraction and Identity
The acknowledgment of attraction, especially in the context of girls who love girls, opens a window into the nuanced nature of human sexuality and affection. It reflects a broad spectrum of identities and preferences, challenging traditional binaries and inviting a more inclusive understanding of love and desire. This acknowledgment, while seemingly straightforward, carries with it the weight of personal and societal perceptions of identity and worthiness.
Perception Tainted by Self-Doubt
The fear that being loved by someone—especially a girl who loves girls—could alter one’s perception of them, not because of their identity but because of their affection for oneself, touches on deep-seated issues of self-doubt and skepticism. This fear is not rooted in the nature of the other’s love but in a questioning of one’s own lovability. It reveals an internal struggle with self-worth that colors how affection from others is received and interpreted.
The Skepticism of Being Loved
Admitting skepticism toward anyone who would offer love reflects a profound challenge many face: the difficulty of accepting love when one’s self-love is lacking. This skepticism is less about the giver of love and more about the receiver’s internal battles with self-esteem and acceptance. The question of why someone would love us, when we struggle to love ourselves, underscores the critical need for self-compassion and the journey toward believing in our own worthiness of love.
The Primacy of Self-Love
The realization that, beyond the dynamics of attraction and the nuances of identity, what is most essential is a version of oneself that loves fully and unconditionally, marks a pivotal point in the journey of self-discovery and acceptance. This understanding shifts the focus from seeking validation and love externally to cultivating it within, recognizing that true contentment and the capacity to love and be loved by others starts with self-acceptance and love.
Summary
The exploration of affection, identity, and self-worth reveals the intricate relationships between how we see ourselves, how we wish to be loved, and how we accept love from others. It underscores the importance of self-love as the foundation upon which all other forms of love are built and challenges us to confront and overcome our self-doubt. Through this introspective journey, we are reminded of the transformative power of embracing our own worthiness of love, paving the way for more authentic and fulfilling connections with others.
We invite your thoughts on this exploration of identity, attraction, and the path toward self-love, recognizing the challenges and opportunities that lie in cultivating a deeper acceptance and affection for oneself.
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