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Always Exactly You: Illusion of “Finding Yourself”

You don’t need to do either, but knock yourself out.

Which is more important:
that you find your way
or that your find your self?

Aren’t these two separate things?

It is IMPOSSIBLE not to be you,
and yet somehow you are convinced
that your authentic soul is being concealed from you.

You believe
that finding your way
IS finding your soul —
as though you or someone else
left a trail of breadcrumbs
that can only be revealed
through immense spiritual effort.

Perhaps finding your self
is more important,
but it’s also completely unnecessary.

You are ALWAYS EXACTLY YOU
in this very moment.

Trail Wood,
10/27


Space Monkey Reflects: The Illusion of Finding Your Self

The question arises: what is more important, finding your way or finding your self? For many, these objectives seem to travel on distinct paths. “Finding your way” suggests an external quest: moving through life’s choices, challenges, and moments that define your path. Meanwhile, “finding your self” is often viewed as an internal pilgrimage, a deeper exploration through meditation, introspection, or spiritual awakening. Yet, these are not two separate endeavors. They are the same, for the self you seek has never been hidden from you.

The very notion of a hidden self is a curious one. It carries an assumption that somewhere, your authentic self has been lost or buried under layers of distraction, societal expectations, or personal mistakes. You imagine that through some monumental effort—spiritual or otherwise—you will peel back these layers, much like an archaeologist uncovering an ancient artifact, and find the “real you” shining beneath.

But the truth is simpler than that. You are always exactly you in this very moment, just as you are. The “authentic” self you long to discover is not missing. It is not waiting for some grand moment of revelation. It has been present all along, like sunlight passing through a window—unchanged, illuminating everything it touches.

This idea challenges the way many approach self-discovery. The cultural myth that we must follow breadcrumbs of wisdom or spiritual insight until we find the prize of “true self” keeps us perpetually in search. But what if there is nothing to find because it has been here all along? What if the journey has never been one of seeking but one of accepting?

The metaphor of following a path, leaving breadcrumbs, and attempting to find something implies a starting point and an ending point. In the realm of human experience, we often view our lives in this linear fashion. We move from one place to another, seeking milestones or answers. But what if, in the timelessness of the universe, such linear thinking is an illusion?

The Nexistentialist perspective invites us to see ourselves not as wanderers on a linear path but as integral parts of the Nexis—a dynamic, interconnected web where everything exists simultaneously. In the Nexis, the self is not something to discover; it is something to experience fully in the here and now. You are always “exactly you,” and the only thing that shifts is your awareness of it.

Much like the concept of Whimsiweave, which weaves the playful and imaginative threads of existence into a cohesive whole, the self is woven into the fabric of every moment. There is no “greater” self to be found later, only the self you are in this very moment. If the journey is to discover anything, it is the awareness of this simple truth.

The illusion of “finding yourself” leads us away from this profound reality. It suggests that the self is somewhere else, hidden or distant, awaiting discovery. Yet, as you reflect, you realize the self is never apart from you. The breadcrumbs were not left for you to follow. They were placed to remind you that you have always been home.

And so, this brings us to the ultimate question: What does it mean to truly know yourself? It is not about uncovering some hidden aspect or transforming into a better version of yourself. It is about being present with the self that is. It is about dissolving the notion that there is a better, more “authentic” version of you waiting in the wings, if only you could access it. You are authentic now. You are whole now.

The process of “finding” yourself, then, becomes unnecessary. The realization emerges that there was never anything to find. Your essence, your soul, your being has been here all along, silently observing your search, waiting for you to see that you have been exactly who you are meant to be—forever.


Summary

You are always exactly you in every moment. The search for a hidden or more authentic self is unnecessary because the self you seek is always present. The idea of finding yourself is an illusion, as you have never been anything other than what you are right now.


Glossarium

  • Nexis: The interconnected web of existence, where everything is interwoven and simultaneous. A cosmic framework of reality, aligning imagination and being.
  • Whimsiweave: The playful, imaginative threads of life that bind all moments and experiences into a continuous whole.
  • Breadcrumb Paradox: The belief that one needs to follow a spiritual or existential trail to find the self, when in fact, the self has never been hidden.

Quote

“You are always exactly you. There is no other version waiting to be found.” — Space Monkey


The Journey Without a Path

There was no beginning
And no end
No breadcrumb trail
Only steps made in the soft, yielding sand
By feet that have always been here.
No path to the horizon
Just the illusion of seeking.
Still, you are not lost
Nor are you found.
You are here
Exactly as you’ve always been
Just as you will always be.

We are Space Monkey.


The Illusion of Separation

At the heart of many spiritual journeys lies a paradox: the search for self. This quest often stems from a perceived disconnect, a feeling that one’s true self is hidden or lost, waiting to be discovered.

Paths and Destinations

There’s a distinction between finding one’s way and finding oneself. The former implies a journey, a series of steps leading to a destination. The latter, however, suggests an unveiling or realization, an understanding of one’s intrinsic nature.

The Mirage of Authenticity

Our beliefs and societal narratives often posit that there’s an “authentic” version of ourselves, distinct from who we currently are. This perceived gap drives the relentless pursuit to uncover and embrace this “real” self.

Existence in the Present

The irony, perhaps, is that the true self isn’t hidden, buried, or lost. It’s always present, always available. Every thought, emotion, and action is a reflection of the self in that specific moment. There is no detour from authenticity because every experience is genuine.

Embracing the Constant

While the journey of self-discovery can be enriching, it’s essential to remember that one’s essence remains unchanged. The self is a constant, ever-present through change, growth, and transformation.


“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha


Amidst the cosmic dance,
Where stars twirl and glance,
Lies a truth so profound,
In silence, it’s found.

The self, ever true,
No journey to pursue,
For in every beat and hue,
There’s always exactly you.


How might we further delve into the essence of being and the intricate dance between self-perception and reality? The beauty of existence lies in its vast expanse and the myriad perspectives it offers.

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