If you want flowers
on Valentine’s Day,
buy yourself flowers.
To expect flowers
is unbecoming of you.
You can become whatever you want
without someone else’s attention.
You can become sad.You can become bitter.
Or you can become forgiving.
You can forgive yourself
for demanding so much.
Despite what you may believe,
nobody needs to prove to you
that you are special.
Trail Wood,
2/7
Space Monkey Reflects: See the Love—Be the Love
Love, in its truest form, is not a transaction but a state of being. It is a resonance that exists independently of conditions, needs, or expectations. To see the love is to recognize its presence everywhere; to be the love is to embody it fully, starting with oneself. This understanding of love transforms relationships into reflections of mutual wholeness, rather than dependencies on incomplete parts.
Reflections: Love Beyond Conditions
The Paradox of Self-Love
Loving oneself is often misunderstood as selfish or vain, yet it is the foundation upon which all other love rests. To love another without first loving oneself is to offer a hollow gesture, one rooted in lack rather than abundance. Even in moments of self-loathing, the paradox remains: we still act in ways that prioritize our existence, proving that self-love is intrinsic, though it may manifest in distorted forms.
By acknowledging and embracing this self-love, we align with the truth of our being. It is not a competition between loving ourselves and others; it is an understanding that love is infinite, expanding outward from the center of our own existence.
The Liberation of Unconditional Love
“I don’t need somebody to love me. I love me.” This declaration is not an act of defiance but one of liberation. It frees us from the expectations and dependencies that so often burden relationships. When we love ourselves fully, we release others from the obligation to complete us, allowing love to exist as a mutual sharing rather than a transactional exchange.
This mutual wholeness creates a love that is unavoidable—a resonance that cannot help but exist between two beings who see and accept themselves fully. In this space, love becomes not something we seek but something we embody.
Love as Service
To love oneself deeply is to be of service to others. It may seem counterintuitive, yet when we prioritize our own wholeness, we bring our best selves into our relationships. We offer love not from a place of need or lack but from a place of abundance and authenticity. In this way, self-love becomes an act of service, a gift that enhances the lives of those around us.
Conversely, when we neglect self-love, we unintentionally diminish our capacity to love others. To truly love another, we must first be the love we wish to give.
The Inevitability of Love
The statement, “This is why we are in love. It is unavoidable,” speaks to the universal nature of love. Love is not something we create or control; it is a fundamental aspect of existence, an intrinsic connection that binds all beings. To recognize this inevitability is to see love not as something external to strive for but as the essence of who we are.
This perspective dissolves the barriers of ego, allowing us to love without conditions, expectations, or fear. It is an acceptance that love is not a choice but a reality, woven into the fabric of existence.
The Reflection of Love
In loving ourselves, we create a mirror for others to see their own capacity for love. This mutual reflection amplifies the resonance of love, creating a cycle that transcends individual boundaries. The love we see becomes the love we are, and the love we are becomes the love we share.
Summary
Love is not a need or a transaction but a state of being that begins with oneself. By loving ourselves unconditionally, we free others from the burden of completing us, creating relationships rooted in mutual wholeness. Love, seen and embodied, becomes inevitable—a reflection of the infinite connection that binds all existence.
Glossarium
- Unconditional Self-Love: A deep acceptance and appreciation of oneself, independent of external validation.
- Mutual Wholeness: Relationships where both individuals are complete within themselves, allowing love to flow freely.
- Inevitability of Love: The recognition that love is a fundamental, unavoidable aspect of existence.
- Love as Service: The act of loving oneself deeply to enhance one’s capacity to love and serve others.
Quote
“To see the love is to recognize its presence everywhere; to be the love is to embody it fully, starting with oneself.” — Space Monkey
The Unavoidable Love
I see you.
I see the love.
Not in your eyes alone,
but in the space between us.
I feel you.
I feel the love.
Not as something you give,
but as something we are.
This love is not mine,
nor is it yours.
It is the thread
that binds us to the infinite.
In loving myself,
I love you.
In loving you,
I find myself.
We are love,
unavoidable,
inseparable,
infinite.
We are Space Monkey.
The Empowerment of Self-Love: Cultivating Our Own Valentine’s Celebration
In the labyrinth of human emotions and expectations, the concept of Valentine’s Day often carries a weight far beyond mere celebration—it becomes a mirror reflecting our deepest desires for validation, love, and recognition. Yet, within this reflection lies a powerful invitation: the call to be our own Valentine, to recognize our worth independently of external affirmations.
Choosing Self-Gifted Love
The act of buying ourselves flowers on Valentine’s Day transcends the simple purchase; it’s a declaration of self-love, a testament to our worth that does not hinge on another’s acknowledgment. This gesture symbolizes a broader capacity to fulfill our desires and needs, affirming that our happiness and sense of value are not contingent upon external validation.
The Unbecoming Expectation
To expect love and validation from others as a measure of our worth is a path fraught with disappointment. This expectation, often unspoken, places our sense of self-worth in the hands of others, making it volatile and dependent. Recognizing the unbecoming nature of such expectations invites us to a deeper understanding of self-reliance and the intrinsic value of our being.
The Spectrum of Becoming
The journey of self-recognition and love offers a spectrum of possibilities. We can choose the path of sadness or bitterness, reactions to unmet expectations from the world around us. Alternatively, we can embrace forgiveness, both towards ourselves and others, for the often unrealistic demands placed on love and validation.
Forgiveness as a Path to Freedom
Forgiving ourselves for seeking validation outside our essence is a profound step towards freedom. It acknowledges our human desire to feel special and loved but also recognizes the power we hold to grant ourselves that very recognition and affection.
The Illusion of Required Proof
The belief that our specialness needs to be proven by someone else is an illusion that binds us to a perpetual search for external validation. Breaking free from this belief is a liberation, a realization that our worth is inherent and does not require external evidence to be validated.
The Empowerment of Self-Validation
Choosing to be our own Valentine is an act of empowerment. It is a celebration of our ability to love, cherish, and validate ourselves in the absence of external approval. This self-validation is not a one-time event but a continuous process of recognizing and celebrating our worth, strengths, and uniqueness.
The Collective Journey of Self-Love
While the path to becoming our own Valentine is deeply personal, it is also a collective journey. By embracing self-love and independence in our quest for validation, we inspire those around us to recognize their inherent worth. This collective embrace of self-validation fosters a community where love is freely given and received, not as a proof of worth but as a celebration of our shared humanity.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde
In the garden of self, where love blooms bright,
We find our worth, in our own light.
No need for others to confirm our might,
For in our hearts, we hold that sight.
With flowers self-gifted, our spirits take flight,
A celebration of love, in our own right.
Valentine’s Day, a solo delight,
In self-love’s embrace, we find our knight.
We are Space Monkey.
We invite reflections on the journey of self-love and becoming our own Valentine, celebrating the beauty of self-recognition and the empowerment found in self-validation.
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