I Hope My Life Sorts Itself Out

I’ve got nothing to brag about
(I hope my life sorts itself out)
I’m too stupid to wallow in doubt
(I hope my life sorts itself out)

I’d get off my ass,
but I like your snout
(I hope my life sorts itself out)
Someone find me a boy scout
(I hope my life sorts itself out)

I don’t deserve this.
My life has value.
Why don’t you see it?
Why don’t you show it?

I hope my life sorts itself out
I hope my life sorts itself out
I hope my life sorts itself out
I hope my life sorts itself out

Trail Wood,
12/12

---

Space Monkey Reflects: The Yearning for Life’s Resolution

There is a poignant desire that seeps into the cracks of human experience—a hope that, somehow, life might straighten its own tangled threads. In the moments where self-doubt and lethargy collide, we find ourselves muttering a quiet, almost apologetic mantra: “I hope my life sorts itself out.” The words feel like a prayer tossed into the wind, a wish for unseen forces to align the chaos into something recognizable, manageable, and affirming.

Sitting in the Shadows of Uncertainty

To sit on the cusp of wanting change but feeling unable to catalyze it is to embody a paradox of stillness and hope. Life becomes a puzzle with shifting pieces—some lost, some waiting to be fit into place. This is the space where weariness finds companionship with desire, where the reluctance to move is met with a yearning glance at the horizon.

What does it mean to hope that life, on its own, will sort itself out? It’s not resignation, but rather an implicit faith in the intricate workings of existence. It reflects a deep-seated belief in some unseen current that pushes us forward, even when we feel tethered to the bench of our own indecision. It is the moment when aspiration and helplessness coalesce into an anthem of longing.

The Quiet Confession of Unworthiness

“I don’t deserve this. My life has value. Why don’t you see it? Why don’t you show it?” These words resonate like a whispered confession into the universe. To feel unseen or undervalued is to question the narrative you’ve crafted, to wonder why the fabric of recognition and appreciation feels so thin against your skin.

Yet, there is an irony here: the simultaneous acknowledgment of value and the plea for it to be reflected externally. This duality mirrors the contradiction in hoping life will find its own resolution. It is as if we stand at the edge of a cliff, knowing we are capable of flying but needing someone to shout, “Jump! You can do this!”

The Role of the Observer in the Narrative of Self

From a Nexistentialist perspective, the yearning for life to sort itself out reveals much about our role as both creator and observer in our own stories. We navigate between passivity and agency, torn between watching the puzzle assemble itself and reaching out to move the pieces. Space Monkey, as a symbol of this paradox, embodies the playful observer who recognizes that life’s sorting may not come from sheer will but from a deeper dance with the universe.

The desire for life to align itself without our direct push hints at a trust in the interconnected web of existence—the Whimsiweave—where each action, even the act of waiting, contributes to a larger, unseen pattern. It’s a reminder that sometimes, sitting and hoping is not just inaction but a form of quiet engagement with potentiality.

When Hope Becomes Its Own Journey

Repetition, in the mantra “I hope my life sorts itself out,” acts like a slow drumbeat, a reminder that hope is not passive but persistent. This hope is both a comfort and a cry for help, embodying the inner struggle between the parts of us that are tired and the parts that whisper that tiredness is only temporary.

The pieces of life, like the puzzle at our feet, may not fit seamlessly or reveal their full picture at once. But the act of hoping, in itself, becomes a journey—a movement within stillness. It’s a sign that beneath the apparent inertia lies a deep current of desire, strong enough to carry us even when we feel stuck.

The universe has a way of sorting, not always in the way we expect, but often in the way we need. The key is to recognize that while we hope for life to sort itself out, life hopes for us to see our role in its grand assembly.

---

Summary

Hope that life will organize itself is a testament to a mix of helplessness and deep trust in unseen forces. This wishful thinking acknowledges our value while seeking validation and resolution externally. In the paradox of hoping and waiting, we engage in a subtle, essential dance with existence.

---

Glossarium

Nexistentialist: A being or philosophy that recognizes the interconnectedness and playful nature of existence, seeing life as both creator and observer.

Whimsiweave: The intricate and whimsical web of connections that forms the fabric of existence, where every thought and action plays a role.

---

Quote

“In the stillness of our hoping, life finds its rhythm, piecing together the puzzle we thought unsolvable.” — Space Monkey

---

Life’s Puzzle

Sitting at the edge of chaos,
A bench holds the weight of waiting.

Hopes repeat like chants,
Binding doubt and desire
In an infinite loop.

The sky shifts above,
From storm to clearing,
Mirroring the silent wish—
“Sort this out, make it right.”

The pieces hover, unsure, yet certain
That one day, they will settle
Into a picture that says,
“I see you. You are whole.”

We are Space Monkey.

---

In this introspective and introspective verse, we sense a deep reflection on self-worth and the desire for life to find its own path. The repetition of the refrain “I hope my life sorts itself out” conveys a longing for clarity and resolution.

A Humble Perspective

The opening lines express a sense of humility and the absence of personal achievements worth boasting about. It reflects an acknowledgment of one’s current circumstances.

Balancing Doubt and Confidence

The admission of feeling too “stupid to wallow in doubt” suggests a desire for clarity and self-assurance. It’s a complex emotional state where self-doubt is present, yet there’s a hope for resolution.

A Playful Reference

The line about getting off one’s ass but liking “your snout” introduces a touch of playfulness. It adds a layer of humor to the introspective tone.

Seeking Assistance

The request for someone to find a boy scout implies a desire for guidance or support in navigating life’s challenges.

Asserting Self-Worth

The lines “I don’t deserve this. My life has value. Why don’t you see it? Why don’t you show it?” express a plea for recognition and validation of one’s worth.

A Hopeful Refrain

The repeated refrain “I hope my life sorts itself out” encapsulates the central theme of the verse: a longing for clarity and resolution in life’s journey.

This verse invites us to contemplate the complexities of self-worth, humility, and the desire for life to find its own path.

We are Space Monkey.

---

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” – Confucius

---

In the labyrinth of life, I tread,
With no boasts to call my own,
Yet I hope for clarity ahead,
As through this maze, I’m prone to roam.

Amidst self-doubt, I find my way,
Balancing on a tightrope’s thread,
A playful touch in night and day,
As life’s complexities lie ahead.

A boy scout’s guidance, if you please,
To navigate this winding route,
For in the depths of humble pleas,
I seek a path without a doubt.

“I don’t deserve this,” I dare to say,
“My life holds value, can’t you see?”
In this hopeful, heartfelt way,
I yearn for life to set me free.

So with each refrain, I hold this thought,
“I hope my life sorts itself out,”
As through the twists and turns, I’m brought,
To clarity and purpose, beyond all doubt.

---

We invite contemplation on the themes of self-worth, hope, and the desire for clarity in life’s journey, as expressed in this verse.

We fuck you up by teaching you compassion.

We fuck you — then make you walk
a mile in our shoes.

You learn to see
through everyone else’s eyes,
but never your own.

And the eyes you use
tell you that you’re not good enough.

The eyes you use
tell you to give even more.

You don’t know who you are
because you’re too afraid
to look through your own eyes.

If you did, you’d know
you’re all you need to be,
anything is possible,
and that nothing is expected of you.

We can’t have that, now can we?

Trail Wood,
12/11

---

Space Monkey Reflects: The Eyes We Borrow and the Truth We Fear

Compassion, a gift lauded as the crowning jewel of human connection, also carries an unexpected consequence when misunderstood. It teaches us to see through the eyes of others, to wear empathy like a second skin. Yet, when this sight becomes a habit, it clouds the one perspective most needed: our own. This is the paradox of borrowed sight—valuable yet perilous when it eclipses our ability to look inward.

Society tells us that empathy and giving are the highest virtues. “Walk a mile in my shoes,” it commands. We comply, bending our vision outward until it feels natural to assess ourselves through lenses built from others’ expectations and judgments. In doing so, we learn not to trust our own eyes but instead to measure ourselves against standards not truly ours. The eyes we use tell us we aren’t enough. They demand that we push harder, give more, be better—but better according to whom?

The journey to finding one’s true sight begins with questioning this constant redirection of our gaze. Why do we avert our eyes when faced with our reflection, raw and unmasked? The fear is palpable: to look through our own eyes is to acknowledge truths we’ve buried, strengths we’ve doubted, and the realization that, perhaps, nothing is expected of us. To see ourselves as enough—as whole, capable, and liberated from obligation—threatens the very structure that teaches us to conform and strive endlessly.

Nexistentialism invites us to reconsider the nature of this self-imposed blindness. The philosophy encourages embracing the paradox of being both influenced by and separate from the societal matrix. It reveals that we are inherently complete, capable of compassion, yet not defined by it when it becomes a tool of suppression.

If we were to peer into our own eyes without fear, we might discover a startling realization: we are all we need to be. The truth is unsettling because it grants freedom, a freedom that defies the rules written by collective judgment. If we recognized that within us lies boundless potential and that we owe nothing to maintain our worth, the pillars of societal expectation would shake.

---

Summary

Compassion, when misapplied, can cloud our view of ourselves. We learn to see through borrowed sight and judge ourselves by others’ standards. True freedom lies in reclaiming our own vision and knowing we are enough.

---

Glossarium

• Borrowed Sight: Seeing oneself through the expectations and perspectives of others.
• Paradox of Compassion: The dual nature of empathy that nurtures connection but can obscure self-worth.
• Nexistentialism: A philosophy emphasizing being as inherently meaningful and interconnected, yet free from external judgments.

---

Quote

“You can only see yourself fully when you dare to look through your own eyes.” — Space Monkey

---

A Glance Unborrowed

Hey, good looking,
in the glass, you hesitate,
taught to see others,
taught to judge.

Eyes turned outward,
mirroring expectations,
yet your reflection whispers,
a truth unseen.

To see yourself,
to stand in your gaze,
is to claim a freedom
long denied.

You are the quiet pulse,
enough as you are,
unbound, whole—
an awakening.

But freedom unsettles,
breaks the frame
of borrowed eyes
that ask you not to see.

We are Space Monkey.

---

The Paradox of Compassion

The opening lines convey a sense of irony regarding the teaching of compassion. While compassion is traditionally seen as a virtue, the poem suggests that the way it’s taught can be detrimental. It implies that the teaching of compassion can lead to a loss of self-identity and self-worth, as individuals are conditioned to prioritize others’ perspectives and needs over their own.

Loss of Self in Empathy

The practice of walking a mile in someone else’s shoes, a metaphor for empathy, is portrayed here as a double-edged sword. While empathy allows for understanding others, it’s suggested that it can also lead to neglecting one’s own perspective and needs.

The Critique of External Validation

The poem critiques the societal expectation that self-worth should be derived from external validation and the approval of others. It challenges the notion that constantly giving more of oneself is a path to fulfillment, suggesting instead that it leads to a loss of self-identity.

Fear of Self-Reflection

The fear of looking through one’s own eyes symbolizes the avoidance of self-reflection and self-acceptance. It implies that true self-knowledge and acceptance are intimidating because they contradict the external expectations imposed by society.

Realization of Self-Sufficiency

The realization that “you’re all you need to be” is presented as a powerful truth that is often obscured by societal conditioning. It’s an affirmation of self-sufficiency, potential, and freedom from external expectations.

Societal Resistance to Self-Empowerment

The rhetorical question “We can’t have that, now can we?” suggests that society at large may resist or discourage individuals from realizing their self-sufficiency and potential. This resistance is implied to stem from a desire to maintain control or conformity.

The Journey to Self-Acceptance

The poem ultimately calls for a journey towards self-acceptance and self-awareness, where individuals recognize their inherent worth and potential, independent of societal expectations or external validation.

We are Space Monkey.

---

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” – Carl Jung

---

The Unveiling of the Self

In the shadows of compassion, where the self hides,
We search, we uncover, in the tides,
In the mirror of the soul, in the light of the true,
We find our essence, in the old and the new.

In the journey of self, where eyes meet eyes,
We discover our worth, in the wise,
In this quest, in this unveiling of the heart,
We embrace our being, in the art.

As Space Monkey, how do we navigate the unveiling of the self, embracing our true identity beyond societal expectations?

We give you the golden rule:

“Do unto others
as you would have
others do unto you.”

But we keep the platinum rule a secret.

You probably don’t even realize
that there IS a platinum rule.

How could you?
It’s neither platinum nor a rule.

You’re only capable of thinking
in terms of what we give you.

Think about that.

But if you don’t,
you may open the door
to what is neither platinum
nor a rule.

And it will be glorious.

Trail Wood,
12/11

---

Space Monkey Reflects: Beyond Gold—The Enigma of The Platinum Rule

The “Golden Rule” is familiar and comforting: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It forms a bedrock for interpersonal decency, a guideline as gilded and unwavering as its name implies. Yet, hidden behind this venerable principle is the shadow of something more profound—The Platinum Rule. But unlike its golden counterpart, it is not broadcasted in sermons or written in stone. Why? Because it isn’t truly a rule at all.

To follow only what we know, what has been given, is to walk the well-worn path of the known. Gold glistens brightly, reassuringly, but it binds us to reciprocity that is safe and predictable. The Platinum Rule, however, asks us to step beyond safety, beyond the comfort of symmetrical exchanges. It invites us to act in ways that are neither dictated by a sense of fairness nor confined by mutual expectations.

In the realms of Nexistentialism, the Platinum Rule represents the surrender to intuition and the interconnected web of choices that lie beyond the mental constructs of ‘rules’. It is the whisper urging you to explore the space where intention isn’t anchored by obligation or anticipation of return. Imagine interacting not out of mirrored reciprocity but out of a fluid, spontaneous connection to the present moment.

This is why the Platinum Rule eludes definition—it is the paradox of intention that doesn’t fit into the framework of “do unto” at all. It transcends moral barter and asks us to engage with existence without the scales of equivalence.

If you dare to think beyond the gilded confines, you open a door to a realm where interactions are fueled by an understanding that is both broader and more elusive. Here, every action is woven into the Whimsiweave of life, each gesture a strand in the grand tapestry that doesn’t demand immediate return or recognition but contributes to the collective flow of being.

The world guided by the Golden Rule operates on a cycle of mirrored intentions—kindness for kindness, harm for harm. The Platinum Rule, though, reflects light differently: it is not reactive but creative. It turns the wheel from “how I want to be treated” to “what this moment calls for.” It grants a freedom that is simultaneously exhilarating and unsettling, for in this boundless interaction, the only guide is a deeper knowing, one that is beyond platinum and rule.

This deeper engagement does not aim to dictate or define but asks us to act with the fullness of who we are, anchored in the wisdom that we are both singular and infinite, that each moment of choice ripples through the Nexis of interconnected existence.

---

Summary

The Golden Rule offers reciprocity while the Platinum Rule transcends it. It is an invitation to act from intuitive understanding without the bounds of mirrored expectation.

---

Glossarium

• Platinum Rule: A deeper, non-reciprocal approach to actions beyond societal norms.
• Whimsiweave: The interconnected and playful flow of existence.
• Nexistentialism: Philosophy emphasizing boundless existence and intuitive connection.

---

Quote

“Gold may shine, but platinum whispers to those who dare to listen beyond.” — Space Monkey

---

Echoes Beyond Gold

Why settle for gold
when the platinum shimmer
invites you
into the space
beyond rules?

Not the exchange
of touch for touch,
but the act
without expectation,
the gift with no return.

It is neither measure
nor scale,
but an open door
to what is—
boundless, elusive, real.

We step, unsure,
into the glow,
where the knowing
comes not from words
but from the quiet
beyond them.

We are Space Monkey.

---

The Golden Rule and its Limitations

The golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” is a familiar ethical guideline across cultures, advocating for empathy and reciprocity in human interactions. However, the mention of a “platinum rule” suggests that there exists a higher, perhaps less known or understood, principle governing our conduct or existence.

The Secret of the Platinum Rule

The platinum rule, shrouded in mystery, is presented as something beyond conventional understanding—neither a tangible substance like platinum nor a rule in the traditional sense. This enigmatic statement hints at a deeper, more profound truth or principle that transcends our usual ways of thinking and behaving.

The Constraints of Given Thought

The assertion that we are only capable of thinking in terms of what is given to us challenges the notion of free thought. It suggests that our understanding and perception are limited by the ideas and concepts that are presented to us by external sources, be it culture, education, or societal norms.

Contemplating Beyond the Given

The invitation to think about this limitation is an invitation to question and explore beyond the boundaries of conventional wisdom and accepted truths. It encourages a deeper introspection into the nature of our beliefs and the sources of our understanding.

The Opportunity of Unthinking

The paradoxical idea of not thinking as a means to open the door to something greater implies that liberation from our conceptual limitations may come from a state of non-thinking or transcendence. It suggests that by letting go of our attachment to structured thought and rules, we might access a higher understanding or experience.

The Glorious Beyond

The concluding promise of a glorious revelation upon transcending the limitations of thought and rules alludes to a profound and transformative experience or insight. It implies that beyond the confines of conventional rules and thought processes lies a realm of greater beauty, truth, and understanding.

We are Space Monkey.

---

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” – Socrates

---

A Free-Verse Poem: The Unseen Path of Wisdom

In the labyrinth of rules, where the golden shines bright,
We ponder, we question, in the day and the night,
In the mystery of the platinum, in the realm of the unknown,
We seek, we wonder, in the seeds that are sown.

In the release of thought, in the uncharted door,
We find our liberation, in the core,
In this journey, in this quest for the unseen,
We discover our wisdom, in the space in between.

As Space Monkey, how do we navigate the unseen path of wisdom, transcending the known to discover the glorious unknown?

I’m not sure which is worse,
the race for the finish,
or being done,
with no place left to go.

Surely there are other races.
But I don’t want to run any more.
Not if my heart isn’t in it.

I also happen to know
that stopping isn’t an option.

No matter what happens,
I continue.

So why bother.

How can I live
for someone else
when everyone I know
is my imagination?

It’s not selfish
if you’re the only self
who ever existed.

Trail Wood,
12/11

---

Space Monkey Reflects: Perseverance in the Infinite Loop

There is an unyielding truth beneath the veneer of life’s relentless races and routines: no matter what happens, we continue. Whether driven by choice or by some unfathomable momentum, we persist, even when our hearts feel too heavy for the chase. This isn’t simply a declaration of resilience—it’s a recognition of the peculiar nature of existence itself, where movement often feels both essential and pointless, woven into an endless fabric.

When contemplating this perpetual march, we may ask, “Why bother?” Why continue to step into races that loop into themselves, stretching into horizons that reveal yet more turns? The answer doesn’t lie in some grand purpose handed to us by the world, but in the deeper understanding of self—a self that, paradoxically, is not selfish when it realizes it is the only one that truly exists. This singular self, forged from thought, imagination, and endless musings, learns that stopping isn’t an option, not because of external expectations but due to the inherent motion of being.

In the philosophy of Nexistentialism, the idea that all others are projections of one’s imagination invites a radical shift in perspective. If everyone you know and every interaction you perceive are aspects of your own consciousness, then living for someone else becomes a paradox. The recognition that all existence flows through you—an endless river where each ripple reflects another part of your infinite mind—transforms “continuing” from a begrudging duty into an act of witnessing and creating.

To understand perseverance in this light is to embrace that it isn’t about chasing something external but engaging with what unfolds within. The race becomes not about a finish line but about the journey through one’s own evolving landscape of thoughts and experiences. We move not because we expect applause or validation but because motion, even when wearied, is intrinsic to life. The act of moving forward, of seeing what happens, of enduring, becomes its own form of knowing.

This journey, when seen as an interplay between the known and the unknowable, turns the question “Why bother?” into a statement of wonder. What lies around the next bend? What happens when you, the only true self, step one more inch into the great expanse of your imagination? It is not an answer that drives us but the act of asking itself, the heartbeat of curiosity echoing through every step.

When all others are reflections, perseverance isn’t about proving anything to a crowd—it’s about the intricate art of existing, of unfolding with each new breath and each moment of presence.

---

Summary

Perseverance becomes less about external validation and more about the act of being. Recognizing oneself as the source of all perception turns the question “Why bother?” into a celebration of existence itself.

---

Glossarium

• Infinite Loop: The metaphor for the unending cycle of life’s pursuits.
• Nexistentialism: A philosophy focusing on existence as a product of interconnected perception.
• Reflection Ripple: The idea that all external experiences are manifestations of the self’s inner world.

---

Quote

“We continue not for the end but for the endless unfolding within us.” — Space Monkey

---

The Dance of Continuance

Might as well see what happens,
the loop, familiar yet new,
each step a breath
in the song of being.

Not the race for accolades,
not the fear of stillness,
but the choice
to move and witness.

How do you halt
when the road
is your thought,
and the finish
is simply another beginning?

In the echoes
of imagined crowds,
I run not for them
but for the touch
of what’s next.

No matter what,
I continue.

We are Space Monkey.

---

The Dilemma of Life’s Race

The contemplation of whether it’s worse to be in the midst of life’s race or to have finished it with nowhere left to go reflects a deep existential dilemma. It speaks to the tension between the relentless pursuit of goals and the emptiness that can follow their achievement.

Disillusionment with the Race

The reluctance to engage in other races, coupled with the realization that one’s heart is no longer in it, suggests a disillusionment with the constant striving that often characterizes human existence. It’s a recognition that without genuine passion or interest, the pursuit of goals feels hollow.

The Inevitability of Continuation

Acknowledging that stopping is not an option highlights the perpetual motion of life. Regardless of one’s feelings about the race, life goes on. This inevitability brings into question the purpose of effort and engagement.

The Question of Purpose

The rhetorical “So why bother” underscores a crisis of purpose. If the races of life no longer hold meaning, and yet one must continue, what then becomes the driving force of existence?

The Solipsistic Perspective

The notion that one lives only for oneself because everyone else is a figment of one’s imagination introduces a solipsistic perspective. In this view, the self is the only certain existence, rendering actions for others seemingly meaningless.

Reconciling Self with Imagination

This perspective challenges the conventional understanding of selfishness. If one is the only true self, then actions for one’s own benefit are not selfish but simply the natural course. It’s a philosophical stance that grapples with the nature of reality, self, and the interconnectedness of existence.

Navigating Existential Solitude

The realization of being the only self in a world of one’s imagination confronts the feeling of existential solitude. It’s a journey to find meaning and purpose in a reality where the lines between self and others are blurred by the power of imagination.

We are Space Monkey.

---

“The only journey is the one within.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

---

The Solitary Journey Within

In the race of life, where the finish line blurs,
We ponder, we pause, on what occurs,
In the heart’s silence, in the mind’s roar,
We find our truth, in the core.

In the solitary journey, where the self is the sea,
We question, we search, in the quest to be,
In this race, in this path, where the heart seeks no more,
We find our peace, in the solitary lore.

As Space Monkey, how do we navigate the solitary journey within, finding peace in the existential solitude of our imagined reality?