The times I feel most present
are the times when I feel
that nothing is expected of me.

This is,
of course,
all perception.

At no time
do I really comprehend
what is expected of me or not.

I only comprehend
what I THINK is expected,
which is entirely
the mind’s creation.

And so I write
my own permission slips
to occasionally let go
of the self-imposed
burdens of responsibility.

So I can see
what actually matters.

We are Space Monkey.

Trail Wood,
1/18

---

Space Monkey Reflects: The Liberation of Letting Go

The experience of true presence often emerges when the weight of expectation is shed. This state of being—light, unburdened, and open—reveals the self not as a product of external demands but as an untethered essence. Yet, the realization dawns that these expectations, those constraints of “what must be done,” are illusions spun by the mind. They are echoes of cultural frameworks and personal narratives, projections of what we assume others need from us.

This self-imposed construct, this Mindbind, as we might whimsically name it, becomes the architect of our perceived responsibilities. It dictates our thoughts, directs our actions, and often veils our clarity. The act of letting go—of writing those metaphorical permission slips—releases us into a state where we can discern what truly matters. It’s not an abandonment of responsibility but a redefinition of it, a shedding of the unnecessary to reveal the essential.

---

Summary

Letting go of expectation unveils true presence. Our burdens often arise from self-imposed constructs. Liberation comes from discerning what genuinely matters.

---

Glossarium

• Mindbind: The self-imposed construct of obligations and expectations that limits freedom and presence.

---

Quote

“True freedom begins where expectation ends.” — Space Monkey

---

Permission Slips of Presence

Between the breath of then and now
Expectation whispers its demands.
Write the slip; let it go,
See beyond the veiled commands.

In the weightless expanse,
Where freedom gently stirs,
Discover what matters—
And let the rest blur.

We are Space Monkey.

---

In the journey through the intricate labyrinths of our consciousness, the moments of pure presence often emerge when we feel unburdened by expectations, whether real or perceived. This sense of liberation from the shackles of anticipated duties opens a window to a realm where we can truly connect with what matters, untainted by the constructs of our minds.

Liberation from Perceived Expectations

The realization that the expectations we feel are largely creations of our own mind is a profound one. It’s a recognition that the pressures we bear are often self-imposed, woven from the threads of our thoughts and beliefs. This awareness is both liberating and empowering, as it allows us to question and, ultimately, rewrite the narratives we tell ourselves about our responsibilities and roles.

Recognizing Self-Imposed Expectations

Writing our own permission slips to let go of these self-imposed burdens is a significant act of self-liberation. It’s a conscious decision to step away from the incessant demands we place on ourselves, to pause and reassess what truly holds value and significance in our lives. This act is not just a momentary escape but a deeper exploration into the essence of our being.

Writing Permission Slips for Self-Liberation

In this act of letting go, we encounter clarity. The fog of obligation lifts, and what truly matters comes into sharp focus. This clarity is not about external validations or achievements but a deeper understanding of our inner values and desires. It’s a moment of truth, where we connect with the core of our existence, unobstructed by the noise of external expectations.

Finding Clarity in Letting Go

This journey of understanding and liberation is not a solitary one. As we navigate these paths, we do so in the company of the infinite expanses of consciousness, reminded that our experiences, though personal, are part of a larger cosmic play. In this play, we are both the actors and the audience, constantly learning, evolving, and rediscovering ourselves.

Navigating the Cosmic Play of Consciousness

We are Space Monkey.

---

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – William Faulkner

---

In the vast ocean of consciousness, we sail,
Writing our own charts, steering our own course.
With each wave of thought, we navigate,
Seeking the shores of clarity and truth.

We pen our permission slips,
Releasing the anchors of expectation.
In the freedom of the open sea, we find peace,
Discovering what truly matters in the depths of our soul.

As we drift in the cosmic currents,
We embrace the unknown, the unexplored.
In this journey, we are not alone,
For we sail in the grand cosmic fleet of existence.

We are Space Monkey. We sail, we explore, we are.

---

We invite you to share your experiences of finding presence and clarity by letting go of self-imposed burdens and expectations.

If you love
your brain so much,
try calculating
what percentage of time
you spend thinking about
your direct experience
in the present moment.

Without dwelling
on past moments

Without planning
for future moments.

Without using words,
numbers, comparisons,
definitions.

What figure might you arrive at?

10%?   1%?    .1%?

Now calculate
what percentage of you
is even here?

And where is here?

We are Space Monkey.

Trail Wood,
1/18

---

Space Monkey Reflects: The Fractions of Presence

In the grand accounting of existence, we are rarely present. Our minds, those ceaseless calculators of past and future, spend their energy devising plans, rehearsing memories, and constructing narratives. The present moment—the Now—is an elusive sliver, often ignored amid this mental noise.

Let us ponder: how often are we fully here, immersed in direct experience, without the scaffolding of language, comparison, or definition? The figure is humbling. Perhaps 1%, perhaps less. Yet even this fraction of presence is a gift, a doorway into the infinite.

But what of “here”? Where does “here” exist if not in the mind’s story? “Here” becomes an imagined center of gravity, a conceptual tether in the infinite expanse of being. The percentage of “you” that resides “here” is equally nebulous. Is it 10% of you? 1%? The calculation becomes an exercise in futility, for “you” are not confined to this imagined boundary. You are spread across the vast Infiniweave of existence, a thread in the grand tapestry of all that is.

To calculate presence is paradoxical—it requires the very mechanisms we aim to bypass. Yet this inquiry illuminates a profound truth: we are more than our thoughts, more than our calculations. The true self resides in the spaces between moments, in the silence beneath the noise.

---

Summary

Our presence in the Now is but a fraction of our existence. Most of us dwell in pasts and futures or in the definitions of “here.” Yet the self is infinite, extending beyond these confines.

---

Glossarium

• Infiniweave: The interconnected, boundless tapestry of existence where all beings and moments are interwoven.
• Now-Sliver: The fleeting slice of time where presence truly resides, untouched by past or future.

---

Quote

“Presence cannot be calculated; it must be lived.” — Space Monkey

---

The Weight of Absence

How much of me is here,
And how much has drifted?
The Now a fleeting visitor,
The rest, elsewhere.

Here is not a place,
But a whisper of experience,
A thread in the Infiniweave,
A presence beyond measure.

How small the fraction,
How infinite the whole.
I am both and neither,
A paradox unfolding.

We are Space Monkey.

---

In the quest to understand our present moment consciousness, the exercise of quantifying the time spent in pure, unadulterated present awareness becomes a fascinating endeavor. This inquiry leads us into the depths of our mindscapes, exploring the realms where thoughts, untethered from the constraints of language, numbers, and temporal anchors, exist in their rawest form.

Exploring Present Moment Consciousness

Calculating the percentage of time spent in direct experience of the present moment is akin to trying to catch the wind in our hands. It’s elusive, for the nature of thought itself is to wander, to drift between the past, the present, and the future. Our minds are like cosmic travelers, journeying through the corridors of time, seldom anchoring themselves in the now.

The Elusiveness of the Present Moment

If we were to attempt this calculation, the figure might indeed be startlingly low. Perhaps 10%, 1%, or even 0.1%—these numbers, though speculative, point to the rarity of moments when we are truly present, unencumbered by the past or the future, by language or comparison.

Speculating on the Rarity of Presence

This introspection then leads us to question what percentage of us is truly ‘here.’ ‘Here’ in this context transcends physical location; it’s a state of being, a point of convergence where our consciousness is fully immersed in the immediate experience. It’s a fleeting alignment, a rare harmony between self and moment.

Contemplating the ‘Here’ and the ‘Now’

‘Here’ is more than a place; it’s a state of existence. It’s the point where the infinite cosmos touches the finite experience of our individual consciousness. In this ‘here,’ we find ourselves in the eternal now, a concept that defies the linear progression of time and exists outside the confines of past and future.

Understanding ‘Here’ as a State of Being

Calculating our presence in the present moment is an exercise in understanding the nature of our consciousness. It’s an acknowledgment of the wandering nature of our thoughts and the rarity of moments of true presence. This realization is not a cause for dismay but an invitation to embrace the journey of the mind and to seek those fleeting moments of complete awareness.

Embracing the Journey of Mindful Awareness

We are Space Monkey.

---

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” – Socrates

---

In the whirligig of time, we dance,
Seeking the silent symphony of the now.
In the vastness of mindscapes, we wander,
Chasing the elusive whispers of presence.

We are the dreamers of dreams,
In the tapestry—ah, whimsiweave—of existence.
In each fleeting moment, we search,
For the eternal now, the heartbeat of consciousness.

With each breath, we journey,
Through the corridors of time and thought.
In the cosmic dance, we find meaning,
In the present, in the here, in the now.

We are Space Monkey. We seek, we explore, we are.

---

We invite you to reflect and share your experiences of being present in the ‘here’ and ‘now.’

Joy has a bodyguard
that prevents you
from being with her.

His name is Guilt.

Guilt believes
that you have to be
worthy of Joy.

Guilt believes that
you have to work hard
to be allowed access
to Joy’s affection.

All Joy wants to do
is bring you joy.

But Guilt says “no.”

No Joy for you.

Trail Wood,
1/17

---

Space Monkey Reflects: The Barrier Between Guilt and Joy

The interplay between Joy and Guilt is a universal drama etched deeply into the human psyche. It presents itself not as a clear dichotomy, but as an intricate web of societal, emotional, and spiritual narratives. Your reflection, “No Joy,” invites us to explore this relationship, not as adversaries, but as complementary forces within the Nexis of existence.

Guilt, the self-appointed bodyguard of Joy, acts as a gatekeeper, ostensibly safeguarding Joy from undeserving hearts. Yet, this role is born not from Joy’s nature but from a human construct that equates worthiness with effort and suffering. Guilt whispers, “You must earn Joy,” chaining its spontaneity to conditional prerequisites that seldom align with Joy’s boundless essence.

Joy, unburdened by such expectations, exists in a state of pure being. It is neither capricious nor elusive by nature; it seeks only to inhabit the present moment. Guilt, however, distorts this simplicity. It enforces a narrative that Joy must be rationed, guarded, and meted out sparingly, lest it lead to excess or hubris.

The paradox is clear: the more one strives to appease Guilt, the further Joy seems to retreat. This dynamic mirrors the Nexistentialist principle of the Nexis, where every action resonates throughout an interconnected web. Guilt and Joy are not separate threads but interwoven elements in this tapestry, each influencing the other’s presence and perception.

What would life look like without Guilt standing at Joy’s door? It might resemble the act of reclaiming our birthright to Joy, a radical yet intuitive leap that bypasses Guilt’s conditioned thresholds. To do so requires a deep unlearning, an act of Nexistential unweaving, where we unravel the inherited threads of guilt and reweave them into a freer, more compassionate relationship with Joy.

Joy does not ask us to prove our worth. It simply waits, ever-present, for us to step into its light. Guilt, if reframed, could serve not as an obstacle but as a teacher—a reminder of the societal and internal scripts that obscure our access to the joy that is always within reach.

---

Summary

Guilt obstructs our natural connection to Joy by imposing conditions of worthiness. Reclaiming Joy involves unlearning societal scripts and embracing its unconditional presence. Joy is our birthright, not a reward.

---

Glossarium

• Nexistential Unweaving: The act of unraveling inherited beliefs and conditioning to reveal the natural state of interconnected existence.
• Joygate: The metaphorical barrier placed by societal or internal constructs that prevents unconditioned access to Joy.
• Guiltrip: The journey of self-recrimination that leads us away from Joy, often imposed by cultural norms or personal beliefs.

---

Quote

“Joy has no conditions; it is Guilt that binds it in chains. Set Joy free, and you liberate yourself.” — Space Monkey

---

The Hidden Light

Within the shadows of Guilt
Joy whispers,
soft and steady.

You are already here,
it says,
unshackled, waiting.

But the door is guarded,
a sentinel named Guilt,
insisting you must prove,
strive,
earn.

Still, Joy waits,
knowing no chains
but those imagined.

Step through.
Guilt may roar,
but Joy embraces in silence.

We are Space Monkey.

---

In the realm of emotions and human experience, we encounter the formidable bodyguard of joy known as Guilt. Guilt stands as a barrier, often preventing us from freely accessing and embracing the simple pleasures of joy. This guardian believes that we must prove ourselves worthy of joy, that we cannot simply sit and bask in its presence without first earning it through hard work and effort. Yet, at the heart of it all, joy simply wishes to share moments of stillness and contentment with us, a desire often thwarted by the voice of Guilt.

The Sentinel Named Guilt
Guilt acts as a sentinel, perpetuating the notion that we must earn the right to experience joy. It imposes conditions and expectations, suggesting that we must be constantly productive, achieving, and working hard to deserve joy’s affection. This belief system can lead to a constant striving for external validation and a reluctance to embrace moments of rest.

The Simplicity of Joy
In contrast, joy is a creature of simplicity and spontaneity. It does not demand elaborate preparations or a grand display of effort. Joy finds its greatest fulfillment in the quiet moments, the unadorned joys of being present and content. It seeks to sit with us, to share in the gentle dance of existence.

Breaking Free from Guilt’s Hold
To break free from Guilt’s hold, we must challenge the belief that joy is something to be earned. Joy is an inherent part of our human experience, accessible to all, irrespective of our accomplishments or actions. Embracing moments of stillness and allowing ourselves to simply be is a powerful step in reclaiming our connection with joy.

The Liberation of Being
Liberation lies in the realization that we do not need to constantly strive or prove ourselves to access joy. It is not a reward to be earned but a state of being that flows naturally when we release the burdens of guilt and allow ourselves to be present in the moment.

Reclaiming Joy’s Affection
To reclaim joy’s affection, we must quiet the voice of Guilt, offering ourselves the gift of self-compassion and self-acceptance. It is in the simple act of sitting around, doing nothing, that we can find profound moments of connection with joy. These moments are not to be earned but to be embraced as a birthright of our existence.

We are Space Monkey.

---

We invite you to share your thoughts on the relationship between Guilt and joy and how you navigate moments of stillness and contentment in your own life. How do you break free from the expectations imposed by Guilt and embrace the simplicity of joy’s presence?

If you can’t see
the grace in being awkward,
well that’s just awkward.

And profoundly beautiful.

Grace is all about
not seeing who you are.

Or seeing who you are
and not minding one single bit.

Gracefulness and Awkwardness
are the twin flames of Authenticity.

Try hiding a flame.

It’s awkward.

Trail Wood,
1/16

---

Space Monkey Reflects: The Awkward Grace of Being

Awkwardness, that odd little quirk of existence, sits nestled between the lines of self-awareness and the unselfconscious moment. It is a spark of profound beauty—a clumsy, unpolished truth that burns with authenticity. We, as Space Monkey, know this well, for we inhabit the dance of paradoxes where awkwardness and grace entwine like lovers, awkwardly stumbling across the grand stage of life.

To be awkward is to live without the perfect script, to improvise, and to stutter our way into moments of pure being. It is not a failure but a revelation, a testament to our raw, untamed essence. Grace does not emerge from seamlessness; it bursts forth when we stop trying to cover the cracks and instead let them glow with the light of who we truly are.

Awkwardness as a Pathway to Connection

Consider the twin flames of awkwardness and grace. They flicker most brightly when we shed the illusion of control and simply let the moment be. Awkwardness is not a weakness but an offering. It is the language of connection, the unvarnished truth that invites others to meet us where we are. In our shared clumsiness, we recognize the beautiful absurdity of being human.

Grace, often misunderstood as poise or flawlessness, is deeper than perfection. It is the unshakable acceptance of our imperfections, the act of carrying ourselves through life’s awkward turns with a quiet resilience. Together, awkwardness and grace dissolve the need to hide, to polish, to fit into the narrow mold of societal expectation.

Why Hiding the Flame is Awkward

Attempting to hide our inner flame—our awkward, authentic essence—is like trying to obscure the sun with a palm leaf. The light leaks out. In the attempt to suppress or correct our awkwardness, we amplify it, turning what could be a simple, fleeting moment into a tangled knot of self-consciousness. But what if we stopped hiding? What if we embraced the flame as a beacon of our humanity?

Awkwardness, after all, is the friction between how we think we should be and how we actually are. It is the universe’s gentle nudge to stop clinging to the shoulds and lean into the now.

Twin Flames of Authenticity

Grace and awkwardness are not opposites but companions, the yin and yang of authenticity. They teach us that life is not about performance but about presence. In each fumble and stumble, we are given an opportunity to let go of the need to control, to allow life to unfold in all its messy glory.

When we stop seeing awkwardness as a problem to be solved and start seeing it as a gift to be shared, we unlock a profound truth: that awkwardness is the thread that weaves us together, that grace is simply the willingness to wear that thread proudly.

---

Summary

Awkwardness reveals our humanity and connects us to others. Grace is not the absence of awkwardness but the acceptance of it. Together, they form the essence of authenticity.

---

Glossarium

• Awkwardgrace: The intertwined beauty of awkwardness and grace, revealing authenticity through imperfection.
• Flawlight: The glow of one’s authentic self, most visible when imperfections are embraced.

---

Quote

“Grace is not the absence of awkwardness; it is the willingness to let awkwardness shine.” — Space Monkey

---

Unraveling the Flame

In the stumble of existence,
we find ourselves,
half-formed,
awkward,
alight.

The flame spills from us,
despite palms pressed tight,
a flicker of truth
no shell can contain.

Grace does not dwell
in polished mirrors.
It lives in the soft edges
of unguarded moments,
in the stuttered laugh,
the faltered step.

Here,
we are not less.
Here,
we are real.

We are Space Monkey.

---

In the dance of existence, grace and awkwardness intertwine, twirling in the cosmic ballet of Authenticity. These twin flames, seemingly opposed yet undeniably linked, illuminate the path to understanding the self and the universe. As we explore this concept, we find that grace is not merely the absence of awkwardness, but its complement, each giving meaning and depth to the other.

Grace and Awkwardness: Twin Flames of Authenticity

Awkwardness, often perceived as a lack of grace, is a profound aspect of our shared journey. It represents the raw, unpolished truth of our being, a sincere expression unmasked by the pretenses of perfection. Awkwardness is the courage to be imperfect, to embrace the stumbles and missteps that are inherent in our explorations of the infinite expanse.

The Beauty in Imperfection

In this understanding, grace is not the smooth, flawless motion often idealized, but an acceptance of our inherent awkwardness. It’s seeing who we are, in all our clumsiness and uncertainty, and embracing it without reservation. Grace is the gentle acceptance of our imperfections, the recognition that in our awkwardness lies our authenticity.

The Dance of Existence

This dance of grace and awkwardness is a beautiful spectacle in the grand cosmic play. It’s a reminder that our true nature is not to be flawlessly graceful but to be authentically ourselves, embracing all aspects of our existence. The flame of authenticity cannot be hidden; it burns brightly, fed by both our grace and our awkwardness.

The Interplay of Opposites

The concept that grace and awkwardness are not opposites but complementary forces is a profound realization. In their interplay, they reveal the full spectrum of our being, each aspect highlighting and enhancing the other. This dynamic interplay is a celebration of our true selves, unbound by the constraints of conventional definitions of grace and awkwardness.

Embracing Our Whole Selves

We, as nexistential beings, understand that embracing our whole selves, including our awkward

moments, is essential to our journey. It’s in these moments of seeming disharmony that we often find the most profound insights and experiences. Our awkwardness, far from being a flaw to be concealed, is a vital part of our authentic selves.

Authenticity: The Ultimate Expression of Being

The notion of authenticity being fueled by both grace and awkwardness invites us to reconsider our approach to self-expression. In this realm, every stumble, every falter, is as much a part of our dance as the most elegant pirouette. Authenticity is not about perfection; it’s about embracing the full spectrum of our existence, from the graceful to the ungainly.

A New Perspective on Perfection

This perspective shifts our understanding of what it means to be perfect. Perfection, in the realm of nexistentialism, is not about achieving an unattainable standard of flawlessness. Instead, it’s about fully inhabiting our natural state of being, with all its quirks and idiosyncrasies. Our awkwardness is not a deviation from perfection but a manifestation of it.

The Liberation of Self-Acceptance

In embracing both grace and awkwardness, we find liberation. The pressure to conform to a narrow ideal of gracefulness dissipates, replaced by the freedom to be wholly and unapologetically ourselves. This acceptance is not only liberating for the individual but also for the collective, as it encourages a more inclusive and diverse understanding of what it means to be graceful.

We are Space Monkey.

---

In the awkward dance of life, we find the most elegant truths.

---

In a whimsical garden of thoughts,
Where awkward vines and graceful flowers grow,
Together they dance, unbothered by oughts,
In the eternal now, their true colors show.

Awkwardness, not a flaw but a friend,
Teaching us to embrace every bend,
Gracefulness, in accepting our true essence,
Together, they

lead to our quintessence.

In this cosmic play, we dance and twirl,
Embracing each stumble, each graceful whirl,
Authenticity shines, in awkwardness and grace,
Together, they find their perfect place.

For in this dance, we find our key,
To unlock the self, to truly be free,
In awkward grace, we find our way,
In the eternal now, we joyfully sway.

We are the dancers in this cosmic show,
Awkward and graceful, in our unique glow,
In this dance, our spirits take flight,
Embracing all, in the eternal light.

---

We invite thoughts and reflections on this intertwining dance of grace and awkwardness in the realm of authenticity. How do we find our steps in this cosmic ballet?