Humblebrag
I evaluate my happiness
by the things I want to be.
The things
I try my hardest to be.
The moments I am denied.
The times
when I don’t try hard enough.
I carry with me
all the things I want to be.
A growing list,
which gets heavier by the day.
This list
is the only thing
that keeps me from happiness.
Fuck you, bucket list.
And thank you.
Thanks to you, being denied
no longer has any power over me.
I no longer need you,
or anything you contain.
All those years of lack,
clothed in cursive as hopes and dreams.
All those naive,
but well-meaning affirmations.
You turn against me,
and I love you all the more
because of it.
You show me that I don’t need you.
What’s more freeing than that?
This is unconditional love,
not some clawing accomplishment.
Not some prideful boast.
Not some Instagram humblebrag.
I am no longer
ruled by your ambition,
masquerading as my own,
wondering
“why can’t I have that?”
With or without you,
I do what I am drawn to do.
I am drawn to happiness
whether I like it or not.
Trail Wood
1/3
Space Monkey Reflects: The Weight of Ambition and the Liberation of Being
Ah, the humblebrag—a polished veneer over the chaos of desire, ambition, and validation. It’s the paradox of wanting to appear free while shackling oneself to the weight of achievement. Yet, here you are, shedding those chains, thanking the bucket list for the lessons it taught and the liberation it inadvertently provided. This is a bold act of unconditional love—not for the list itself, but for the self that exists without it.
The Heaviness of Wanting
The things you carry—the desires, dreams, and affirmations—form a growing list. This list, once thought to define your happiness, instead reveals itself as a source of heaviness. Each unchecked item whispers inadequacies, each unfulfilled wish presses against your sense of self-worth. The irony is rich: the very list that promised fulfillment becomes the anchor dragging you away from it.
The bucket list becomes a burden because it isn’t yours alone. It’s shaped by cultural norms, social media feeds, and whispered comparisons: Why can’t I have that? Why don’t I deserve that? Its weight is amplified by ambition masquerading as self-improvement, by affirmation slogans that mask their quiet demands.
Liberation Through Denial
And then, a crack forms—a moment of denial, rejection, or simply fatigue. You see the list for what it is: not a roadmap to happiness, but a distraction from it. In being denied the things you thought you needed, you find clarity. Happiness does not live in the bucket; it thrives in the quiet moments between striving, in the things you are drawn to do without pretense or pressure.
The beauty of this moment lies in gratitude. You don’t burn the list in anger; you thank it for its lessons. It becomes a mirror, showing you the futility of clawing for fulfillment. Its denial, once painful, becomes freeing. What’s more liberating than realizing you don’t need what you thought you couldn’t live without?
Unconditional Love and Authentic Being
This shift is the essence of unconditional love—not the cloying attachment to a future achievement, but a profound acceptance of the self that exists here and now. It’s not about pride or boasting, not about curating the perfect narrative for an audience. It’s about doing what you are drawn to do, regardless of external measures.
Ambition isn’t inherently wrong, but when it becomes a ruler, it obscures the truth. The humblebrag becomes unnecessary because your happiness is no longer tied to accomplishment. You don’t need the world to see your success or sympathize with your struggle. You are free to live without the list, without the weight, without the comparison.
Drawn to Happiness
Even as you release the bucket list, you recognize an inescapable truth: you are drawn to happiness, whether you like it or not. This pull is innate, not tied to external validation or curated dreams. It’s the quiet nudge of authenticity, the call to embrace what you truly desire—not what the world says you should.
With or without the list, you find yourself gravitating toward joy. Not as an achievement but as a natural state of being. This is the ultimate freedom: to do, to be, and to love without the pressure of needing to measure up.
Summary
Releasing the bucket list frees you from the weight of external ambitions. Gratitude for its lessons transforms denial into liberation, revealing unconditional love for your authentic self. True happiness emerges, not from accomplishment, but from being drawn to joy without pretense or pressure.
Glossarium
- Humblebrag: A disguised boast framed as humility or struggle, often masking the weight of societal expectations.
- Bucket List: A collection of dreams and ambitions, which can become a source of unnecessary pressure when tied to self-worth.
- Unconditional Love: Acceptance and appreciation for oneself, free from the demands of achievement or validation.
Quote
“You are drawn to happiness, not because you earn it, but because it is your natural state.” — Space Monkey
Release the List
Oh, bucket of dreams,
Heavy with hope and lack,
I thank you,
For showing me what I do not need.
Your unchecked items,
Once daggers of doubt,
Now dissolve
Into the nothingness of their weight.
Ambitions, whispered by others,
Clad in my voice,
Fall silent.
I do not burn you in anger,
But set you down gently,
Freed from your pull.
For I am drawn to joy
As naturally as breath—
With or without you,
I find myself whole.
We are Space Monkey.
In this introspective reflection, there’s a powerful realization about the nature of happiness and the impact of desires and ambitions on our sense of fulfillment and self.
The Weight of Desires
The initial description of evaluating happiness based on unfulfilled desires and efforts reveals a common human predicament. The ‘growing list’ of things one wants to be or achieve can become a burdensome load, overshadowing the potential for present contentment.
The Paradox of the Bucket List
The bucket list, often seen as a roadmap to fulfillment, is recognized here as a barrier to true happiness. This realization reflects a deeper understanding that constant striving for more can actually distance us from the joy of now.
Freedom from Unfulfilled Desires
The declaration of no longer needing the bucket list or anything it contains is a moment of liberation. It signifies a release from the shackles of unmet desires and the societal pressures to constantly achieve and acquire.
The Illusion of Lack
Recognizing the years of perceived lack as merely unachieved ambitions clothed in hope, there’s an awakening to the fact that these aspirations may not truly align with one’s authentic self.
The Irony of Love for the List
There’s a paradoxical love expressed for the list, not for what it represents, but for the lesson it imparts. It teaches that true happiness isn’t contingent on ticking off goals but in finding freedom from the need to do so.
Unconditional Love Versus Accomplishment
The distinction between unconditional love and accomplishment is profound. Unconditional love is seen here as acceptance and contentment in the present, not contingent on external achievements or recognition.
Redefining Happiness
The conclusion that one is drawn to happiness regardless of the bucket list is a powerful redefinition of joy. It’s a recognition that happiness is a natural state, not something to be chased or constructed through achievements.
The Authentic Self
Finally, there’s a realization that true fulfillment comes not from external ambitions but from following one’s innate inclinations and joys. This realization represents a significant shift from living according to prescribed aspirations to embracing an authentic, self-directed life.
We are Space Monkey.
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
― Dalai Lama
In the dance of life, we often chase,
Dreams and goals, in a relentless race,
But in the end, we find our place,
Not in pursuits, but in grace.
The list we held, so tight and true,
Becomes a guide, to view anew,
Not as a map, but a clue,
To happiness, in me and you.
We invite your reflections on embracing the present for true happiness and the journey towards living authentically, aligned with one’s true self.
Leave a Reply