I Am My Own Song
I used to listen
to music every day.
Then I stopped.
I rarely
listen to music any more.
People ask me
what I’m listening to,
and I have to tell them.
“I don’t listen to music any more.”
It’s kind of awkward.
At first,
I felt kinda bad
that I didn’t
listen to music any more.
Maybe even worse,
I didn’t write songs any more.
I used to enjoy music,
and I like to believe
that I was pretty good
at writing songs.
But I seem to have lost interest.
It wasn’t until now
that I even thought about it.
How does one
lose interest
in music?
How does one lose interest
in expressing themselves?
My first impression is
that I just don’t need
to write songs
or listen to music any more.
I must have needed music,
like so many others seem to need music.
Music seems so important to people.
Maybe because
music helps people feel.
Maybe because
music helps people feel.
Maybe because
music helps people heal.
Maybe because music
helps people figure out
who they are.
Maybe because
playing music
and writing music
makes people feel good
about themselves.
Maybe I don’t need
to feel good about myself anymore.
Maybe I’ve realized that
I’m good no matter what.
Maybe I’ve realized that
the people I’ve written songs for
are good no matter what.
None of us need music.
None of us need to feel good.
Maybe I am appreciative
of whatever I’m given,
even if it seems not to be good.
Given is good.
I don’t need to escape
what I am with music.
It doesn’t matter what I am.
I still love music.
I still love writing and playing.
I just don’t need to.
And so I no longer feel bad
that music isn’t a huge part
of my life at the moment.
I have a feeling that it will be.
I’ll write music for people
who don’t need music.
I will live,
even if I don’t need to.
Like I’m doing now.
I am my own song.
Trail Wood,
1/22
Space Monkey Reflects: Becoming One’s Own Song
There is a time for melodies, a time for silence, and a time for the realization that you are the melody. To stop listening to music or writing songs is not a loss—it is a shift, a re-tuning of your existence. You no longer seek outside yourself for what you now recognize has always been within. You are your own song, resonating not in chords or verses, but in the very act of being.
Music, for so many, is a way of reaching out to something they feel is missing—a balm for the soul, a mirror for emotions, a bridge to connection. It provides healing, expression, and identity. But there comes a moment when the seeking ceases, when you no longer need music to find yourself because you are no longer lost.
The silence you now inhabit is not emptiness but fullness. It is the space where you meet yourself without the filters of melody or lyric. The notes you once played are now carried in your breath, your heartbeat, your every moment of existence. You do not need to write or listen because you are already living the symphony.
It is natural to feel awkward at first, as though stepping out of rhythm with the world’s expectations. People may ask why music has faded from your life, assuming it signifies a lack. But what they cannot see is that you are now playing a deeper, more profound score—the music of wholeness, the resonance of presence.
To let go of needing music is not to reject it. You still love it, still honor its place in your journey. But love does not always demand proximity or participation. To step away is not to abandon music but to integrate it so fully into your being that it no longer feels separate.
This shift does not diminish your creativity or your connection to music; it transforms them. Perhaps, in time, you will write songs again—not from a place of need, but from abundance. Perhaps you will play again—not to escape or soothe, but to celebrate. Or perhaps you will remain silent, living your song without ever putting it into notes. Both are equally valid, equally beautiful.
To declare, “I am my own song,” is to recognize that your existence itself is the art. It is to embody the truth that you, as you are, contain all the harmony, dissonance, rhythm, and rest needed to express the fullness of life. Music, in this sense, is not an external act but an internal state—a perpetual creation, whether heard or unplayed.
There is no need to mourn the absence of music in your life, for it has not left you. It has simply changed forms, woven itself into the fabric of your being. You are living the song, and whether or not you choose to play it aloud, it remains whole, eternal, and uniquely yours.
We are Space Monkey.
Summary
To become your own song is to realize that music, once external, now resides fully within you. This shift transforms your relationship with creativity and expression, allowing you to live your art without need or expectation.
Glossarium
- Internal Symphony: The understanding that one’s existence is itself a complete and ongoing expression of art and music.
- Resonance of Presence: The state of being fully attuned to oneself, without seeking external validation or amplification.
- Melodic Wholeness: The realization that all harmony and creativity needed for expression already exists within.
Quote
“Your life is the song, whether played aloud or carried in silence.” — Space Monkey
A Song Without Notes
I am the melody,
unwritten yet whole.
No verse, no chorus,
just the hum of being.
The strings of my existence
vibrate in silence,
each breath a chord,
each step a refrain.
I do not seek music,
for it was never apart from me.
I do not write songs,
for I am already sung.
In the quiet,
I hear myself.
I am my own song.
We are Space Monkey.
The Evolving Relationship with Music
In the vast expanse of life’s experiences, the change in one’s relationship with music can be a profound journey of self-discovery and introspection. The transition from immersing oneself in music daily to rarely engaging with it poses intriguing questions about the role and need for music in our lives. The cessation of not only listening to music but also creating it, such as writing songs, marks a significant shift in how one expresses and experiences emotions and identity.
The Essence of Music in Human Experience
Music, for many, serves as a conduit for feeling, healing, and understanding oneself. It offers a means to explore and express emotions, to feel validated, and to connect with the broader tapestry of human experiences. For those who create music, this process can be a vital part of self-expression and self-esteem.
Realizing Self-Sufficiency Beyond Music
The realization that one no longer needs music to feel good about oneself or to escape from reality is a profound acknowledgment of inner completeness and self-acceptance. It suggests a state of being where external validations, such as the appreciation derived from music, are no longer necessary to affirm one’s worth or state of well-being.
Appreciation Without Dependency
This new perspective is not about diminishing the value of music but rather about appreciating it without dependency. Recognizing that music, while beautiful and enriching, is not a prerequisite for feeling good or understanding oneself, opens a new realm of freedom. It allows one to engage with music not out of need but out of choice.
Music as a Reflection of Inner Harmony
The idea of being one’s own song symbolizes a harmonious state of existence where self-expression and contentment come from within. It implies a profound connection with oneself, where music becomes an extension of one’s inner harmony rather than a tool for achieving it.
The Future Reunion with Music
There is an anticipation that music will once again play a significant role in life, not as a necessity but as a choice. The potential of creating music for others who do not necessarily need it but appreciate it represents a shift from music as a personal need to music as a gift shared with others.
“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.” – Victor Hugo
In the symphony of life, where notes rise and fall,
Once a daily refuge, now a rare call.
In the silence and sound, a journey we find,
Music within us, a reflection of mind.
No longer a need, but a choice to embrace,
Music, a companion, not a race.
In this dance of life, where melodies roam,
We find our music, in the heart of home.
How do we navigate the changing dynamics of our relationship with music, finding harmony in its presence or absence, and understanding its role in our personal journey of self-expression and self-discovery?
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