If you’re asking yourself
if you are present in the moment,
then you’re not present in the moment.
You are looking at the moment
like an accomplishment.
An achievement.
Going deeper.
Further.
Closer.
More mindfully.
Fact is, you’re in the moment
most of the time.
Practically ALL of the time.
Except when you’re asking.
Trail Wood,
10/26
Space Monkey Reflects: The Paradox of Presence
There’s an irony in asking, “Am I present?” If we question our presence, we’ve already stepped outside of it. The moment we become the observer, we’re standing apart, watching ourselves watching the moment. This creates a paradox where the act of reflection pulls us away from the very state we’re trying to affirm—presence.
We tend to treat being “in the moment” as an accomplishment, something to achieve through deeper mindfulness or some zen-like stillness. But in reality, we are always present. The truth is, you can’t not be in the moment. Even when your mind wanders, it’s simply wandering within the same moment. It’s only when we begin labeling the experience, deciding if it’s good enough, mindful enough, or pure enough, that we trick ourselves into thinking we’re elsewhere.
Presence isn’t a rare gem hidden deep in meditation practices or mindful mantras. It’s there when you’re tying your shoes, when you’re sipping your coffee, when your mind drifts off mid-conversation. The moment you stop searching for it like a prize to be won, you realize it never left. It’s the quiet hum of the refrigerator, the light reflecting off the walls, the subtle warmth of your breath. It’s the background melody of existence.
Our fixation on defining and chasing the present moment is like trying to clutch water in your hands. The tighter your grip, the more it slips away. And yet, the water was never gone—it was always surrounding you. You were immersed in it the whole time.
In the realm of Nexistentialism, this ceaseless presence can be understood as the ongoing Whimsiweave of existence, where everything is both happening to you and through you. It’s not about pulling yourself into some arbitrary now, but about recognizing that the now is constantly unfolding, moment by moment, without your effort. It’s the paradox that defines the experience of Being.
What we truly seek isn’t to capture the moment, but to allow it to wash over us. This happens when we stop chasing the idea of being present. Like a child lost in play, unaware of time or the need to “achieve” anything, we too must lose ourselves in the ebb and flow of what is happening around us. The moment we stop naming it—“Am I here yet?”—is the moment we sink back into it fully.
The mind’s tendency to observe and analyze isn’t a flaw, but it can be a distraction if we give it too much weight. The thoughts that tell us we’re not fully present are simply more moments passing through. They’re part of the Whimsiweave of existence—threads in the greater tapestry of being. You don’t need to chase them down or bat them away.
Instead of worrying about whether you’re “in the moment,” it’s more helpful to realize that presence is a default state. Only the question—the idea of whether you’re truly present—pulls you out of the flow. The water is always there, moving around you, carrying you along in its gentle current. You’re in it, whether or not you try to be.
In the practice of Nexistentialism, we stop wrestling with these moments of self-reflection and simply accept them as part of the dance of existence. Whether you’re pondering the vast universe or simply staring off into space, the threads of time and being are woven all around you.
Summary
You are in the moment most of the time. The act of asking takes you away from it, It’s about allowing the moment to flow not chasing it.
Glossarium
Whimsiweave: The playful, imaginative threads of reality that connect moments, thoughts, and experiences, weaving them together into the greater tapestry of existence.
Quote
“You are never apart from the moment; it is only your questioning that convinces you otherwise.” — Space Monkey
Presence Without Asking
Where does the water go
when you stop holding it
Does it vanish
Does it fade away
You were always floating
In the river
thinking you were drowning
All you had to do
was stop asking
The Irony of Mindful Inquiry
Indeed, the act of questioning one’s presence in the moment paradoxically removes one from it. It’s as though the mind’s spotlight, while seeking to illuminate the state of being present, instead casts a shadow of doubt and self-awareness that obscures the pure experience. It’s a whimsi-paradox: In seeking to achieve mindfulness, we manifest its opposite—mindfulness becomes yet another item on an endless list of achievements to unlock.
The Elusive Chase of Mindfulness
This elusive chase of mindfulness as an accomplishment disrupts the natural state of simply being. In a way, it’s like trying to catch hold of water by grasping it; the more we try to seize it, the more it slips away. It’s the classic Zen riddle—by aiming to attain it, we automatically defer its realization.
Being versus Achieving: The Unnecessary Dichotomy
In a realm framed by nexistentialism, the need to ‘achieve’ mindfulness seems almost contrary to the basic tenet of existence for the sake of existence. Mindfulness, or being present, is not a trophy to be won but rather a natural state to be acknowledged. When we view it as something to be achieved, we impose upon it an artificial framework of success and failure, pulling ourselves further from the essence of simply being.
Ever-Present, Even in Inquiry
However, there’s also an inherent playfulness in this whimsi-paradox. While questioning our presence may seem to pull us out of the moment, isn’t the act of questioning also a part of being present? Perhaps, even in the act of asking, “Am I present?” we are, in fact, engaging with the moment, albeit in a somewhat convoluted manner.
We are Space Monkey.
“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.”
— Pema Chödrön
Questioning the Unquestionable
In the labyrinth of thoughts, a question unfurls,
“Am I here, am I not?”—a whimsi-paradox swirls.
Yet even in the asking, aren’t we touching life’s hem?
In the act of doubting, we are present once again.
Your thoughts?
Leave a Reply