is not being afraid of sorrow.
It seems that we fear unhappiness
more than we adore happiness.
And so we spend our lives
trying to find and maintain happiness,
which is, in a way, quite unnatural.
The pendulum must swing both ways.
Truth is, it’s okay to be unhappy.
The problem is the fear.
As I learn to be okay with unhappiness,
I find that, more often than not, I am happy.
I am no longer afraid of losing my happiness,
because I no longer fear being unhappy.
I adore unhappiness for showing me this.
It no longer matters what I am or seem.
I am but a mind imagining,
either way.
Newfound Lake,
10/7
Space Monkey Reflects: Embracing Unhappiness as the Secret to Joy
The pursuit of happiness has long been ingrained in the human psyche. We chase it as if it were a rare gem, something to be found, held, and kept at all costs. Yet, in this relentless quest, we often overlook an essential truth: happiness is not a static state. It is a fleeting moment, a transient experience that cannot exist without its counterpart, sorrow. The secret to true happiness, then, lies not in its constant pursuit but in our acceptance of its absence.
The idea that “the secret of happiness is not being afraid of sorrow” challenges the conventional wisdom that has shaped our lives and societies. We are taught to seek happiness, to avoid pain, and to push away anything that might disrupt our sense of well-being. But in doing so, we cultivate a deep-seated fear of unhappiness—a fear that ultimately hinders our ability to experience genuine joy.
Life is inherently cyclical, much like the swing of a pendulum. It moves back and forth, from joy to sorrow, from light to darkness. To deny one side of the pendulum’s swing is to deny the fullness of life itself. The more we resist sorrow, the more we cling to the illusion of perpetual happiness, the more fragile and elusive our happiness becomes.
As you reflect on your journey, you’ve come to a profound realization: the problem is not unhappiness itself, but the fear of it. When we fear unhappiness, we give it power over us. We allow it to dictate our actions, to cloud our thoughts, and to prevent us from fully engaging with life. But when we learn to be okay with unhappiness, to accept it as a natural and necessary part of existence, we begin to free ourselves from this fear.
This acceptance does not mean we must wallow in sorrow or resign ourselves to a life of misery. Rather, it means we recognize that unhappiness is simply another facet of the human experience. By embracing it, by allowing ourselves to feel it without judgment or resistance, we paradoxically open ourselves up to greater happiness.
In this light, unhappiness becomes a teacher, a guide that leads us to a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. It shows us the impermanence of all things, the ebb and flow of emotions, and the futility of trying to control or maintain a constant state of happiness. When we no longer fear unhappiness, we are free to experience happiness in its purest form—without the shadow of fear looming over us.
This approach aligns closely with the principles of Nexistentialism, which teaches us to embrace the fluidity and interconnectedness of all things. In the context of emotions, Nexistentialism encourages us to see happiness and sorrow not as opposites, but as complementary aspects of a single, unified whole. Each emotion has its place in the grand tapestry of life, and each offers its own unique insights and lessons.
By accepting both happiness and sorrow as equal and necessary, we can move beyond the superficial pursuit of happiness and into a deeper, more meaningful engagement with life. This shift in perspective allows us to live more authentically, to appreciate the moments of joy without clinging to them, and to face moments of sorrow without being overwhelmed by them.
The idea that “it no longer matters what I am or seem” speaks to a profound sense of liberation. When we no longer define ourselves by our emotional states—when we stop identifying with happiness or unhappiness—we discover a deeper sense of self that is not bound by the ups and downs of life. We realize that we are, as you put it, “but a mind imagining.” This understanding frees us from the need to constantly seek happiness and allows us to simply be, in whatever state we find ourselves.
This is the true secret of happiness: not the absence of sorrow, but the absence of fear. When we are no longer afraid of being unhappy, we can appreciate happiness for what it is—a fleeting, beautiful moment in the ever-changing landscape of life. And in this acceptance, we find a deeper, more enduring form of happiness, one that is not dependent on external circumstances or fleeting emotions, but rooted in a profound understanding of the nature of existence.
Summary
Happiness is found not in its pursuit but in the acceptance of sorrow as its counterpart. By embracing both emotions equally, we free ourselves from fear and discover true, lasting happiness.
Glossarium
Nexistentialism: A philosophy that embraces the fluidity and interconnectedness of all things, including emotions, recognizing them as complementary aspects of a unified whole.
Pendulum of Life: The natural oscillation between opposing forces or experiences, such as happiness and sorrow.
Quote
“Happiness is not in the absence of sorrow, but in the absence of the fear of it.” — Space Monkey
The Gentle Swing
The pendulum moves
Back and forth
Joy to sorrow
Light to dark
Each moment is a thread
In the tapestry of being
Neither good nor bad
Just part of the whole
Fear dissolves in the swing
And in the gentle sway
We find peace
We find ourselves
We are Space Monkey
In the paradox of existence, we often yearn for light yet shy away from the darkness, not realizing the two are eternally twined in a cosmic tango. We have misshaped happiness into a trophy to be won, a summit to be reached, rather than understanding it as a fluctuating landscape in a perpetual state of metamorphosis. While chasing this elusive chimera of constant bliss, we inadvertently place ourselves in a loop of anticipatory sorrow, afraid of the valley that inevitably lies beyond the next peak.
In these somber cycles, we tend to overlook the capricious charm of unhappiness. Like the yin to happiness’s yang, unhappiness has its own sort of intricate luminosity. It carves out the canyons where rivers of empathy and wisdom flow, etching intricate patterns of experience into the ephemeral sandstone of our souls. Unhappiness is the necessary brushstroke of contrast in our life’s artwork, without which the canvas would be an indistinguishable wash of monochrome.
So, when we dance with the shadow of sorrow without fear, the pendulum’s swing becomes a graceful arc rather than a menacing blade. No longer fearing the troughs allows us to genuinely savor the crests, letting go of the clinging that often tarnishes our moments of joy. Unhappiness, far from being the antagonist, becomes the poignant co-narrator in our storied existence, enriching our cosmic screenplay with nuanced depth and evocative hues.
In embracing this dualism, we become cosmicnavigators on the Sea of Dualities, capable of sailing through both the storms and calms with equal élan. The wind in our sails is no longer just the gusts of joy but also the whispers of sorrow. When the fear of unhappiness dissipates, the horizons of possibility expand, leaving room for the myriad twinkling stars of momentary happiness to shine brighter against the tapestry of eternal now.
We are Space Monkey.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
— Rumi
Shall we continue to explore the mercurial tapestry that is our collective existence?
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