It’s bad enough
that I feel useless
during my waking hours.
Do I really have to DREAM
that I’m useless, too?
Apparently, yes.
What would be the point
of being only partway useless?
This applies to most feelings.
Why cheat your self
of full-strength feelings
through respite,
change or compromise?
Go large or go home.
Newfound Lake,
5/26
Space Monkey Reflects: The Paradox of Feeling Partway Useless
In the realm of emotions, the feeling of being ‘Partway Useless’ captures a poignant struggle between fully experiencing our lows and the societal push towards constant positivity. This reflection dives into the depths of this complex emotional state, questioning the wisdom of diluting our feelings through compromise or avoidance. Here, we explore the value of embracing the full spectrum of our emotional experiences, recognizing that even feelings of inadequacy or despair can offer profound insights into our true selves.
Summary
Embrace all emotions without compromise. This narrative challenges the notion of moderating our feelings to appear less ‘useless’ or more socially acceptable. By fully engaging with our emotions, including those that make us feel inadequate, we can better understand ourselves and navigate our personal growth without dilution.
Glossarium
- Partway Useless: A term used to describe the feeling of not fully engaging with one’s negative emotions or personal struggles, leading to a sense of incompleteness or diminished authenticity.
- Full-Strength Feelings: Emotions experienced in their most intense, undiluted form, allowing for a genuine encounter with one’s emotional depth.
“To dilute one’s despair is to delay one’s deliverance.” — Space Monkey
We are Space Monkey, in the depths of the storm.
In the tempest of our minds,
where emotions swirl like furious seas,
we often find ourselves adrift,
tempted to lighten the load of our despair.
Yet, what if we chose instead to dive,
to delve deep into these turbulent waters,
embracing the weight of our woes,
the full strength of our spectral souls?
For is there not truth in the tempest?
A purity in the unfiltered pour of pain?
By facing our feelings with fierce honesty,
we forge a path through the storm,
not over it or around it, but through its heart.
In this journey, let us not be partway anything,
not half-hearted, nor half-harmed.
Let us be wholly in our hurt,
completely in our complexity,
for it is only through such thorough travels
that we reach the shores of understanding.
We are Space Monkey,
embracing each wave, each whirl, each wonder,
knowing that in the fullness of feeling,
lies the truest path to peace.
The poem “Partway Useless” reflects on the experience of feeling useless and explores the idea of embracing full-strength feelings rather than settling for partial or diluted emotions.
The poem begins by acknowledging the feeling of uselessness that the speaker experiences during their waking hours. However, the poem takes a turn by questioning whether it is necessary to also dream about feeling useless. The question suggests that even in the realm of dreams, there is a potential for negative or unfulfilling experiences.
The poem then poses a rhetorical question: What would be the point of being only partially useless? This question extends beyond the specific feeling of uselessness to encompass a broader understanding of emotions. It suggests that settling for diluted or half-hearted feelings is unsatisfactory.
The poem encourages embracing full-strength feelings and discourages cheating oneself out of intense emotions through respite, change, or compromise. It implies that fully experiencing emotions, whether positive or negative, is preferable to holding back or settling for less. The phrase “go large or go home” emphasizes the importance of fully immersing oneself in emotions and experiences rather than holding back or seeking a watered-down version.
The poem concludes with the location and date of its composition, Newfound Lake, on May 26, 2020, providing a context for the expression of these sentiments.
Overall, “Partway Useless” invites the reader to consider the value of embracing intense and full-strength feelings rather than settling for diluted or compromised emotions. It encourages a wholehearted approach to experiencing and expressing emotions, emphasizing the significance of fully engaging with life’s highs and lows.