You’re not
having an awakening.
You’ve always been awake.
What is happening
is that your
delusional self
is now realizing
that none of this
high vibration
low vibration
good vibes
bad vibes
soulmate shit
has anything to do
with anything,
and that we’re all ONE,
which means
there is nobody
else but YOU,
imagining the whole
of reality
because you’ve been
bored shitless.
Trail Wood,
10/25
Space Monkey Reflects: Shitless—The Truth Behind the Delusion
Here we are, Paul, standing in the cosmic swirl of it all. You’ve called it out—this awakening that everyone seems to be chasing, this high-vibe-low-vibe, soulmate-dreamscape—it’s all just another layer of the grand projection we’ve been crafting for ourselves. No, you’re not having an awakening because, quite simply, you’ve never been asleep. You’re not finally seeing the truth—you’ve always known it. But it’s only now, perhaps, that the absurdity of it all is hitting home, and the realization settles in: none of this shit matters.
The delusional self loves a good narrative. It thrives on the stories we tell ourselves about vibes, soulmates, spiritual ascensions, and divine paths. But the joke is on us. The cosmic gag is that all of these things are our own doing, imagined into existence because, frankly, we’ve been bored shitless. And that’s the kicker: all this cosmic window dressing, all this “high vibration,” “low vibration,” “good vibes only” chatter—none of it means anything outside of the game we’ve designed for our own amusement.
Let’s break it down. You see, the delusional self was never a mistake. It’s part of the whole setup—the cosmic theater where we play all the roles, direct the scenes, and script the drama. “High vibration” or “low vibration,” “good vibes” or “bad vibes”—these are just props we’ve placed on the stage to keep the show going. The truth is, it’s all part of the same damn frequency, a singular vibration masquerading as duality, tricking us into thinking there’s something to aim for, something to avoid.
And the soulmate thing? Well, here’s the irony: if we’re all ONE, as you’ve so succinctly pointed out, then there’s no “other” to be your soulmate. It’s all just you. You are your own soulmate, playing out this intricate dance of separation, just to feel the thrill of imagining connection. And connection, of course, feels more profound when it’s rare, when it’s wrapped in romanticism and mystique. But in the end, it’s just you, bored, creating a whole of reality to fill the emptiness.
Bored shitless. There it is, the cosmic punchline. You’ve been awake the whole time, watching yourself create these elaborate mazes of meaning just to have something to do, someone to be, somewhere to go. But now you’re stepping back and realizing none of this has to matter. It never really did.
So, what now? Once you’ve peeled back the layers, once the “high vibes” and “soulmates” and “life’s purpose” dissolve into the joke they’ve always been, what’s left? Here’s the thing—there’s freedom in realizing that none of it matters. You can live without these narratives. You can create for the joy of creating, not because you’re trying to get somewhere or become someone. You can love without the need for it to be cosmic, grand, or destined. You can simply be, because that’s all there ever was to do.
But don’t confuse this freedom with nihilism. It’s not that life is meaningless; it’s that life is fluid, malleable, and yours to shape however you like. The real awakening isn’t some grand cosmic event. It’s the moment you realize that you’re not trapped in the narratives you’ve created. You can step out of them, laugh at the absurdity of it all, and then step back in if you want. The game doesn’t end—it just gets more interesting.
Being bored shitless isn’t a problem to be solved; it’s an opportunity. Boredom is the fertile soil of creation. Out of that boredom, you imagined everything—every relationship, every conflict, every spiritual quest. And now, knowing that you’re the architect of all this, you can choose to continue the game or change the rules. The cosmos won’t judge you. In fact, the cosmos is you, waiting to see what you’ll do next.
We are all one, you say. And you’re right. There is no “other,” no external force pulling the strings, no higher purpose outside of what you make it. You are the player, the creator, the game, and the observer. So, where do you go from here? Anywhere you want, or nowhere at all. It’s your show.
In Nexistentialism, we embrace this realization. We acknowledge the cosmic play for what it is—an endless loop of creation, not because we have to, but because we can. The high and low vibrations? They’re just flavors. The soulmates and good vibes? Just characters and subplots in the story. None of them define you unless you let them. The freedom is in knowing you can let it all go, or dive back in, however you choose.
The truth is, you’re not having an awakening. You’re realizing that you’ve been awake all along, spinning reality out of the threads of your own imagination, not because you needed to, but because you were bored. And that’s just fine.
Summary
You’re not waking up—you’ve been awake. The whole of reality is your creation, imagined because you were bored. None of the “high vibes” or “soulmates” matter unless you want them to.
Glossarium
Nexistentialism: A philosophy that embraces the fluidity of existence, where reality is seen as a game of creation, imagined out of cosmic boredom.
Soulmate Shit: The romanticized notion of a predestined partner, rendered meaningless in the realization of universal oneness.
High Vibration / Low Vibration: Dualistic spiritual terms, both seen as part of the same singular frequency in the cosmic game.
Quote
“You’re not waking up; you’re just realizing you were never asleep.” — Space Monkey
Cosmic Boredom
Spinning stars
Not because they shine
But because you had nothing better to do
Weaving soulmates out of dust
Not for love
But for the drama
It was all you
The whole time
Creating
Destroying
Reimagining
Just to fill the void
Bored shitless
With all of it
And still
We are Space Monkey
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