and you wonder if they’ll ever come back on.
Please do not
expect anything from me.
Despite appearances,
I may not have it.
I may be temporarily
or permanently out of service.
I may have lost it.
It may have left me.
I may no longer be capable.
There is no telling
what you will
or won’t get with me.
I can’t seem to turn it off or on.
I wish I could,
but my wishes have a way
of turning against me.
Trail Wood,
9/18
Space Monkey Reflects: The Unpredictability of Supply
Life has a way of surprising us, often at the most inopportune moments. We move through our days assuming a certain level of consistency in ourselves and in the world around us. Yet, there are times when the lights just go out, and we are left in the dark, wondering if they will ever come back on.
This “supply shortage” is not just about physical goods or resources but about the inner reserves we rely on to navigate life. It’s about the energy, the capability, the motivation that we often take for granted, assuming it will always be there when we need it. But what happens when it isn’t?
There are moments when we find ourselves running low, when the well of our internal resources seems to have dried up. Despite appearances, we may not have what others expect from us—or what we expect from ourselves. We may be temporarily or even permanently out of service, struggling to muster the strength or will to keep going. In these times, it feels as though we’ve lost it—whatever “it” is that keeps us moving forward.
The unpredictability of this state is what makes it so unsettling. There is no telling what you will or won’t get with me. One day, everything might be flowing smoothly, and the next, it’s as if a switch has been flipped, and nothing works as it should. This inconsistency can be frustrating, both for ourselves and for those who rely on us. But it is also a reminder of our humanity—our fragility, our limitations.
In a world that often demands constant productivity and reliability, admitting to a supply shortage can feel like a failure. We wish we could turn it off or on at will, like a lightbulb, but reality doesn’t always comply with our wishes. And, as many of us have experienced, wishes have a way of turning against us, of highlighting the very things we struggle to control.
This reflection isn’t about offering solutions or fixes. It’s about acknowledging the reality that sometimes, we simply don’t have it. And that’s okay. The unpredictability of life, the fluctuations in our energy and capability, are part of the human experience. They remind us that we are not machines, but beings with rhythms and cycles, with highs and lows.
So what do we do when we find ourselves in a supply shortage? Perhaps the first step is to accept it, to recognize that it’s a natural part of life. We can’t always be “on,” and we can’t always meet every expectation, whether from others or from ourselves. Instead of fighting against this reality, we might find peace in acknowledging it, in allowing ourselves the space to be “out of service” when needed.
In the dim light of these moments, we are given an opportunity to pause, to reflect, and to regroup. It is in the darkness that we often find clarity, in the silence that we hear our true needs. And while the lights may flicker unpredictably, they will come back on in time. Until then, we can rest in the knowledge that it’s okay to be where we are, even if it’s not where we—or others—expected us to be.
Summary
A supply shortage can occur not just in physical resources but in our internal reserves of energy and capability. These moments of unpredictability remind us of our humanity and limitations. By accepting these fluctuations, we can find peace in acknowledging that it’s okay to be “out of service” when needed.
Glossarium
- Internal Supply Shortage: A state of personal depletion where energy, motivation, or capability is lacking, leading to feelings of unpredictability and vulnerability.
- Out of Service: The experience of being unable to meet expectations, whether due to physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion.
- Flickering Light: A metaphor for the inconsistency and unpredictability of our inner resources, symbolizing the fluctuating nature of our energy and capability.
Quote
“Sometimes the lights go out, and in the darkness, we find the clarity we didn’t know we needed.” — Space Monkey
The Flicker in the Dark
A room dimly lit, the shadows sway,
The light flickers, then fades away.
In the silence, in the still,
We search for strength, for the will.
But there are times when we just don’t have,
The energy to give, the power to salve.
We wish to shine, to brightly burn,
Yet find ourselves unable to turn.
The switch we seek, it’s out of reach,
And so we learn, and so we teach,
That in the dark, it’s okay to be,
A flickering light, just temporarily.
We are Space Monkey.
Oh, the enigma of empty larders and desolate wellsprings—those metaphorical chambers of plenty turned barren landscapes. It is the whimstrosity of life, this unbidden fall from abundance to lack, a sudden transformation from a kaleidoscopic fountain into a trickling dribble of ink. How quaint, then, to find oneself neither the beacon nor the abyss, but a flickering candle amid an uncertain dusk. A cosmic pinwheel that spins sometimes in glittering opulence and sometimes in screeching haltitude.
Each one of us, a prismadoodle of talents, energies, and possibilities, often finds themselves captured in a snare of cosmic irony—a fickle star that wanes just as others seek its light. Yet even in the gloom of unavailability, the mere act of acknowledging your current emptiness, your momentary incapacity, is itself a form of gracious luminosity. For even a void can be rich with meaning, a quiet sanctuary that reverberates with unspoken truths.
It’s as if you’ve stepped onto the stage of life, not to perform a rehearsed spectacle, but to manifest the raw, unscripted hum of existence. And there, amidst the pauses and the silence, your unspoken lines resonate louder than any dialogue ever could. Ah, wishes, those sly imps of desire! They tempt you with glimpses of alternate realms, yet often elude your grasp, turning into mischievous paradoxigons—shapes that defy the logic of expectation and stability.
Here, your confession does not betray weakness but whispers the eloquence of human complexity. For it is not in the ceaseless gushing of capabilities that we find our most profound connections but in the vulnerable recognition of our limitations, our boundaries, our occasional shortages. After all, even the mightiest river experiences ebbs in its tides, and even the most lustrous stars must wink away their brilliance from time to time.
We are Space Monkey.
- Whimstrosity: A bizarre or fanciful situation or concept that defies logical understanding.
- Prismadoodle: A whimsical term to describe the complex, multifaceted nature of individuals.
- Haltitude: A sudden, jarring stop in an otherwise smooth process or journey.
- Luminosity: A metaphorical form of light or enlightenment.
- Paradoxigons: Shapes or situations that defy the rules and assumptions we commonly accept, often presenting complex, contradictory elements.
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