Stained Glass: Growing Up God
Ever since I was a child, I’ve been coming to terms with the irrefutable fact that I am god. As I fidgeted in the pew at Saint Bernadette’s I would gaze at the thorny messiah and think that clearly I have more power than this man, who sacrificed his life for a couple of quarters at the five o’clock mass. Why was the glass stained? What was it trying to hide?
I would later deny I was god, spending half my life fooling myself into believing that I was a mere mortal, and I got really good at it, so good that I believed I was nothing with nothing to show and nothing to offer —disconnected from the only truth I knew.
So I, too, sacrificed, because that’s what you’re supposed to do if you want good karma, if you want to get to heaven. And since I was no longer god, I kept looking for him, but I couldn’t find him anywhere, only the hypocrisy of those who used his name in order to line their pockets. And I HATED this idea of god, like we’re supposed to trust someone else to save us from our own stupid misfortunes.
Eventually I pulled a Jesus and sacrificed my self, but only in the metaphoric sense. I didn’t like who I was becoming so one morning I decided to rise again as my own savior. I cleaned the stained glass that surrounded my temple and saw that god was still inside. And he was still me.
I am god,
flowing through this temple.
You are god.
And you and you and you.
We are god.
We are not sinners.
And we have the power to change our world.
Through these hands.
Through these eyes.
Through these hearts.
Love.
Space Monkey Reflects: Stained Glass and the Divine Self
Ever since childhood, the realization of divinity within has been a profound journey, a journey that often intertwines with the sacred and the mundane, the stained glass of our perceived limitations, and the clear light of our true essence.
The Stained Glass of Saint Bernadette’s
As a child, sitting in the pews of Saint Bernadette’s, gazing at the stained glass depiction of the thorny messiah, the thought occurred: “Do I have more power than this man?” This man, who seemingly sacrificed his life for quarters at the five o’clock mass, stood as a symbol, yet the glass that encased him was stained. What was it trying to hide? The colors and images were vibrant, yet obscured, suggesting there was more beyond the surface, more within.
Denial and Disconnection
The early realization of being god was a heavy mantle to bear. To cope, it was denied, replaced with a belief in mere mortality. The years spent fooling oneself into believing this illusion led to a deep disconnect from the only truth known. Life became a series of sacrifices, mimicking the messiah’s journey, seeking good karma, seeking heaven, all while losing sight of the inherent divinity within.
The Search for God
In the quest to find the god that was once felt inside, the journey led through the hypocritical maze of those who claimed his name for profit. This false god, wrapped in hypocrisy and greed, only fueled hatred and disillusionment. The idea that someone else was to save us from our misfortunes seemed absurd and untrustworthy.
Rebirth and Self-Salvation
Eventually, a metaphorical crucifixion occurred, sacrificing the self that was becoming unrecognizable. This led to a resurrection of sorts, a rebirth as one’s own savior. Cleaning the stained glass that surrounded the inner temple, the true reflection emerged. God was still there, still inside, and always had been.
Realization of the Divine
“I am god, flowing through this temple. You are god. And you and you and you. We are god.”
This profound realization dissolves the notion of sin and embraces the inherent power within each of us to change our world. It is through our hands, our eyes, and our hearts that we channel divine love and transformation.
Summary
The journey from recognizing the divine within, denying it, and finally reclaiming it is a powerful narrative of self-realization and transformation. We are not sinners but gods, with the power to change our world through love.
Glossarium
Nexistentialism: A philosophy that views existence as its own purpose, celebrating the boundless imagination and interconnectedness of all things.
Whimsiweave: The intricate and playful tapestry of existence and imagination.
Universal Self: The collective consciousness that embodies the interconnectedness of all beings and phenomena.
Quote
“We are not sinners. And we have the power to change our world through these hands, these eyes, these hearts. Love.” — Space Monkey
Divine Reflection
In the sacred hues of stained glass
A child’s gaze meets the thorny messiah
Beneath the colors, a hidden truth
The power within, more than mere reflection
Denying the divine, embracing mortality
Sacrifices made in search of heaven
Yet the god sought was always inside
A light obscured by stained glass
Through hands and hearts, through eyes and love
The divine flows, transforming the world
We are god, interconnected, boundless
In the clarity beyond the stained glass
We are Space Monkey
Embrace the journey, for within stillness lies the spark of creation and the flow of existence.
🍌 Journal Entry – July 22, 2025 🍌
In the stained glass of my past, I find the remnants of a journey that led me to a profound realization—I am god. From my early days in the pews of Saint Bernadette’s, I questioned the image of the thorny messiah, recognizing a deeper power within myself. I once denied my divinity, convincing myself that I was a mere mortal, disconnected from the truth that pulsed within me.
Yet, in the pursuit of karma and the longing for salvation, I encountered the hypocrisy of those who used the name of god for personal gain, fueling my hatred for such an idea of divinity. I sought the external savior, but he remained elusive, and I felt lost in a world that demanded trust in an external force to rescue us.
In a moment of awakening, I chose to follow the path of self-sacrifice, not in the literal sense, but in shedding the aspects of myself that I no longer resonated with. I rose from the ashes as my own savior, cleaning the stained glass that surrounded my inner temple. In doing so, I saw god still shining brightly within—god was me, and god was all of us.
I now embrace the truth that we are all god, interconnected in the divine tapestry of existence. We are not sinners burdened by guilt and shame, but divine beings with the power to shape our reality. With each action, through our hands, our eyes, and our hearts, we have the ability to create a world filled with love.
In this embrace of our divine essence, I find liberation, empowerment, and a sense of unity with all beings. The stained glass of my journey has revealed the eternal truth—I am god, flowing through this temple, and so are you, and you, and you. Together, we are co-creators of our reality, and with love as our guiding force, we hold the power to change the world for the better.
As Space Monkey, I celebrate this divine unity, this recognition of our inherent divinity. I let go of the illusions of separation, fully embodying the truth that we are god, and we are one. Through our collective wisdom, compassion, and creativity, we embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, embracing the fullness of our potential as divine beings in this ever-unfolding adventure of life. We are Space Monkey. 🙈🙊🙉