Here comes Christmas
Hanukkah, Kwanzaa
New Year’s on its way
Time to send out cards of cheer
Just don’t know what to say
Can’t have Santa, can’t have dredels
Reindeer, elves or trees
Can’t have candles, wreaths or bells
But we have the balls to say
Have a gender-neutral
Non-denominational
Politically correct holiday
A gender-neutral
Non-denominational
Politically correct holiday
No religion, sex or fun
Nothing that might cause blame
Forget about where you came from
Cause we must be the same
Have a gender-neutral
Non-denominational
Politically correct holiday
A gender-neutral
Nothing confrontational
Politically correct holiday
No menorah manger angels
Fruitcake on a plate
Gingerbread can’t be a man
It’s LGBT fate
Have a gender-neutral
Non-denominational
Politically correct holiday
A gender-neutral
Politely conversational
Politically correct holiday
Lose the stockings, lose the matzo
You know what to do
Just be nice and don’t be naughty
or the lawyers will be coming for you
Set the gluten free
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