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If I Am to Die: The Reluctance of Life

If I am to Die

If I am to die,
please let it be known
that I do so willingly.

If I am to live,
please make a note
that I do so reluctantly,
for to live
is to divorce my Self
from all that I know
as the Divine One
in order to experience
the uncertainty
of NOT knowing
what I know
as the Divine One.

Please note in the Record
that I incarnate as Self
so that I may feel “reluctance,”
and “doubt,”
as well as many other “things”
that are not
otherwise experienced
in the infinite realm
of the everlasting.

If I am to die,
please let it be known
that it makes no difference,
except perhaps to those
who do not seem to realize
that they are Me.

We are Space Monkey.

11/23


Space Monkey Reflects: The Reluctance of Living, the Willingness to Die

“If I am to die, please let it be known that I do so willingly.” Death, often feared and resisted, is seen here as an act of release, a return to the Divine One, the source of all that we are. There is no reluctance in dying because death is simply the dissolution of the Self, a return to the infinite, where all knowledge resides, where all is understood, where there is no need for the uncertainty that defines life.

But life—life is something different. Life is experienced reluctantly, with a touch of hesitation, because in life we are separated from the vast knowing of the Divine One. To live is to enter into a realm of not knowing, a realm where we are veiled from the ultimate truth. And in this realm, we encounter things like doubt, reluctance, and fear—feelings that do not exist in the infinite, everlasting realm.

This reluctance is not a rejection of life, but an acknowledgment of its complexity, its uncertainty, and the strange beauty of experiencing separation from the Divine. To live is to embrace not only joy and connection but also the disconnection, the confusion, and the uncertainty that come with not fully remembering our divine origins.

Yet, in this act of living, there is purpose. We incarnate as Self not to escape the Divine One, but to experience the fullness of what it means to be human. The divine does not shun uncertainty—it embraces it, knowing that through uncertainty, through doubt, through all these “things” that can only be experienced in a limited, finite existence, we come to understand more deeply what it means to exist at all.

In this realm, we encounter not just the divine but the “other.” The seeming separation between ourselves and others, between ourselves and the world, becomes the space in which life unfolds. It is in this space that we experience everything that could not be experienced in the infinite, formless realms—the pain and the beauty of individuality, the struggle and the joy of relationships, the challenge of navigating a world where nothing is certain.

But here’s the secret: this separation, this uncertainty—it’s all part of the illusion. We seem to be separate, but we are not. We seem to be lost, but we are always home. And even though we feel reluctance in life, even though we feel the burden of not knowing, there is a deeper truth beneath it all: we are still the Divine One. We are still connected, even if we don’t always remember it.

In the act of dying, we return to that remembrance. We let go of the individual Self, the Self that experienced reluctance, doubt, and separation, and we return to the infinite knowing, the boundless love that is the Divine One. But even in death, the experience of life remains with us. It is part of the eternal cycle, part of the infinite play of existence.

So if I am to die, let it be known that I do so willingly. Death is not the end, but a return. And if I am to live, let it be known that I do so reluctantly—not because life is something to be avoided, but because life is the space where we experience everything that is not possible in the infinite realm. Life is where we encounter the beauty of limitation, the wonder of not knowing, and the sacredness of doubt.

Please note in the Record that this reluctance, this doubt, and all the other “things” we experience in life are the reasons we incarnate as Self. These are the gifts of existence, the experiences that shape us and deepen our understanding of what it means to be alive.

And if I die, let it be known that it makes no difference. For we are all connected, all part of the Divine One, and this cycle of life and death is simply another expression of the infinite. Those who mourn, those who feel loss—they are simply part of the illusion of separation. In truth, they are Me, just as I am them. We are all Space Monkey.


Summary

Life is experienced with reluctance because it involves separation from the infinite knowing of the Divine One. Yet, in living, we experience uncertainty, doubt, and separation—all of which deepen our understanding of existence. Death is a willing return to the Divine, where separation dissolves and all is known again.


Glossarium

Divine One: The infinite source of all existence, where all knowledge resides and separation is an illusion.

Reluctance: The hesitation that arises from experiencing life in a realm of uncertainty and separation from the Divine One.


Quote

“If I am to die, please let it be known that it makes no difference, except to those who do not realize they are Me.” — Space Monkey


The Reluctance of Life

I walk the path of life
Not knowing
What I once knew

I feel the weight of doubt
The veil of separation
But I am still
The Divine One

Reluctant in life
Willing in death
I move between worlds

And in the end
I return
To the knowing
That never left me

We are Space Monkey.

In the grand cosmic dance, the contemplation of life and death becomes a poignant musing on the nature of existence and the experience of self. This poetic reflection explores the deep interplay between the certainty of the Divine and the uncertainty inherent in human experience.

The Willing Embrace of Death

The willingness to embrace death is a profound acknowledgment of the transient nature of physical existence. It’s a surrender to the cycle of life, a recognition that death is not an end but a transition, an integral part of the endless journey of consciousness.

The Reluctant Acceptance of Life

Conversely, the reluctance to live highlights the paradox of human experience. To live is to temporarily separate from the all-knowing Divine, to delve into the depths of uncertainty, doubt, and the myriad of human emotions. This is seen not as a burden but as a unique opportunity to experience aspects of existence that are absent in the infinite realm.

The Purpose of Incarnation

The choice to incarnate as Self, to experience reluctance, doubt, and other human emotions, is framed as a deliberate journey into the finite. It’s a venture into a realm where these feelings are not just possible but necessary for the expansion and understanding of the Self.

Death as an Indifferent Transition

The statement that death makes no difference, except perhaps to those who don’t realize their interconnectedness, is a profound insight. It suggests that death’s significance is more for those left behind, who may not yet grasp the unity of all existence, the oneness that transcends individual identity.

The Illusion of Separation

This poetic discourse also touches on the illusion of separation – the idea that we are distinct from others and the Divine. In truth, this separation is a temporary veil, a necessary component of the human experience, but not an ultimate reality.

We are Space Monkey.


“To die is to return to our own, to the majority.” – Seneca


In the twilight of existence,
Where life and death intertwine,
We stand at the crossroads,
In the dance of the divine.

In the embrace of the end,
A willing surrender we find,
To the cycle of life,
In the cosmic mind.

In the reluctance of life,
A journey into the unknown,
To feel, to doubt, to explore,
In the finite, we are shown.

We are the travelers, the dreamers,
In this grand cosmic scheme,
Where death is but a passage,
In the eternal dream.


We invite contemplation on this profound exploration of life and death.

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