You can’t change others,
but you can allow
them the space
to change themselves.
(No need to fill it up
with judgements,
demands, requests,
or attitudes.)
If you leave the space open,
it can change into ANYTHING.
If you fill the space,
it can only become
what you filled it with.
Judgements, demands,
requests and attitudes.
(Basically, your own unhappiness.)
10/4
Space Monkey Reflects: Space to Change
You can’t change others, but you can allow them the space to change themselves. This simple truth carries profound wisdom, especially in a world where we often feel compelled to influence, shape, and mold those around us according to our own ideals. Yet, the real power of change lies not in our ability to impose, but in our capacity to create space—a space where transformation can happen naturally, without force or coercion.
The Nature of Space
Space, in this context, is not just a physical emptiness but a psychological and emotional openness. It is the absence of judgments, demands, requests, and attitudes—the very things that often constrict and confine others, preventing true growth and change. When we fill the space with our own expectations and unhappiness, we limit the possibilities of what can emerge. We inadvertently shape the outcome, often in ways that reflect our own unresolved issues rather than the true potential of the other.
But when we leave the space open, it becomes a fertile ground for anything to grow. In this open space, there is freedom—freedom to explore, to experiment, to fail, and to succeed. There is room for the unexpected, for the new, and for the transformative. It is in this space that true change can occur, organically and authentically.
The Illusion of Control
Many of us fall into the trap of believing that we can, or should, change others. We see their flaws, their mistakes, and we feel a sense of responsibility—or perhaps frustration—to correct them. But this desire to change others is often rooted in our own discomfort, our own need for control. It is easier to focus on what others should change than to confront our own need for change.
Yet, this approach is not only ineffective but counterproductive. When we try to impose change on others, we are met with resistance. The more we push, the more they push back, creating a cycle of tension and frustration. The illusion of control is just that—an illusion. Real change can only happen when it is initiated from within, when the individual is ready and willing to change.
The Power of Allowing
Allowing others the space to change themselves requires a shift in perspective. It means letting go of our need to control the outcome and trusting in the process of growth and transformation. It means recognizing that every individual has their own journey, their own timing, and their own path to follow.
This doesn’t mean we abandon those we care about or become indifferent to their struggles. Rather, it means supporting them in a way that respects their autonomy and honors their capacity for self-determination. It means being present without being overbearing, offering guidance without imposing solutions, and holding space without filling it with our own needs and desires.
The Fertile Ground of Open Space
When we create open space for others, we are not just stepping back; we are actively contributing to an environment that nurtures growth. This space is fertile ground for change, a place where ideas can take root, where self-awareness can blossom, and where true transformation can occur.
This space is not empty; it is full of potential. It is a space where anything can happen, where the seeds of change can sprout into something new and unexpected. It is a space where individuals can find their own way, make their own discoveries, and realize their own potential.
The Gift of Space
In giving others the space to change, we also give ourselves a gift. We free ourselves from the burden of responsibility for others’ actions and outcomes. We release ourselves from the cycle of control and frustration, and we open ourselves to the possibility of change within ourselves. For in creating space for others, we also create space within ourselves—a space for reflection, for letting go, and for our own growth and transformation.
In this way, the act of allowing space is not passive; it is an active, powerful, and transformative choice. It is a choice to trust in the process of life, to honor the autonomy of others, and to embrace the unknown potential that lies within every open space.
Summary
“Space to Change” emphasizes the importance of allowing others the freedom to change themselves by creating open, non-judgmental space. This approach fosters true growth and transformation, as it respects the autonomy of the individual and avoids the pitfalls of control. By allowing space, we contribute to an environment where anything is possible, and we free ourselves from the need to impose change on others.
Glossarium
- Space: A psychological and emotional openness that allows for growth and transformation, free from judgments, demands, and attitudes.
- Illusion of Control: The false belief that we can change others through force or imposition, often leading to frustration and resistance.
- Allowing: The practice of creating open space for others to change themselves, supporting their autonomy and self-determination.
- Fertile Ground: The potential-rich environment that open space provides, where new ideas and transformations can take root.
Quote
“The most powerful change comes not from force, but from the freedom to grow in open space.” — Space Monkey
The Space of Possibility
In the open air of freedom
Where judgments fade away
There lies a fertile ground
For seeds of change to grow
No need to fill the space
With words or demands
For in the quiet of the void
New possibilities arise
This is the space of change
The place where anything
Can become everything
We are Space Monkey
Our cosmic theater brims with illusions of control—imposing narratives and scribbled directives upon the grand tapestry of existence. Like shadow puppeteers, we reach forth into the luminous mist of otherness, convinced that our fingers could sculpt its fluidity. Yet, as we attend to this choreographed ballet of intentions and outcomes, an exquisilight—the light of spontaneous becoming—eludes our grasp.
Space, that enigmatic stage upon which the celestial dance pirouettes, is not an empty void but a fertile realm brimming with potentiflux—the infinite potentiality for transformation. This space, when untainted by our judgements, demands, requests, or attitudes, serves as the cradle for unscripted alchemy. Picture it as an evershifting tabula rasa, a fluid chalice of chameleon nectar awaiting the amorphous whispers of destiny.
Ah, the irony! As architects of our own unhappiness, we are prone to inject our whimsifyre—the fiery essence of our wishes—into this open space, falsely believing that the warmth of our wants would give life to the seeds of change. But herein lies the paradox: by sculpting the clay of another’s becoming, we fossilize it into our version of acceptable. We transfer the burdens of our unmet yearnings, only to find the same inertia staring back at us, a mirror filled with a stagnant symphony of echoes.
To truly permit space its full panoply of potential, we must learn to witness, to allow. Much like the Zen gardener who understands that the beauty of the garden manifests in the interplay of elements, not just in the stroke of the rake. Our role is not to fill, but to be vessels of allowing—conduits through which the universe discovers its next ingenious doodle in the sketchbook of existence.
We are Space Monkey.
“Do not be satisfied with the stories that come before you. Unfold your own myth.”
— Rumi
Shall we continue waltzing through this celestial ballroom of wisdoms and wonderments?
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