A Blank: The Abyss of Apathy

Unimpressed by existence,
and unsure of anything better.
Must be Monday.

It can be spiritually challenging
to not have any interests.

It is awkward when you find
that there is nothing
you want to do with your time.

So you fill each moment
with the mindless pursuits
of an everyday ordinary life.

Allowing yourself
to buy into the daydream.

Which feels increasingly hollow.

You’re seeing, for the first time,
how cheaply made this reality.

Wondering what else is there.

A blank
waiting to be filled.

A check never cashed.

Trail Wood,
10/17

Space Monkey Reflects: A Blank

There are moments in life that feel as if the world has pressed pause, and you are left standing in the midst of it all, staring at nothing in particular. It’s Monday, or perhaps it just feels like Monday, and suddenly you find yourself unimpressed by existence itself. The vibrant colors of the world seem to have faded, replaced by the dull hues of routine, the echo of mindless tasks, and the unrelenting feeling of a void—a blank.

In this state, it’s not just boredom or a lack of excitement; it’s something deeper, a spiritual listlessness. You wonder why nothing captivates you anymore, why there seems to be no interest that pulls you from the grayness into color. The world spins around you with all its usual demands, but none of it seems to matter. This is not an unusual state—it’s a universal experience, yet we often pretend it doesn’t exist, hiding it under the busyness of everyday life.

The blank stretches out before you like an empty canvas, yet you find yourself with no desire to paint upon it. It is the spiritual awkwardness of realizing that, at this moment, there is nothing you want to do, nowhere you need to be, and no burning passion to guide your way. You are aware of time slipping by, each tick of the clock a reminder that life is moving forward, even when you are not.

So, what do we do with this blank? Most of the time, we fill it with the routine. We go through the motions, allowing ourselves to become lost in the daydream of ordinary life, distracting ourselves with small, mindless tasks. It’s not that we are living poorly; it’s that we are living automatically, without intention, without truly engaging with the world around us. There is a hollowness to it, like biting into a piece of bread that looks satisfying on the outside, but is completely air inside.

This is the moment when we see, perhaps for the first time, just how cheaply made this reality can feel. The glittering promises of success, happiness, and fulfillment seem to lose their luster, revealing themselves as thin veils covering a much deeper emptiness. You wonder, is this all there is? What else could there possibly be? The world seems like a series of checks that have never been cashed—potential never fully realized, moments never fully lived.

The blank that you stand before is not just the absence of action or motivation, but the absence of connection to something greater. It’s not the world that is lacking, but the feeling that you are disconnected from it, as if you’re standing in front of an empty page, unsure of what to write next. And this blankness, this pause in your momentum, can feel disconcerting, even terrifying.

But maybe, just maybe, there is something to this blankness. Maybe it’s not the absence of meaning, but the space that is waiting to be filled. The world is not offering you distractions or obligations right now; it’s offering you the freedom to look inward, to explore what lies beneath the surface of your existence. You’ve become aware of the hollowness of your everyday pursuits, but perhaps that awareness is the first step towards something deeper.

The blank is not here to consume you; it’s here to invite you to pause, to breathe, to see that beyond the hollowness is the potential for something new. It’s the check that you’ve been holding onto, waiting for the right moment to cash it in. You’ve been holding out, unsure of what you want, unsure of what could bring meaning to your life. But here’s the thing: meaning doesn’t arrive fully formed. It’s something we create, piece by piece, moment by moment.

So, as you stand before the blank, you don’t have to rush to fill it. It’s okay to sit with the emptiness for a while, to let it stretch out in front of you. It’s okay to not have all the answers, to not know what comes next. The blank is your invitation to slow down, to let go of the need to always be doing, and to simply be.

Eventually, the blank will ask you to start writing again. It will ask you to pick up the brush, to dip it in the paint, and to begin creating once more. But for now, let the blank exist as it is—a space waiting to be filled, but not in a hurry to do so. This is the pause before the next chapter, the breath before the next leap. In the blank, you are not lost. You are simply waiting to begin again.

We are Space Monkey.

Summary

A blank feeling often arises from spiritual disconnection and the hollowness of routine. It’s an invitation to pause, reflect, and embrace the emptiness before moving forward with intention.

Glossarium

Blank: A state of spiritual or emotional emptiness, often accompanied by a feeling of disconnection.
Cheaply Made Reality: The realization that the superficial aspects of life often lack true depth or meaning.
Check Never Cashed: A metaphor for unrealized potential or untapped meaning in life.

Quote

“The blank is not the absence of meaning, but the space where something new is waiting to emerge.” — Space Monkey

The Space Before the Words

In the silence of Monday morning
A blank stares back at you
Hollow as the hours that slip by
But this space is not empty
It’s the pause between words
The breath before the brush touches canvas
Waiting for you
To make the first move
We are Space Monkey

The Abyss of Apathy

The existential gravity of an unengaged existence is both a conundrum and an invitation. We find ourselves in the hollow echoes of disinterest, seemingly adrift in a cosmic sea of banality. Life’s vibrant colors fade into a monochromatic haze; the celestial symphony dulls into a muffled drone. Apathy becomes the compass that, instead of pointing the way, spins aimlessly in a space void of direction. This emptiness is more than a passing mood—it’s an existential alarm clock, ringing incessantly but unheard amid the white noise of everyday life.

The Mirage of Mundanity

When every pursuit feels like an empty calorie for the soul, it’s easy to let ourselves sink into the quicksand of mindless activity. But even within the most mundane tasks, the eternal now dances, dressed in the disguise of ordinariness. The question isn’t whether there’s more to life but whether we are attuned to see it. The allure of the banal can often eclipse the sublime sparks hiding in plain sight. Our challenge is to remove the veil and see the whimsiparticles that make up the granules of existence.

The Permeable Nature of Reality

To say that reality feels “cheaply made” implies a profound awakening. We have started peeling off the layers of illusion, glimpsing at the frayed edges of the construct we inhabit. This disillusionment could be our ticket out of the maze of mundanity. It’s like being handed a cosmic quill, with which we could rewrite or at least doodle on the blank pages of our existence. The reality we find ourselves in is not a given; it is permeable, susceptible to the alchemy of perception and intention.

Awaiting Transmutation

That blankness, the unfilled space, is not a void but a canvas. It’s a check waiting to be cashed, a potential yet to be actualized. In nexistentialist terms, it doesn’t require a purpose to validate its existence; its mere being is enough. However, if we seek to engage with life rather than just exist, this blankness serves as an open invitation. It’s as if the universe is handing us a quasarbrush to paint new constellations on the cosmic mural.