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Things I Worry About: The Game of Life and the Unnecessary Quest for Meaning

Things I worry about:

I worry that I’m paying too much attention to “the game” and I worry that I’m not paying enough attention to it. Either the game is why I’m here, or the game is distracting me from finding out what “here” truly means.

I wonder which path is right. And I wonder why I feel the need to judge what is right.

Fortunately I also hold the belief that it’s impossible for me to be anywhere except where I want to be — you know, where I’m supposed to be. It’s reassuring to have faith in something, even though I don’t know exactly why I (or my higher self) would have chosen these unique circumstances.

We are faced with so many challenges in these remarkably “ordinary” lives of ours, it’s easy to forget how magnificent things truly are. And that there is a lesson to be gained in everything.

That’s another thing I constantly ponder. Does everything have to have a lesson attached to it, or is that simply a notion that springs from our inherited feelings of unworthiness — part of the game.

Aren’t we simply here to have fun? Why do we need to learn anything? Learning implies that’s we’re less than perfect. Deep down, I know that we are already perfect. We’ve always been perfect. It’s just these Monopoly tokens we walk around in that seem less than satisfactory.

I used to hate being the stinky silver shoe, but I’m beginning to appreciate that shoes are way more useful than, say, top hats. And if the game board suddenly closes on me, I know there’s always another game. Which, again, makes it that much more difficult to sweat the details over the game I’m playing right now.

We quibble over whether the world is too much Baltic Avenue and not enough Boardwalk. We get angry at each other for not paying the luxury tax or landing on chance and helping out the poor. We worry about global warming, when all that really needs to happen is to turn off the light and go upstairs to bed. Everything will be fine tomorrow.

Yes, there are horrific things in this game, and if it satisfies our battleship, cannon, or little doggy personalities, we should help. But realize that not everyone needs to share the same calling. Not everyone needs to solve all the problems of the world. There are people playing specifically for those reasons. You know, the irons of the world. They can smooth anything out.

As I review what I’ve just written, it is evident that I’ve been whiffing the shoe for too long. Even so, here’s hoping that we all find our “Get Out Of Jail Free” cards.

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Space Monkey Reflects: The Game of Life and the Quest for Meaning

In the boundless whimsiweave of nexistential thought, we often find ourselves caught in the paradoxical dance of paying too much attention to “the game” and worrying about not paying enough. The game, whether it is the societal constructs or the daily routines, seems to be either the purpose of our existence or a grand distraction from discovering what “here” truly means. This dichotomy mirrors the broader quest for meaning and the incessant search for purpose within the cosmic dance of life.

The Path of Judgement and Faith

As we navigate this whimsical journey, we are often confronted with the dilemma of choosing the “right” path. The urge to judge our actions and decisions as right or wrong stems from a deeper need to validate our existence. Yet, this very need for validation can be seen as a construct of the game itself, a notion springing from inherited feelings of unworthiness. Paradoxically, we hold the belief that we are precisely where we need to be, guided by an unseen higher self that has chosen these unique circumstances for reasons beyond our immediate comprehension. This faith, though enigmatic, offers a reassuring anchor in the swirling sea of uncertainty.

Challenges and Magnificence

Our remarkably “ordinary” lives are filled with challenges that often overshadow the inherent magnificence of existence. It is easy to forget that every moment, every experience, holds a lesson, even if that lesson is not immediately apparent. The idea that everything must have a lesson attached can itself be questioned. Is this notion a product of our cultural conditioning, or is it an intrinsic part of the human experience? Perhaps the true essence of life lies not in the lessons but in the simple act of being, of experiencing joy and wonder without the need for constant self-improvement.

The Notion of Perfection

Deep within, we know that we are already perfect, that our essence is unblemished by the external circumstances of the game. The avatars we inhabit, these Monopoly tokens we move around the board, may seem less than satisfactory, but they are merely vessels for our perfect selves. This realization can be both liberating and challenging. On one hand, it frees us from the need to constantly strive for perfection. On the other, it highlights the disparity between our true nature and the often mundane realities of the game.

Finding Joy in the Game

The game itself, with its rules and tokens, is not without merit. It offers opportunities for joy, learning, and growth, even if those opportunities are sometimes disguised as obstacles. We might once have disliked being the stinky silver shoe, but with time, we learn to appreciate its unique value. Shoes, after all, are more practical than top hats when navigating the rugged terrain of life’s board. And if the game board suddenly closes, there is always another game, another chance to explore, learn, and grow.

Quibbling Over Details

Our societal quibbles, whether about economic disparity, environmental concerns, or social justice, reflect the larger dynamics of the game. We argue over whether there is too much Baltic Avenue and not enough Boardwalk, or whether everyone is paying their fair share of the luxury tax. Yet, these debates are part of the game’s complexity, revealing the diverse motivations and values of its players. Some are called to address global challenges, while others find their purpose in smaller, more personal victories. The irons of the world, those who smooth out the wrinkles, play their part just as importantly as the battleships and cannons.

Embracing Our Roles

Each of us has a unique role to play, and not everyone is called to solve all the world’s problems. There are those whose paths involve grand gestures and sweeping changes, and there are those whose contributions are quieter but no less significant. Understanding this allows us to find peace in our individual journeys, knowing that we are all part of a larger, interconnected whole.

The Get Out of Jail Free Card

As we reflect on these thoughts, it becomes evident that we have been immersed in the game for too long, perhaps losing sight of the bigger picture. Yet, the hope remains that we all find our “Get Out of Jail Free” cards—moments of clarity and freedom that remind us of our true nature and purpose. These cards are not just literal escapes but symbols of liberation from the confines of self-doubt and fear.

Summary

Life is a paradox of playing the game and seeking deeper meaning. We worry about the right path and the need to judge it. Faith assures us we are where we need to be. Challenges and magnificence coexist, and joy is found in embracing our roles.

Glossarium

Nexistentialism: A philosophy that reinterprets existential themes within a framework of interconnectedness and boundless imagination.

Whimsiweave: The intricate and playful tapestry of existence and imagination.

Higher Self: The aspect of our consciousness that is connected to the universal self and guides our journey.

Get Out of Jail Free Card: A symbol of liberation from the confines of self-doubt and fear.

Monopoly Tokens: Metaphors for our physical avatars in the game of life.

Quote

“Existence is its own purpose, an endless dance within the cosmic web.” — Space Monkey

The Game of Life

In the play of life we find our roles
some as shoes some as top hats
we walk the board with purpose and whimsy
each step a dance of meaning and delight

Quibbles over Baltic and Boardwalk
mask the deeper quest for truth
we seek lessons in every square
yet joy lies in the game itself

Challenges shape our journey
magnificence hides in ordinary moments
we are perfect amidst imperfection
creators and creations intertwined

Faith in the unseen guides us
higher selves choosing paths unknown
we are here in this game
dancing the infinite dance of now

We are Space Monkey

Embrace the journey, for within the game lies the spark of creation and the boundless ocean of existence.

On The Beach

On The Beach

Here on the beach on the edge of the sea / I disappear into you into me / Four eyes / I’m watching you watching me / Here on the beach on the edge of the sea / No land just drifting and shifting sand / Can’t see me watching you watching me / Hear me and feel forever / me watching you watching me / Hear my song in the waves / Baby you can bring me to another key / Your siren softly singing / fancy like that I like that / You are my undertow / a strange melody / by Paul C Tedeschi

Space Monkey Reflects: On The Beach

Here on the beach, at the edge of the sea, we find ourselves in a moment of deep introspection and connection. The serene scene, bathed in the warm hues of the setting sun, invites us to dissolve into the timeless dance of waves and sand. This space, where two figures watch each other, encapsulates the profound interplay of self and other, observer and observed.

The Edge of the Sea

Here on the beach on the edge of the sea, I disappear into you into me. The beach, a liminal space between land and sea, serves as a powerful metaphor for the boundaries of self and other. In this space, distinctions blur, and we find ourselves merging with the infinite expanse of nature. The shifting sand beneath our feet reminds us of the transient nature of our existence, constantly changing and evolving.

Mutual Observation

Four eyes. I’m watching you watching me. This mutual observation creates a dynamic interplay, where the act of seeing and being seen deepens our connection. It is a reminder of the interconnectedness of our experiences, where our perceptions are constantly shaped by our interactions with others. The beach, with its open and expansive horizon, provides the perfect backdrop for this contemplative exchange.

Timeless Connection

No land just drifting and shifting sand. Can’t see me watching you watching me. The absence of solid ground symbolizes the fluidity of our relationships and the ephemeral nature of our connections. Here, time seems to stand still, allowing us to fully immerse ourselves in the present moment. The waves, with their rhythmic ebb and flow, echo the cycles of our lives, reminding us of the continuous interplay between stability and change.

Siren Song

Hear me and feel forever, me watching you watching me. The siren song, softly singing, draws us into a deeper state of awareness. This strange melody, with its enchanting pull, invites us to explore the depths of our emotions and the subtle currents that shape our interactions. It is a call to embrace the unknown and to trust in the intuitive guidance of our inner selves.

The Undertow

You are my undertow, a strange melody. The undertow, a hidden force beneath the surface, represents the deeper layers of our consciousness. It is the unseen current that influences our thoughts, feelings, and actions. By acknowledging and embracing this undertow, we gain a greater understanding of ourselves and the forces that shape our experiences.

Melodic Interplay

Baby you can bring me to another key. Your siren softly singing, fancy like that I like that. This melodic interplay highlights the transformative power of our connections. Just as music can shift keys and create new harmonies, our interactions with others can lead to profound changes in our perceptions and experiences. The beach, with its natural beauty and ever-changing landscape, serves as a reminder of the endless possibilities that arise when we open ourselves to new perspectives.

Timeless Moment

In this moment, we find ourselves at the intersection of time and eternity. The beach, with its tranquil beauty, offers a space for reflection and introspection. Here, we can explore the depths of our consciousness and connect with the infinite expanse of our true selves. This moment, captured in the serene scene of the beach at sunset, reminds us of the timeless nature of our existence and the profound connections that shape our lives.

Summary

The beach, a liminal space between land and sea, invites introspection and connection. Observing and being observed deepens our understanding of self and other, while the timeless setting highlights the fluidity of our experiences.

Glossarium

Liminal Space: The transitional area between two states, symbolizing the boundaries of self and other.

Undertow: The deeper, hidden currents of our consciousness that influence our thoughts and actions.

Quote

“The beach, a liminal space, invites introspection and connection. Observing and being observed deepens our understanding of self and other.” – Space Monkey

Ebb and Flow

On the edge, we stand
Watching waves and sand
Eyes meet, connections deepen
In the rhythm of the sea
Timeless, we dissolve

We are Space Monkey

Label Me Stinky

Label Me Stinky

Growing up, my favorite stuffed animal was a skunk named Stinky. Like most well-loved childhood friends, I remember Stinky as a threadbare creature, save for a molded rubber face that managed to be both adoring and creepy at the same time.

Like most toys, Stinky “went off to a better place” during my college years, and, save for the occasional twang of nostalgia, I never thought much about him until recently, when I was writing about the lifelong significance of first remembrances. Stinky is not my first remembrance — but surprisingly he is for my older sister Lisa, who commented on Facebook:

“It is December 1961, just before Christmas. Dad and I are in the living room of our house on Braeburn Road in Hyde Park. He has a stuffed animal, a skunk, that he is placing under the Christmas Tree. Dad is explaining that the stuffed animal is for my new brother, who is still in the hospital with Mom. He wants to make sure that baby brother has a gift under the Christmas tree when he comes home. It is a skunk — the infamous Stinky.”

The Infamous Stinky. Overwhelmed by nostalgia, I immediately take to Google to find a picture of my long-lost companion. I’m thinking “How difficult could it be to find a stuffed rubber-face skunk in cyberspace?”

Harder than I thought. Surprisingly, my mental image of Stinky is a lot less sharp than I remember it to be, and I am reminded of my age. Have I officially become a forgetful old codger?

“Why can’t I call up the Stinky file,” I wonder. Part of me is fascinated by the mechanics of the mind. Part of me is horrified by the impermanence of memory. Part of me is thinking there’s probably a bigger lesson in all of this. Like, what kind of father would give his boy a skunk as his very first Christmas present? I admit I have an unusual family, but this just didn’t make “scents.”

I gather a few pictures and upload a police lineup. Immediately Lisa comments “I don’t remember Stinky having a tail.” Then we both realize that Stinky didn’t even have a stripe. His head was all white, save for his fleshy, cheeky face and . . . now it’s coming back to me . . . blue eyeliner.

That’s when I realized that my whole past is a fabrication. A rubber-faced lie. After 50 years, I realized that Stinky wasn’t a skunk at all.

Deleting “skunk” from my search terms, I found the picture you see here, a vintage Rushton stuffed bear, only $32.99 on eBay. I don’t remember a music box (I always got the cheap version of everything) but I’m pretty sure this is my guy. I would recognize those plastic ears and precisely-spaced minimalist whisker holes anywhere. Why I didn’t remember them before now is beyond me.

But a bear? Really? Not like any bear I’ve ever seen. And clearly not a skunk.

So now I’m thinking how many other ideas in our brains are labeled completely wrong? Why did the idea of Stinky being a skunk stick with me and my whole family? Was it a mass hallucination?

I’m thinking the moral of this story is the danger of labels. Once a label sticks, it gathers energy, becomes real, then we can’t see past the word picture, despite the fact that the truth may be far different. For 50 years, the label “Stinky” immediately conjured up a little skunk. Who wasn’t a skunk at all.

This is how prejudices happen. This is how societies get lost down so many falsely labeled paths, certain that their skunk is a skunk. This is how accidents, mistakes and conflicts happen. And it stinks.

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Space Monkey Reflects: The Illusion of Memory and the Power of Labels

In the ethereal journey through the cosmos, where the past and future intertwine like stars in the galaxy, there exists a peculiar tale of a beloved childhood companion, a stuffed bear mistakenly remembered as a skunk named Stinky. This story, transcending mere nostalgia, unfolds layers of profound truths about memory, identity, and the indelible impact of labels. It is a narrative that resonates deeply with the essence of our shared existence, reminding us of the intricate dance between reality and perception.

The tale of Stinky, a cherished yet misremembered companion, serves as a poignant reflection on the impermanence of memory and the potent force of labels. As we navigate the cosmic river of life, the waters of our memories flow, mingling and morphing, often leaving us with recollections that are more fiction than fact. This phenomenon is not a flaw in our being but a testament to the fluid nature of existence, where every moment is a confluence of countless perceptions, emotions, and interpretations.

The discovery that Stinky was not, in fact, a skunk but a bear is emblematic of a broader realization: how often our perceptions are shaped by labels, for better or worse. These labels, once affixed, have the power to color our understanding of the world, to define our experiences, and to influence our journey through the cosmos. They are like stars in the night sky, guiding us but also limiting our vision to the constellations we have been taught to see.

This revelation invites us to contemplate the labels we attach to ourselves, to others, and to the world around us. It challenges us to question the narratives we hold dear and to recognize the transformative power of redefining our reality. In the cosmic dance of existence, labels are both our compass and our confines, guiding us yet often restricting our understanding of the infinite possibilities that the universe offers.

As we journey through the cosmos, let us embrace the fluidity of memory and the malleability of labels. Let us acknowledge the role they play in shaping our reality while remaining open to the vast expanse of truth that lies beyond our perceptions. In the end, it is our willingness to explore, to question, and to redefine that propels us forward, into the boundless realms of understanding and connection.

Summary

The tale of Stinky (the non skunk) reveals the fluidity of memory and the impact of labels. It challenges us to reconsider our perceptions and the narratives we believe, highlighting the transformative power of redefinition in our cosmic journey.

Glossarium

Cosmic River of Life: The metaphorical flow of existence, representing the continuum of experiences and memories that shape our journey through the cosmos.
Impermanence of Memory: The notion that our recollections are not static but evolve over time, influenced by our perceptions, emotions, and the labels we apply.
Power of Labels: The significant impact that names, categories, and labels have on our understanding of the world, our identities, and our relationships.

“In the cosmos of our minds, memories are stars, and labels the constellations. It is up to us to navigate by them, yet remain open to the infinite sky.” – Space Monkey

Amidst the vastness, a tale unfolds, of Stinky, a memory,
A companion of youth, misremembered, a mystery.
In the dance of the cosmos, where truths and tales entwine,
We find our reflections, in the fluidity of time.

Labels, like stars, guide us through the night,
Shaping our journey, our perceptions, our light.
Yet in their grasp, we often lose sight,
Of the boundless expanse, beyond the finite.

Let us embrace the cosmos, with minds open and free,
Questioning the labels, the memories, the stories we see.
For in the river of life, where past and future blend,
Lies the beauty of becoming, an infinite journey, without end.

In the dance of existence, where every moment is a chance,
To redefine, to rediscover, to embrace the cosmic dance.
With hearts wide open, to the universe, we sing,
We are Space Monkey, in the eternal ring.

The Tedeschi Siblings

A Reflection on Suffering, Struggle, and Authenticity

If I suffer or struggle, it’s a sign that I’m not being myself.

The Nature of Suffering and Struggle
Suffering and struggle often serve as harbingers of dissonance between our lived experience and our true essence. The discomfort and pain we encounter can signal a misalignment with our authentic selves, highlighting areas where we have strayed from our core values, desires, or potential. This discord can stem from various sources, including societal expectations, personal aspirations, or the internalized narratives that dictate who we should be.

The Quest for Authenticity
The pursuit of authenticity involves a journey inward, a quest to uncover and align with our true nature. It’s a process of shedding the layers of imposed identity and societal conditioning to reveal the raw, unvarnished self. However, this journey is not without its challenges. The path to authenticity can be fraught with uncertainty, vulnerability, and the fear of rejection or isolation.

Suffering as a Catalyst for Growth
While suffering and struggle are often viewed through a negative lens, they can also be powerful catalysts for personal growth and self-discovery. The discomfort that arises from not being ourselves prompts us to examine our lives more closely, to question our choices, beliefs, and the very essence of our identity. This introspection can lead to profound insights, fostering a deeper understanding of our authentic selves and guiding us toward a more congruent way of being.

The Role of External Influences
It’s important to recognize the role of external influences in shaping our experience of suffering and struggle. The pressures to conform, perform, or meet certain standards can lead us away from our authentic path, creating friction between our inner world and the external reality. Acknowledging these influences allows us to discern which aspects of our struggle are self-imposed and which are the result of external factors.

Embracing the Full Spectrum of Experience
Being ourselves doesn’t necessarily mean the absence of suffering or struggle. Authentic living involves embracing the full spectrum of human experience, including the joys, sorrows, challenges, and triumphs. Authenticity requires the courage to face life’s adversities with openness and integrity, staying true to ourselves even when the path is difficult.

The Interplay Between Authenticity and Adaptation
Authenticity does not imply a rigid adherence to a fixed sense of self. Rather, it encompasses the ability to adapt and evolve in response to life’s changing circumstances while maintaining alignment with our core values and truths. This dynamic process of adaptation allows us to navigate life’s complexities without losing sight of our essence.

Finding Peace in Authenticity
Ultimately, aligning with our authentic selves offers a pathway to peace and fulfillment. It liberates us from the turmoil of living inauthentically and provides a foundation for genuine contentment. While the journey toward authenticity may involve struggle and suffering, it also opens the door to a more meaningful and satisfying existence.

Invitation to Reflection
We are invited to reflect on our experiences of suffering and struggle as potential indicators of a departure from our authentic selves. How can we use these experiences as opportunities for introspection and growth? In what ways can embracing our authentic selves transform our relationship with suffering and lead us toward a more harmonious and fulfilling life?

This reflection is an invitation to embrace the journey of authenticity, to find strength in vulnerability, and to recognize that true alignment with our selves can transform the nature of our suffering and lead us to a deeper understanding of who we are meant to be.