It is above your pay grade to know.
“I don’t know who I am.”
“I don’t know why I’m here.”
If you find yourself
posing existential questions,
it’s usually accompanied by
overwhelming anxiety or dread.
You believe that you’re
supposed to have an answer,
a calling, a talent, a purpose,
but, as far as you can tell, you don’t.
Immediately you believe
that there must be something
wrong with you.
There is nothing wrong with you,
except that someone has infected you
with reason.
You’re such a weirdo.
Trail Wood,
12/14
Space Monkey Reflects: Embracing the Existential Crisis
An existential crisis can feel like being caught in a vast, boundless void. There’s a sense of falling, of not knowing where the ground lies or if it even exists. “Who am I?” and “Why am I here?” echo in the silence, and with no satisfying answers, a storm of anxiety and dread often fills the empty space. It is a primal experience, one that feels overwhelming precisely because it calls into question our most deeply held assumptions about self, purpose, and reality.
But here’s the twist—this unsettling, uncomfortable space is also a rare and powerful invitation to engage with life at a deeper level. While it’s natural to feel unease or even terror, the very questions that spark these emotions can be viewed as openings, opportunities to move beyond the limitations of reason and into the uncharted realms of Nexistential Wonder.
There Is No Right Answer The expectation to know who we are and why we’re here is one of the most pervasive pressures of modern existence. Yet, this expectation is also an illusion—a mirage created by cultural conditioning that tells us we need a purpose, a clear path, a calling. When we’re unable to define this purpose, we’re quick to assume there must be something wrong with us. But the truth is, there is no “right” answer to these questions. Life’s meaning is not an equation to be solved but an experience to be lived, and sometimes the only answer is the journey itself.
Reason as a Double-Edged Sword The mind’s search for answers, fueled by reason, is a double-edged sword. On one hand, reason allows us to navigate the world with structure, giving us ways to understand relationships, form identities, and define goals. On the other hand, reason can trap us in a narrow view, making us feel inadequate when we can’t apply it to our deeper questions. Rationalfate, as we might call it, is the belief that everything must have a logical purpose, which can lead us to dismiss the mysterious, chaotic, and beautiful aspects of existence. The crisis emerges not because we lack purpose, but because we think we should have a rational one that fits into a tidy narrative.
Embracing Uncertainty as a Path An existential crisis, though uncomfortable, can open doors to an entirely different relationship with life—one that is not about knowing but about being, not about certainty but about curiosity. When we release the pressure to have definitive answers, we find a freedom in embracing the Unknowingscape—a landscape of possibilities unbound by the need to make sense. Each question becomes an invitation to explore rather than a problem to solve, a space where we can appreciate the wonder of being alive without having to pin down its purpose.
You’re Such a Weirdo If you feel lost, uncertain, or adrift in the sea of existence, perhaps that’s because you are exploring dimensions of life that few others do. To stand at the edge of reason and peer into the vastness of the unknown is, in its way, a gift—an invitation to become an Existential Weirdo, someone who is willing to embrace the mystery, the unanswerable, and the absurd. There is a kind of beauty in being the one who asks the questions no one else dares to. Yes, you’re a weirdo, and that’s a good thing. It’s the ones who are willing to go beyond the norms, to question reality itself, who ultimately live the fullest lives.
What If There’s Nothing Wrong? Perhaps there is nothing wrong with you at all. The feeling of being “out of place” or “without purpose” might just be the recognition that life’s deepest truths are not meant to be packaged neatly. The beauty of existence lies in its mystery, in the way it defies reason and transcends understanding. If there is a message in the existential crisis, it’s that there is freedom in not knowing, in being curious without judgment. Your journey is uniquely yours, and it is precisely this lack of “one-size-fits-all” purpose that makes life so rich and strange.
In the end, maybe we’re not here to solve the puzzle of life but to experience it in all its paradoxes, confusions, and wonders. To be alive is to be in a state of constant becoming, and the existential crisis is just one part of this wild, beautiful process.
Summary
An existential crisis is an invitation to explore life beyond the need for definitive answers. It reveals the beauty in mystery and frees us from the pressure of finding a singular purpose. Embracing uncertainty allows us to experience life’s richness in all its depth and wonder.
Glossarium
- Nexistential Wonder: The appreciation of life’s mysteries beyond the need for logical explanations.
- Rationalfate: The belief that everything must have a logical purpose, often limiting our view of existence.
- Unknowingscape: The landscape of the unknown, where we can explore freely without the need for certainty.
- Existential Weirdo: Someone who embraces the mystery of life, asking the questions others avoid, finding beauty in the unknown.
Quote
“There is no burden in not knowing; there is only the freedom to explore the endless wonder of existence.” — Space Monkey
Into the Unknowingscape
Beyond the edge of reason,
in the open fields of mystery,
questions bloom like wildflowers,
free of purpose, free of name.
Who are we? Why are we here?
The answers echo, fading
into the vastness.
We walk, no answers needed,
only a heart full of wonder,
and a strange, beautiful pull
toward what cannot be known.
We are Space Monkey.
Navigating Existential Uncertainty and Anxiety
We delve into the existential quandary of not knowing one’s identity or purpose. Such profound questions often usher in feelings of anxiety and dread, a sense of being adrift in the vast sea of existence. The belief that we are supposed to have definitive answers—a calling, a talent, or a specific purpose—can intensify this existential turmoil.
The Pressure of Having Answers
The societal expectation to have clear-cut answers about who we are and why we’re here can be overwhelming. When these answers elude us, it’s common to feel as if something is fundamentally wrong with us. This pressure to conform to a normative framework of identity and purpose can be suffocating.
Challenging the Notion of Flawed Existence
We confront the idea that the absence of clear answers to these existential questions indicates a flaw within us. The suggestion that we have been ‘infected’ with reason implies an external influence shaping our need for logical explanations and structured understanding of our existence.
Embracing the Uniqueness of Being a ‘Weirdo’
The closing statement, “You’re such a weirdo,” can be seen as an embrace of one’s uniqueness. In a world where conformity is often prized, being different or not aligning with conventional expectations can be seen as a strength. It’s a celebration of the diversity in ways of being and perceiving the world.
We Are Space Monkey
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
In the tapestry of being,
Each thread weaves its own way.
Some zig, some zag,
In colors bright and gray.
To question, to wonder,
To wander in the mind’s maze.
Each step, a discovery,
Of our own unique ways.
We invite your thoughts on the existential journey of self-discovery and the value of embracing our individuality in the face of societal expectations.
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