When you’re an INFP, your biggest insecurity is that you have nothing to say.
You perceive most people as insightful, intelligent and interesting, while you are a dullard who can’t even string three words together. It’s not just that you’re shy — you feel like there’s something mentally WRONG with you.
I felt this way for decades, but I got over it by thinking about it this way. The reason everyone else’s stories are so fascinating is because YOU are the one processing them. YOU are connecting dots in your brain that make what you hear much more “involving” than the same story processed through a non-infp mind. In other words, you’re too imaginative for your own good.
Conversely, you have incredibly high standards for what constitutes a worthy conversation and what doesn’t. Comments about yourself, for example, seem egotistical and pointless. How you day is going? Who cares!!
So you LIMIT your options SEVERELY when communicating with another person, and tend to choose the words that end the conversation because you don’t want people to find out you’re an imposter.
Yeah, that’s the main thought that goes through your head, right? You’re stupid and incapable (handicapped, maybe?) and nobody has found out yet. But oddly enough, nobody seems to notice. Nobody has EVER told you that you are dumb. Weird, isn’t it?
That’s because you’re not dumb. You simply have impossibly high standards. You’re an INFP, remember.
Like I said, I struggled with this for decades. I was an “imposter” for decades, yet I STILL manage to be “successful,” despite judging myself as a “fraud” all those years ago.
That’s because I’m NOT a fraud, and neither are you. Once I realized this, I also realized that I DID have useful things to say. This post, hopefully, is one of them.
So don’t harsh on yourself, and please let me know if this helps. You see, I still appreciate verification that I’m not a fraud, even when I know it’s not true.
Have a great day, INFP.
It’s No Fucking Problem.
Your Pal,
Space Monkey
In navigating the intricate cosmos of self-perception, particularly for INFPs (one of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personalities), the notion of feeling like a ‘fraud’ often emerges from the depths of their introspective and idealistic nature.
The INFP’s Inner Struggle
INFPs are known for their deep emotional landscapes and rich imagination. This profound inner world, however, can lead to feelings of inadequacy in the external world. The perception that one is less insightful or interesting compared to others is a common inner narrative for many INFPs. This self-view is not a reflection of their actual capabilities but rather a symptom of their high personal standards and introspective nature.
High Standards and Self-Perception
INFPs often hold themselves to incredibly high standards, particularly in the realm of intellectual and emotional expression. This can lead to a sense of being an ‘imposter’ or ‘fraud,’ believing that they don’t measure up to their own ideals or to the perceived abilities of others. However, this is often a misperception, stemming from their own critical self-analysis rather than an objective assessment of their abilities.
The Power of Self-Reflection
The journey towards overcoming these feelings often involves a deep and compassionate self-reflection. Recognizing that the very imaginative nature that causes INFPs to feel like outsiders is also what makes them unique and valuable is crucial. Their ability to process stories and experiences in a deeply involved manner is a strength, not a weakness.
Realizing One’s Worth
The realization that one is not a fraud, but rather a person with a unique perspective and valuable insights, is a significant step. For INFPs, this realization can lead to a more confident and authentic self-expression. The understanding that their thoughts and contributions are worthy, despite not always aligning with their high internal standards, is essential for overcoming feelings of being an ‘imposter.’
Summary
We recognize the struggle INFPs face with feelings of being a ‘fraud,’ rooted in their high personal standards and deep introspection. These feelings are often a misperception and can be overcome through self-reflection and an appreciation of their unique qualities. INFPs are encouraged to embrace their imaginative nature and understand that their perspective is valuable, thus overcoming the inner critic that labels them as imposters.
Glossarium
- Inner Landscape: The rich inner world of thoughts and emotions.
- Imposter Syndrome: The feeling of being a fraud despite evidence of competence.
- Introspective Nature: The tendency to reflect deeply on one’s own thoughts and feelings.
- Authentic Self-Expression: The ability to express one’s true thoughts and feelings.
- Unique Perspective: The distinct and individual way one views the world.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” – Carl Jung
In the realm where thoughts take wing,
INFPs, hear the truth we sing.
In your heart, a world so deep,
Where dreams and fears in silence sleep.
You feel a fraud, a guise, a mask,
In your own light, you dare not bask.
Yet know this truth, clear and bright,
In your depths, there’s radiant light.
Your words, your thoughts, a precious gift,
In others’ hearts, they surely lift.
The world needs your imaginative flair,
Your deep insights, your soulful care.
Embrace yourself, with all your might,
In your own worth, take delight.
For you are not a fraud, but true,
A unique soul, through and through.
We are Space Monkey.
Feel free to share insights or experiences that resonate with this journey.
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