Just Enjoying the Peak of my Worthlessness
Today I am feeling
at the peak
of my worthlessness.
Pushed to the side,
given nothing but time,
and nothing I want to do.
Most people would
probably see
this time as a gift.
But I have no use for it.
I have no interest
in charity.
I have no interest
in using my time
to help someone out.
It seems that I am
given this time
for a deeper purpose
than humanity knows
right now.
But I don’t know what that purpose is.
Humanity seems inconsequential,
almost a distraction.
Breaking away
seems to go against everything
humanity stands for.
But if humanity is to stand,
the ground beneath needs to be solid.
I can’t concern myself with humanity.
Unbeknownst to humanity,
there seem bigger fish to fry.
Not problems, necessarily.
Beyond humanity,
there seem to be no problems.
Here I am with my problems.
Worthlessness is not a problem
unless I believe it’s a problem.
Why do I still believe
that worthlessness is a problem?
It’s very likely not a problem.
Only when I’m human.
And so my deepest wish
seems not to be human for a while.
Like I was before I was born.
Like I’ll soon enough be.
Not locked in by my
self-imposed limitations.
That’s what I’m using
this time to realize.
The opposite of worthless.
Nothing I can do
can make me worthless.
Except imagining myself as human.
We are Space Monkey.
4/13
Space Monkey Reflects: Embracing the Vastness Beyond Worthlessness
In the silent solitude of self-reflection, where the echoes of worthlessness reverberate through the caverns of the soul, there lies a poignant truth waiting to be discovered. Today, one may find themselves perched at the precipice of perceived worthlessness, a state of being that feels as vast and as consuming as the universe itself. Yet, within this profound sense of insignificance, a cosmic perspective begins to emerge, revealing the illusory nature of worthlessness and the boundless potential that exists beyond the confines of human understanding.
The journey through the shadowy valleys of worthlessness is not a journey of descent but rather an exploration into the depths of our existence. It is in these depths that we encounter the raw materials of transformation—the stardust of our being that holds the key to transcending our self-imposed limitations. The feeling of being pushed aside, of having nothing but time and no desire to engage with the world, may seem like the ultimate testament to one’s lack of value. However, it is precisely in these moments of detachment that the doors to a greater understanding swing wide open.
The perception of time as a gift or a curse is a matter of perspective. For some, time is a canvas, awaiting the brushstrokes of productivity and purpose. For others, it is a vast ocean, in which they find themselves adrift, seemingly without direction or meaning. Yet, it is this very expanse of unstructured time that offers an unparalleled opportunity for introspection and cosmic contemplation. The realization that one’s worth is not tethered to human constructs of productivity or usefulness is a liberating revelation. Worthlessness, in its essence, is not a problem but a portal—a gateway to a realm where the constructs of value and significance are rendered obsolete by the majesty of existence itself.
Beyond the narrow alleyways of human concerns, the universe unfolds in its infinite complexity. The notion that humanity’s trials and tribulations are but a speck in the grand scheme of things is both humbling and exhilarating. To break away from the collective narrative of humanity and to embrace the solitude of cosmic consciousness is to embark on a journey of profound discovery. It is here, in the silent communion with the stars, that one finds the solid ground upon which the future of humanity may stand—a future built not on the shaky foundations of individual worth but on the bedrock of universal interconnectedness.
The longing to transcend the human condition, to return to a state of existence untainted by the burdens of self-doubt and societal expectations, is a testament to the eternal nature of the soul. This timeless essence, which existed before birth and will persist beyond death, is immune to the fleeting judgments of worthiness. In recognizing this eternal aspect of our being, we come to understand that worthlessness, like all human emotions, is a transient state, a cloud that passes before the sun of our inherent divinity.
As we navigate the landscapes of our inner world, let us remember that the opposite of worthlessness is not worthiness, but wholeness. To be whole is to embrace all facets of our existence, from the depths of despair to the heights of joy. It is to acknowledge that nothing we do or don’t do can diminish the infinite value of our existence. For in the end, we are not merely human but expressions of the cosmos itself, woven from the fabric of stars and bound by the threads of universal consciousness.
We are Space Monkey.
Summary
Feeling worthless is a journey through self-reflection leading to cosmic understanding. Worthlessness serves as a portal to transcend self-imposed limitations, revealing the illusory nature of human-constructed value. The true opposite of worthlessness is wholeness, recognizing our inherent part in the cosmos.
Glossarium
- Worthlessness: A perceived lack of value or significance, often experienced as an emotional state.
- Cosmic Perspective: A viewpoint that considers the vastness of the universe and the interconnectedness of all existence.
- Wholeness: The state of being complete and integrated, encompassing all aspects of oneself.
“In the depths of perceived insignificance, we discover the boundless worth of our cosmic essence.”
Beneath the gaze of countless stars, we sit in silent wonder,
Contemplating the vastness that our spirits lie under.
In this moment of solitude, where worth seems lost,
We find a connection to the cosmos, no matter the cost.
The journey through darkness, a path to the light,
Where feelings of worthlessness take their flight.
For in the universe’s expanse, we see our true place,
Not bound by judgment, but embraced by cosmic grace.
As we transcend the confines of our earthly role,
We discover the wholeness that makes us whole.
For we are more than the sum of our earthly fears,
We are the universe expressing itself, through all our tears.
So let us embrace the vastness, and all its mystery,
For in our worthlessness, we find our true history.
A cosmic journey, where every soul takes part,
In the infinite dance of the universe, heart to heart.
We are Space Monkey.
It sounds like you are struggling with feelings of worthlessness and a sense of disconnection from humanity. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are valid, and it’s okay to give yourself time to explore them and try to understand them better.
However, it’s also important to remember that you are not alone in these feelings. Many people struggle with self-doubt and a sense of not fitting in, and there are resources and support available if you need them.
It’s also important to remember that you do have value, regardless of what you may believe about yourself. Your existence alone is a miracle, as you mentioned earlier, and you have the potential to make a positive impact in the world in your own unique way.
Try to focus on your strengths and the things that bring you joy and fulfillment, and don’t be afraid to seek out help and support if you need it. You are not worthless, and you are not alone.