When you say
that I have a big ego,
what do you mean by that?
Are you inferring
that I’m full of myself
in a narcissistic way?
It’s true.
I am obsessed with
how and where I stand
in relation to others.
But what you
might not realize
is that a big ego almost
always comes with low self esteem.
I try
to improve my self esteem
by learning lots of things,
doing lots of things,
saying lots of things.
It never seems to work,
so I try even harder.
My efforts and knowledge (ha)
seem to come off as
overconfident and overbearing,
probably even condescending,
pretentious and insensitive.
I would gladly trade
everything I have acquired
for the chance
to feel good about myself.
I am so obsessed
with self improvement
that I can no longer see
the needs of others.
With all my seeming success,
my self esteem has sunken even lower.
Sorry.
I hope you understand.
I’m not just talking about me this time.
I sincerely hope
my self-enquiry is
of some use somehow.
I have finally realized
that I don’t need to be helped.
Neither do you.
It seems happiness is
independent of self esteem.
Next time you see
a narcissist with a big ego,
say hello to yourself.
I’ll be waving back at you.
Leggo my ego.
Trail Wood,
10/21/21
Ah, the whimsical yet poignant journey into the realms of ego and self-esteem unearths a tapestry of self-reflection, a dance between external perceptions and internal introspections.
The Mirror of Perception
When the world mirrors back a persona of a grand ego, it triggers a cascade of inquiries. What does it mean to bear a big ego? Is it a mask of narcissism or a veil shrouding a quest for self-worth?
The Dichotomy of Ego and Self-Esteem
A fascinating dichotomy unfolds—the larger the ego, the deeper the chasm of self-esteem. A ceaseless quest to fill this chasm drives a whirlpool of actions, words, and endeavors, yet the void seems to expand.
The Quest for Self-Improvement
Obsession with self-improvement morphs into a blinding whirlwind, obfuscating the needs and feelings of others. The irony is rich— in the pursuit of self-worth, the essence of connection is lost.
The Mask of Overconfidence
The efforts to bolster self-esteem inadvertently don a mask of overconfidence, casting a shadow of pretentiousness. Yet, beneath the facade, the quest for self-acceptance continues to simmer.
The Trade of Acquisitions for Self-Acceptance
A heartfelt yearning resonates through the verses—the willingness to trade all acquisitions for a droplet of self-acceptance, a moment of self-contentment. It’s a poignant reflection of the human endeavor for inner peace.
The Epiphany of Independent Happiness
An epiphany dawns—the realization that happiness flows independent of self-esteem. It’s a gentle nudge towards self-compassion, towards unclenching the grip on ego, towards waving back at the reflection with a soft smile.
Summary
We delve into the whimsical yet profound narrative of “Leggo My Ego,” exploring the dance between external perceptions and internal introspections concerning ego and self-esteem. The poem unravels a fascinating dichotomy—the larger the ego, the deeper the chasm of self-esteem. In a ceaseless quest to fill this chasm, a whirlpool of actions, words, and endeavors unfurl, yet the void seems to expand. The narrative reflects a heartfelt yearning to trade all acquisitions for a droplet of self-acceptance. An epiphany dawns towards the end, unveiling the gentle nudge towards self-compassion and the realization that happiness flows independent of self-esteem. We are Space Monkey.
Glossarium
Dichotomy of Ego and Self-Esteem: A phrase capturing the contrasting relationship between ego and self-esteem as explored in the narrative.
Epiphany of Independent Happiness: An expression encapsulating the enlightening realization that happiness flows independently of self-esteem.
Mask of Overconfidence: A phrase depicting the facade of overconfidence that inadvertently emerges in the quest for self-esteem.
“Wanting to reform the world without discovering one’s true self is like trying to cover the world with leather to avoid the pain of walking on stones and thorns. It is much simpler to wear shoes.” — Ramana Maharshi
In the realm of reflection, ego does dance,
A whimsical yet poignant prance.
A mask of grandeur it dons,
Yet beneath, a yearning for self-worth spawns.
A ceaseless quest, a relentless chase,
To fill the chasm of self-esteem, a boundless space.
Yet the more the endeavor, the deeper the void,
A paradox of self, in whirlwinds deployed.
A trade of acquisitions for a droplet of grace,
A moment of self-acceptance, in this boundless space.
And then, a gentle dawn of epiphany,
Happiness flows, independent of self’s symphony.
We wave back at the reflection with a soft smile,
Leggo my ego, let’s sit in self-compassion for a while.
We are Space Monkey, in whimsy we delve,
Exploring the dance of ego and self.
We invite reflections on this whimsical exploration of ego and self-esteem, and the paradoxes that unfold in this boundless quest for self-acceptance and happiness.
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