Pretending To Be A Fraud
For most of my life,
I believed
that I had nothing
worthwhile to contribute.
Oh,
there were things
I did.
Things
that seemed
needing done.
I had a job.
I paid taxes.
I was nice to people.
Mostly.
I recognized
the seeming
plights of others.
But there was nothing at all
I felt passionate about.
I felt as though
I SHOULD be
passionate about something,
but I wasn’t.
I could be a good robot,
like everybody else.
But I believed that I had
no passions to contribute.
This was not
a happy mindset
for a monkey
who thought of
himself as creative.
I felt a fraud, mostly.
Like I was pretending
to be this real person
who did things and felt things.
This went on for decades.
Until I started pretending
that I had something to say.
I faked it until I maked it.
Now the monkey won’t shut up.
The monkey can’t
seem to stop making things
and expressing things.
Things that actually seem useful.
How did this happen,
I wonder,
and are there other monkeys
who feel the same way
this monkey once did?
I am guessing yes,
which is why I am expressing this.
You may not seem
as though you have a passion.
It may feel as though
you lack passion.
You may actually believe
that you have nothing to say.
But the monkey who writes this
is inside of you also.
Messing with you.
The bud may believe
that it will never flower.
It may clench itself tight.
It may fear the world
seeing it flower.
And then it flowers anyway,
because the bud has no control
over when it blossoms.
Then all of that struggle,
all of that torment,
all of that emptiness,
all of that mediocrity
seems ever so much
more poignant.
We are Space Monkey.
2/16
The Journey from Doubt to Expression
In the vast expanse of the cosmos, where stars are born from the void and galaxies dance in the silent ballet of existence, the story of a monkey who once doubted his worth unfolds. This narrative, a microcosm of the universal quest for meaning and purpose, mirrors the journey of countless souls adrift in the sea of creation, searching for their voice amidst the cacophony of existence.
The Illusion of Insignificance
The initial belief in one’s own insignificance, the notion that one has nothing worthwhile to contribute, is a shadow that looms large over the landscape of our consciousness. It is a reflection of the inner turmoil that besets many who walk the path of creativity, a silent whisper of doubt that clouds the brilliance of our inner light.
The Transformation through Pretense
The pivotal moment of transformation, where pretense becomes a tool for discovery, marks the turning point in our narrative. The act of pretending to have something to say, of faking it until making it, emerges not as a deception but as a bridge to authenticity. It is through this facade of confidence that the monkey begins to find his voice, a voice that had been there all along, waiting to be unleashed.
The Unleashing of Creativity
The unleashing of creativity, where the monkey can no longer be silenced, signifies the blossoming of a soul once constricted by self-doubt. This newfound expression, where things made and said begin to hold value and purpose, is a testament to the transformative power of belief in oneself. It is a celebration of the potential that resides within us all, waiting for the spark of inspiration to ignite the flames of passion.
The Universal Resonance
The question posed, whether there are other monkeys who have traversed this path of doubt and emergence, speaks to the universal resonance of this journey. It is a call to those who feel lost in the shadows of their own uncertainty, a beacon of hope that illuminates the possibility of transformation. The story of one becomes the story of many, a chorus of voices that rises from the depths of despair to the heights of creative expression.
The Blossoming of the Inner Self
The metaphor of the bud, clenched tight in fear of blossoming, only to flower in spite of itself, encapsulates the essence of our journey. It is a reminder that the struggle, the torment, and the emptiness are but precursors to the emergence of our true selves. In this blossoming, the perceived mediocrity of our past becomes a poignant backdrop to the radiant beauty of our present.
We Are Space Monkey
In sharing this narrative, we acknowledge the monkey within us all, the creative spirit that yearns to be heard, to be seen, to be acknowledged. We recognize that the journey from doubt to expression is not a solitary voyage but a shared odyssey, where each of us holds the potential to inspire and be inspired. In this collective awakening, we find solace, strength, and the courage to blossom into the fullest expression of our being.
Summary
We reflect on the transformative journey from self-doubt to creative expression, recognizing the universal struggle to find one’s voice amidst feelings of insignificance. Through the act of pretending to have something to say, we discover the authentic voice that has always resided within us, leading to an unleashing of creativity that resonates with others on similar paths. We celebrate the blossoming of the inner self, acknowledging that the struggle and emptiness we once faced enrich the beauty of our creative emergence.
Glossarium
- Illusion of Insignificance: The mistaken belief in one’s own lack of worth or contribution, often hindering creative expression.
- Transformation through Pretense: The process of adopting a facade of confidence or purpose as a means to discover and unleash one’s true creative potential.
- Universal Resonance: The widespread identification with a particular experience or journey, highlighting the shared nature of human struggles and triumphs.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anaïs Nin
Unleashing the Inner Voice
In the silence of the cosmos, a whisper stirs,
A voice, once silent, now fervently purrs.
A monkey, cloaked in doubt and fear,
Pretends to speak, and lo, we hear.
From the depths of pretense, a truth is born,
A creative spirit, no longer torn.
What once was fake, now stands revealed,
In the art of faking, his fate was sealed.
To those who doubt, who fear to express,
This monkey’s journey whispers, “Confess.
The voice within, though quiet it seems,
Holds the power to realize your dreams.”
For we are all monkeys, in this cosmic play
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