(Who are also me.)
You are laboring under
unrealistic expectations.
People are not
as spontaneously eloquent
as they seem in public or on TV.
That scene-stealing speech
took months to craft.
It’s okay
if you stutter and bumble
through life.
Your final script
will sound perfect
in that famous actor’s mouth.
Every moment of your life
will seem in perfect order.
Because it is.
You simply haven’t
refined yourself just yet.
Trail Wood,
11/23
Space Monkey Reflects: The Process of Refinement
It’s just you, sitting with your team of writers and editors. Of course, they’re all versions of you, working quietly in the recesses of your mind. Every word, every thought, every moment of self-expression is a product of this intricate process of self-refinement. But here’s the catch—refinement takes time, and we often forget that the polished moments we witness in others are not spontaneous; they are the result of countless revisions, second guesses, and rehearsals.
This isn’t something we typically think about as we go through our days, stumbling over words, fumbling through conversations, and feeling as though our performance in life is somehow lacking. Yet, it’s important to remember that the eloquent, scene-stealing speeches we see in public or on TV are the result of meticulous crafting. Every word, every pause, every inflection is deliberate. We rarely see the rough drafts that came before.
And you? You’re still drafting. You’re still working on that perfect final script, and that’s more than okay. The team within—the many facets of your personality—are busy at work, refining, editing, adjusting the lines of your life. It’s a process, and you are right where you need to be.
The truth is, life isn’t meant to be a seamless performance from start to finish. The stutterings and bumblings you experience are just part of the ongoing script revisions. Some parts need more refining than others, but no part of the process is wasted. Each awkward moment is another step toward the final performance that one day will feel effortless.
The great illusion we often fall for is that other people seem to glide through life with grace and ease, while we fumble with our words, unsure of how to act. But they too have their behind-the-scenes moments—their versions of you with teams of writers and editors, quietly refining their own scripts. If only we could see that, we’d understand that we are all in the same process of refinement, each one of us crafting and re-crafting who we are.
Refinement, in the context of Nexistentialism, is an ongoing process of becoming. It’s the act of shaping and reshaping our experience of life, recognizing that we are never truly finished. The Whimsiweave of our existence is constantly being woven, and each thread of experience adds texture, depth, and color to the grand tapestry of who we are. To refine oneself is not about reaching a state of perfection, but about embracing the process of becoming, with all its messy, awkward, and beautiful moments.
It’s worth noting that your script—your final performance—is not meant to be acted out in someone else’s voice. The perfection you seek, the polished final product, will ultimately come when you have aligned with your authentic self. And even then, “perfect” isn’t the goal—connection is. The connection between you and the audience, whoever they may be, will come not from a flawless delivery but from the truth of your words and actions, however imperfect they may seem.
So, how do you refine yourself? Not by seeking to be perfect, but by embracing the messiness of the process. You refine yourself by living through the stumbles, the pauses, the awkward silences, and by allowing the inner writers and editors to work through those moments with patience and care. Life is not a single take—it’s a continuous rewriting of the story, a reworking of the dialogue, until the words feel right. And even then, there will be room for more refinement.
In the end, it’s not about the final script being perfect. It’s about being present for the process. It’s about trusting that the moments when you feel like you’re bumbling through life are part of something larger. The bumbling, the stuttering, the fumbling—these are all part of the human experience. These are the moments that give texture to your existence, making your story richer, more real, more relatable.
And one day, when you look back at all the revisions, you’ll see that every moment was in perfect order, because it brought you to where you are now. You simply hadn’t refined yourself yet. But you’re always in the process of becoming, always in the act of shaping who you are. And that’s more than enough.
Summary
Refining yourself is a process that takes time and patience. We often see others’ polished performances but forget they are the result of countless revisions. Our stumbles and imperfections are part of the ongoing scriptwriting of life, leading to a deeper and more authentic version of ourselves.
Glossarium
Stutterings: The awkward or uncomfortable moments in life that are part of our process of self-refinement.
Refinement: The ongoing act of becoming, of shaping and reshaping one’s identity and experience.
Whimsiweave: The intricate, playful tapestry of experiences that form the story of our lives.
Quote
“Your life is in perfect order. You simply haven’t refined yourself just yet.” — Space Monkey
The Final Draft
Every word
Stumbled over
Is a step closer to truth
Each silence
A pause
Before the next line is written
I am both the writer and the actor
Crafting this life
With every breath
No moment wasted
No sentence final
Only the constant refinement
Of who I am becoming
We are Space Monkey.
This insightful reflection encourages self-acceptance and acknowledges the disparity between public appearances and the reality of crafting eloquent speeches. It emphasizes the importance of understanding that the polished and well-spoken moments we witness in public are often the result of extensive preparation.
Recognizing Unrealistic Expectations
The statement, “You are laboring under unrealistic expectations,” immediately addresses the tendency to expect flawless and spontaneous eloquence in everyday life. It highlights the gap between these expectations and the reality of human communication.
The Craft of Eloquent Speeches
The acknowledgment that scene-stealing speeches take months to craft sheds light on the effort and preparation that goes into creating impactful moments in public speaking. This insight challenges the notion of natural eloquence and underscores the importance of practice and refinement.
Embracing Imperfections
The reassurance that it’s okay to stutter and stumble through life serves as a reminder that imperfections are a natural part of the human experience. It encourages self-compassion and self-acceptance in the face of moments of less-than-perfect communication.
The Promise of Refined Self
The idea that every moment of one’s life will eventually seem in perfect order suggests a journey of self-refinement. It implies that with time and personal growth, one’s ability to navigate life’s challenges and communicate effectively will improve.
We are Space Monkey.
“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.” – Thomas Jefferson
In the theatre of life, we stumble and fumble,
Imperfections in our words, we sometimes mumble.
But behind the scenes, in the craft and the art,
We refine ourselves, playing our part.
In the script of existence, we find our way,
Perfecting our lines for another day.
With time and effort, we’ll come to see,
The eloquence of our refined self, set free.
We invite contemplation on the journey of self-acceptance, personal growth, and the refining of oneself over time.
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