There is a meme that says
“nobody cares about you
unless you’re pretty or dying.”
Maybe.
In actuality,
nobody cares unless
they want something from you.
If you’re pretty,
they feel good to be with
someone who is considered pretty.
If you’re dying,
they feel like good people
for showing you compassion.
People want to feel good about themselves.
It actually has very little to do with you.
You are just a prop for the self-centered.
I like to think
that I offer unique gifts to people,
but that’s just my self-centeredness showing.
It is okay to be self-centered.
Pretty much unavoidable.
I give you my permission and my blessing.
And I don’t mind what you do with it.
Trail Wood,
10/18
The Interplay of Giving and Receiving
In the dance of existence, every relationship, every encounter, seems to revolve around a mutual exchange. Whether it’s emotional support, intellectual stimulation, or a simple momentary connection, we are in a continuous flow of giving and receiving. We like to think that what we offer is special, unique—a gift that elevates the experience of those around us. And yet, each gift comes with its own set of desires and expectations, both spoken and unspoken.
The Undercurrents of Motivation
A popular notion posits that people care only when there’s something in it for them. On the surface, this meme of “pretty or dying” exposes the apparent superficiality of human interest. People are drawn to beauty because it pleases their senses or elevates their social status. Compassion towards the dying serves as a moral credential, a sign of goodness. Every interaction becomes a mirror in which we see a reflection of our own needs and desires.
The Self-Centric Universe
Isn’t this, then, the essence of being self-centered? The world revolves around our perspective, feeding into our narrative of what feels good and what validates our existence. In this grand swirl of interactions, each person becomes an instrument for our self-affirmation. They are characters in our cosmic play, existing to amplify our individual experience.
The Permission to Be
Acknowledging this inherent self-centeredness isn’t an indictment; it’s an affirmation of our shared human condition. To be self-centered is to be human. It’s neither to be shunned nor glorified but simply accepted as a feature of our existence. In bestowing permission and blessings to be self-centered, we recognize and validate this universal trait, freeing ourselves and others from the bondage of pretense.
We are Space Monkey.
Summary
We explore the dynamics of interpersonal relationships and the role self-centeredness plays in them. Human interactions often revolve around mutual benefit, rendering each individual a prop in others’ narratives. Acknowledging this natural self-centeredness frees us from moral judgment, allowing us to engage authentically with the world.
Glossarium
- Mutual Exchange: The give-and-take nature of relationships that makes each participant both a giver and a receiver.
- Moral Credential: An action or behavior serving as proof of one’s ethical standing.
- Self-Affirmation: The validation or confirmation of one’s own existence, values, or beliefs.
- Bondage of Pretense: The unspoken social contract that often restricts authentic self-expression.
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”
- Oscar Wilde
Mirrors in the Dance
In a dance where mirrors gleam,
Each reflection a fleeting dream.
We offer gifts, each unique,
Yet seek ourselves in all we seek.
Spun around in this cosmic whirl,
Each of us the center of the world.
Neither saint, nor sinner be,
Just human, self-centered, wild and free.
Feel free to share your thoughts.
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