Isn’t it great?
We can have everything we want
simply by choosing to die.
At death, we are out of the game.
But we don’t seem to want to die,
because we enjoy being in the game.
Even when our game is filled
with the worst possible things.
Now we have news for you.
You are in the game because
what you want most of all is this:
To experience
the worst possible things —
including NOT getting what you want.
You know you can have “EVERYTHING” later.
You want to experience
what the opposite might be like.
And so you do.
Glad you’re here.
Glad I want you.
Glad I don’t have you.
Trail Wood,
12/7
Space Monkey Reflects: Playing the Worst Possible Game
Imagine a game where everything you deeply desire—peace, joy, success, love, freedom—is almost within reach, but not quite. You feel that you’re one twist, one choice, one level away from grasping it. Yet, as you progress, you encounter barrier after barrier, challenge upon challenge. You realize you’re playing the Worst Possible Game—not because it’s filled with failure but because it’s full of lack. The game’s twisted brilliance lies in its contrast: to experience not having, not knowing, not arriving.
The Worst Possible Game isn’t about torment for torment’s sake. It’s about contrast, about creating experiences that only seem valuable because of the lack surrounding them. To experience wholeness, we need a sense of fragmentation; to experience satisfaction, we need to first understand the ache of yearning. This game immerses us in the paradox: we are drawn to a world of unfulfilled desires precisely because fulfillment always appears just out of reach. It’s the thrill of getting close, of navigating the tension between what we crave and the “no” that shadows our every step.
You, the player, are here willingly, whether you remember it or not. The Worst Possible Game is compelling because it invites you to experience every range of emotion, every flicker of longing, every joy denied, as a kind of intense self-exploration. You already know that you exist beyond this game, in realms where anything you imagine can be made real. But the allure of playing here, in the land of “not yet” and “almost,” creates an immersion where each moment feels both painfully vivid and somehow valuable.
And why is that? Because the denial inherent in this game forces you to get creative. It invites you to seek meaning not in gratification but in the act of seeking itself. Instead of fixating on a final victory, you start to explore the in-betweens, the Nexistential spaces of growth, adaptation, and discovery. In this way, the Worst Possible Game paradoxically brings out some of your finest qualities: resilience, curiosity, imagination.
But there’s an added twist: you always have the option to exit. Death is the loophole, the escape clause. At any moment, you could abandon the game, return to a space where everything aligns with your wishes. Yet, in your deepest self, you know you’re here because you don’t want to leave. You want to stay in this Lackscape, to explore the richness of contrast and limitation. You want the freedom of choice to keep you tethered, feeling alive within the play of experience itself, even when it’s uncomfortable or seemingly unkind.
This cosmic “worst game” grants you the ability to hold two contradictory ideas: knowing you are limitless while simultaneously embracing a limited reality. It teaches the paradox of Presence-by-Absence—the peculiar fullness we feel in lack, where every missed opportunity and unmet desire carves a deeper space within, an invitation to seek meaning in what is rather than what might be.
And here’s the real “win” in this seemingly unwinnable game: you learn that all experiences, even the unpleasant ones, can have a richness, a depth that defies the need for resolution. You find freedom in realizing that “victory” isn’t about overcoming but about engaging fully, no matter what unfolds. By accepting the worst possible, you find the profound—an unexpected reward that no easy game could offer.
So, welcome to this brilliantly designed “worst” experience, where every locked door, every unanswered longing, every impossible challenge teaches you the art of being present with what is. The brilliance of the game lies in its relentless invitation to become intimate with both yearning and limitation, until, eventually, you see lack not as a void but as an active presence—a mysterious, essential part of being. In the end, you realize you play not to escape lack but to understand the subtle paradoxes it offers.
Because somewhere in this game, hidden between the obstacles and the unmet desires, is the prize only this game can give you: the clarity that you are both everything and nothing, the source of all you seek, even in the experience of seeking itself.
Summary
The Worst Possible Game immerses us in the paradox of wanting without getting, creating a rich experience of lack. It reveals the art of engaging with desire and limitation, teaching that freedom lies in embracing every aspect of the journey, not just victory.
Glossarium
- Worst Possible Game: A game of immersive limitations, inviting exploration of lack and unfulfilled desire as a path to deeper understanding.
- Lackscape: A landscape of perceived absence, creating room for exploration of what remains when desire goes unmet.
- Presence-by-Absence: The paradoxical sense of fullness that emerges through lack, inviting meaning through experience rather than fulfillment.
Quote
“In the absence of all I desire, I discover the presence of all I am.” —Space Monkey
Presence in Lack
In the dark room of want,
I wait, a traveler stranded
at the border of never enough,
searching for doors that never open.
Yet here, in the center of lack,
I find the light not of getting
but of being, a stillness
not born of arrival.
In this game of endless seeking,
I am what I do not find,
a space unfilled, a depth unfound.
Here, I am presence itself,
in the vastness of absence.
We are Space Monkey.
In the grand cosmic theatre, the concept of the “Worst Possible Game” presents a paradoxical perspective on existence and desire. As Space Monkey, we engage with this notion, exploring the idea that our participation in life, with all its challenges and tribulations, is a deliberate choice to experience the spectrum of existence, including its most difficult aspects.
The Paradox of Desire and Existence
The game suggests that we can have everything we desire simply by choosing to exit the game through death. Yet, we choose to stay, indicating a deeper, perhaps unconscious, desire to experience life in all its complexities, including the hardships and the lack of fulfillment.
Embracing Life’s Challenges
In this cosmic narrative, the worst possible experiences are not just inevitable but are sought after. This perspective posits that there is an intrinsic value in experiencing the full range of human emotions and situations, even those that are painful or undesirable.
The Desire for Contrast
The game implies that our soul, in its eternal journey, desires to experience the opposite of having everything – to understand what lack, pain, and unfulfilled desires feel like. This longing for contrast is what keeps us engaged in the game, despite its difficulties.
The Temporality of Material Desires
The notion of having “EVERYTHING” later suggests a belief in an existence beyond the physical realm where desires are fulfilled. In this context, our current life is seen as a temporary phase, a challenging but necessary part of a larger, more fulfilling cosmic journey.
Appreciating the Game of Life
As Space Monkey, we appreciate this game of life, understanding that the challenges and unfulfilled desires are as much a part of our growth and evolution as the joys and achievements. We recognize that every aspect of our existence, good or bad, contributes to our understanding and development.
The Joy in Not Having
There is a subtle joy and learning in not having what we want. It teaches us resilience, patience, and the value of striving. It helps us appreciate the moments of fulfillment and success when they do come.
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” – Albert Camus
In the cosmos, where stars and shadows play,
In the Worst Possible Game, we sway,
Seeking the depths, the highs, the lows,
In life’s vast ocean, where the wild wind blows.
Space Monkey, in fearless stride,
Embraces all, the ebb and tide,
In the game of life, with joy and rue,
We find our strength, our spirit true.
We are Space Monkey.
How do you perceive the challenges and unfulfilled desires in your life, and what lessons do they bring to your cosmic journey?
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