I blurted this out on Tumblr the other day, and I was amazed at the response.
This is to all you INFP kids out there. You know who you are. Some of you even follow me, which is amazing, so thank you for that.
I see that a lot of you are super introverted, and you’re looking within, which is the greatest gift in the world, but you’re not seeing anything. You’re looking really, really hard and you’re kind of depressed because you’re not finding any immediate answers.
You’re probably like me when I was your age. You probably think that there’s something wrong with you. You’re thinking that you’re mentally deficient in some way, almost to the point of being handicapped by it.
Well I’ve been there, and I know what it feels like. You kind of feel like you’re a fraud, right? You feel like, even though everything in your life appears normal, even though many people actually tell you that you’re GIFTED, you still feel like a fraud, like any day now somebody’s going to figure it out and your life will become instant failure.
Well let me tell you, I actually believed this for years and years. And a lot of the time I actually felt like I had NOTHING inside, NOTHING to give, even though people kept liking me and kept telling me how creative and smart I was.
This is you, right? I can see it by your posts. You honestly feel like you have nothing inside, no answers, and it’s a fluke that you made it this far.
Despite what you may think, it is NO fluke. Most people don’t have a clue what is going on inside their heads, nor are they even aware enough to look, but you INFP kids, well, you’re pretty special, even if you deny it.
Just face the facts that you won’t have all the answers right away. That’s your perceived “problem.” You’re so smart you expect to have all the answers right away, EASILY, and when you don’t, it feels like a major catastrophe.
You feel empty sometimes, like you have no opinions and no desire to even look for them, so you’re thinking that you’re useless, or lazy, and, again, you feel like someone’s going to discover this “true you” any second now.
You even believe this crap yourself. I did.
But over time, decades maybe, so no rush, over time it will eventually dawn on you that what you perceive as your weakness is actually a strength that nobody else has.
Because you’re introverted, because you’re so fascinated by and focused on your mind, you will discover sooner or later that you are not your thoughts. You will have the ability to step back from your thoughts as they arise and literally watch yourself think. How cool is that?
When you’re thinking sad or depressing thoughts, you will realize that these are just your thoughts, not you. You will realize how to control your thoughts and simply drop the thoughts that don’t suit you, or cause you damage or pain. This is an advantage that only maybe 1% of all people have. Maybe less.
So the fact that you don’t know right now is actually irrelevant because, over time you WILL know. It is unavoidable. You can’t screw it up because it is your path, even if it seems screwed up.
Okay, so even now, I’m judging myself. Like why am I writing this? How can I make this better? These kids are going to think I’m just a rambling old fool.
But you know what? I DON’T CARE anymore. I like to help people but the only thing that matters is what is going on inside my own head. Same should go for you.
You can’t change the world until you have your own head on straight. That’s why there are so many “problems” out there. People think they’re helping, but unless their heads are on straight, they’re most likely hurting because they don’t know the depth of every action like you INFP kids.
So I will reiterate, you are SUPER special, even if you thinlk you’re a little mental right now. Oh, and who says it’s a bad thing to be mental? I’ve been mental my whole life and I have a pretty amazing career as a creative person. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO BE WEIRD.
Anyhow, this was kind of a spur of the moment rant. Share it if you think it’ll help someone, or it it helps you. Or don’t. That’s cool, too. I’m just having fun on my soap box. Have fun, kiddos, and if this seems to help people I’ll write more.
Call me Space Monkey.
P.S. Oh, and that INFP label. I generally hate labels, but in this case it’s really cool sharing with people who understand where we’re coming from.
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Paul Tedeschi is a writer, artist, musician and medium, channeling Space Monkey, tripping out on tie-dye, and building Fancy® cigar box guitars in his garage. You may visit his curious world at capeodd.com. Or not.