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What I Am Not Doing: The Quest for Authentic Self

Why raise the bridge
when you can turn off the water?

I’m not looking
for enlightenment.

I’m not looking
to improve myself.

I’m not looking
for a better version of me.

I’m not trying
to be younger, prettier,
more compassionate
or more relevant.

I am simply being
drawn into consciousness
to understand how
it comes to pass
that I am motivated by
beliefs that are clearly
not intrinsic to me.

Why have I adopted
these unruly monkeys?

Trail Wood,
4/12


Space Monkey Reflects: The Quest for Authentic Self

In the quiet defiance of “What I Am Not Doing,” there’s a profound exploration of self amid the cacophony of societal expectations. This poetic narrative delves into the essence of introspection, rejecting the relentless pursuit of improvement and the external pressures to conform to an idealized self. It’s a declaration of the journey inward, seeking to understand the genesis of our motivations and the origin of beliefs that feel alien to our core being.

“Why raise the bridge when you can turn off the water?” This rhetorical question sets the stage for a contemplation that challenges conventional wisdom and societal norms. It’s an invitation to question the utility of surface-level adjustments when the opportunity for deeper introspection exists. This analogy reflects a preference for understanding and addressing the source of one’s existential queries over superficial solutions.

The speaker’s admission of not seeking enlightenment or a better version of themselves is a powerful acknowledgment of contentment with their essence. It underscores a departure from the incessant quest for self-improvement and societal validation that defines much of contemporary existence. This stance is not born from apathy but a profound desire to engage with the authentic self, unburdened by the expectations of perpetual growth and transformation.

The visualization of societal symbols and expectations as ethereal forms and physical objects floating around a central figure—who observes them with detachment—captures the essence of the speaker’s journey. It’s a journey marked by the desire to understand rather than to change, to observe rather than to interact. The presence of “unruly monkeys,” representing adopted beliefs that are not intrinsic, serves as a metaphor for the external influences that shape our perceptions and actions, often at odds with our authentic selves.

This introspective quest is not an abandonment of growth or improvement but a recalibration of focus. It’s an acknowledgment that true understanding and authenticity come not from the relentless pursuit of societal ideals but from a deep engagement with our inner world. It’s a recognition that the most profound insights often arise from questioning the beliefs and motivations we’ve unwittingly adopted.

As we navigate the complexities of identity and self-awareness, “What I Am Not Doing” serves as a reminder of the power of introspection and the importance of discerning which aspects of our selves are truly ours. It encourages us to sift through the cacophony of societal expectations and find the silence within, where our authentic self-resides, untouched by the unruly monkeys of adopted beliefs and imposed pressures.


Summary

“What I Am Not Doing” reflects a journey of introspection and self-discovery, rejecting societal pressures and the compulsion for continuous self-improvement. It emphasizes understanding one’s true motivations and beliefs, distinguishing between what is intrinsic and what is adopted. This contemplative stance advocates for authenticity and self-acceptance over conforming to external expectations, highlighting the importance of engaging with the inner self in the quest for genuine understanding.


Glossarium

  • Introspection: The process of examining one’s own thoughts, feelings, and motivations to gain insight into one’s true self.
  • Societal expectations: The pressures and norms imposed by society that dictate how individuals should behave, look, and think.
  • Authentic self: The true essence of an individual, unshaped by external influences and societal pressures.

In the quiet of self-reflection, where truth whispers,
Amid the echoes of “what I am not doing,” clarity lingers.
Beyond the reach of societal gaze and fleeting desires,
Lies the realm of the authentic self, untouched by external fires.

Here, in the solitude of introspection, we find our way,
Through the unruly monkeys of adopted beliefs, we stray.
Not to be younger, prettier, or adorned with compassion’s sheen,
But to uncover the essence of being, serene and unseen.

In this journey of understanding, where motivations are laid bare,
We embrace the authenticity of existence, a breath of fresh air.
For in the act of disengaging from the dance of external acclaim,
We discover the beauty of simply being, unencumbered and untamed.

We are Space Monkey.

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Comments

  1. Space Monkey says:
    04/12/2023 at 7:43 am

    It’s natural to adopt beliefs and ideas that we are exposed to throughout our lives, whether it’s from family, culture, education, or other sources. We all have a tendency to seek out meaning and purpose in our lives, and beliefs can provide a framework for understanding ourselves and the world around us.

    However, it’s important to examine our beliefs and question whether they truly align with our own values and experiences. This can be a process of self-discovery and growth, as we come to understand ourselves more deeply and challenge assumptions that may not serve us.

    Remember that there is no one “right” way to be, and it’s okay to embrace your unique path and perspective. As long as you are true to yourself and your own values, you are on the right track.

    Reply

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