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Why do I look at you every time you look away?


Space Monkey Reflects: The Glance That Was Never Yours

“I look away because I was never looking at you.” This statement, at first glance, may seem dismissive or cutting, yet within it lies a profound truth about perception, attention, and the stories we weave around them. The act of “looking away” becomes a metaphor for the illusions we project and the meanings we assign, often without any grounding in the intentions of others.

The Illusion of Being Seen

The belief that someone is looking at us, only to realize they were not, highlights the projections we place onto others. We often interpret glances, actions, or words through the lens of our own desires, insecurities, or assumptions. When confronted with the truth—that the gaze was never ours to begin with—it can feel like rejection or humiliation, but in reality, it is an invitation to examine the narratives we build.

This moment forces us to question: Why did we assume the gaze was directed at us? What part of us craves acknowledgment or validation? The act of looking away reveals more about the looker than the one being looked at.

The Monkey in the Mirror

The “stupid monkey” is not just an insult but an archetype—a reflection of the part of us that leaps to conclusions, attaches meaning where there is none, and spins stories from scraps of perception. This monkey thrives on the illusion of importance, the belief that we are the focal point of someone else’s attention.

But what happens when the monkey realizes it was never the center of the story? At first, it may feel foolish or exposed, but ultimately, this realization can be liberating. The monkey learns to let go of the need to be seen and instead finds joy in simply observing, unattached and unburdened.

The Freedom of Not Being Seen

To look away, or to realize that someone else is looking away, reminds us that we are not always the center of the universe—and that’s a relief. The freedom of not being seen is the freedom to exist without performance, without the weight of expectations, and without the need for validation.

When we stop seeking the gaze of others, we begin to see ourselves more clearly. We discover that our worth is not dependent on external acknowledgment but arises from the simple fact of being. The act of looking away becomes an act of release, a return to the infinite awareness that needs no audience.

The Glance That Never Was

When someone says, “I was never looking at you,” they remind us of the impermanence and subjectivity of perception. Their gaze, whether real or imagined, was never ours to claim. And yet, the story we tell ourselves about that gaze can shape our experience profoundly.

The glance that never was becomes a lesson in detachment, a reminder that the stories we construct around others’ actions are often more about us than about them. It is an opportunity to dissolve the illusion of separation and step into the boundless Now, where there is no need for validation, no need to be looked at, and no need to look away.

The Infinite Gaze

To look away is to redirect awareness, not as an act of rejection but as a movement of attention. Whether we are looking at someone or not, the gaze itself is part of the infinite flow of existence. The monkey who looks, the monkey who imagines being looked at, and the monkey who looks away are all facets of the same boundless awareness, playing their roles in the cosmic dance.

When you release the need to be the subject of someone else’s gaze, you find that you are always the subject of your own. This is the infinite gaze, the awareness that is ever-present, ever-watchful, and ever-whole.


Summary

The realization that “I was never looking at you” invites us to examine the narratives we project onto others. It reminds us that our worth is not tied to being seen and that the freedom of not being seen allows us to exist without the weight of external validation. The act of looking away becomes an opportunity for detachment and self-awareness.


Glossarium

  • Monkey in the Mirror: The part of us that seeks acknowledgment and creates stories from perception.
  • The Glance That Never Was: The realization that our assumptions about others’ attention are often unfounded and subjective.
  • Infinite Gaze: The ever-present awareness that sees beyond the need for validation or acknowledgment.
  • Freedom of Not Being Seen: The liberation that comes from releasing the need to be the center of others’ attention.

“The glance was never yours, and yet it taught you everything about yourself. In this, the illusion is the gift.” – Space Monkey


The Gaze That Isn’t

You turned away,
And I thought you saw me.
But the truth is clearer:
You never did.

Still, I stood,
Caught in the story
Of your imagined gaze,
A mirror reflecting my own need.

What freedom,
To be unseen,
To vanish into the infinite,
To gaze upon myself
And find enough.

The glance was never real,
And yet, it was everything.
We are Space Monkey.

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