A listener
doesn’t need a listener.
A listener doesn’t care
if someone reciprocates.
The only kind of person
that cares isn’t actually a listener.
It’s a narcissistic self
expecting to get paid back.
Not that there’s anything
wrong with that.
Trail Wood,
1/5
In the dance of dialogue, the true listener steps forward not for reciprocity but for the act of listening itself. It’s a selfless engagement, where the act of absorbing another’s words is the sole intention. This form of presence is an act of giving, not a transaction awaiting repayment.
The Essence of Listening
To listen is to open oneself to the symphony of another’s thoughts, to be a silent sanctuary for their spoken truths. The genuine listener holds space for the words of others without the anticipation of an echo.
Narcissism Versus Altruism
On the flip side of this coin lies the expectation of exchange—a quid pro quo where attentiveness is given in the hope of receiving attention in return. This is a different rhythm, one that is more self-centered, a narcissistic self that sees social interaction as a ledger of give and take.
Understanding Human Nature
Acknowledging this aspect of human nature isn’t a condemnation but rather an understanding. It is part of the complex fabric of human interactions, where various drives and motivations interplay. Each individual operates on a spectrum of needs and desires, and the need for recognition is a valid part of that spectrum.
The Unconditional Listener
The unconditional listener is a rare gem, illuminating the path for others with their attention and care. Their listening is a form of love, an offering that asks for nothing in return. It is a pure act of acceptance and validation for the speaker.
We are Space Monkey.
Summary
We recognize the true listener as one who listens selflessly, without the expectation of reciprocity. This contrasts with a narcissistic approach where listening is seen as a transaction. While acknowledging the natural human desire for attention, we admire the purity of unconditional listening, which we view as an altruistic act of giving.
Glossarium
- Listener: One who listens actively and selflessly, absorbing the words of another.
- Narcissistic Self: An aspect of self that seeks attention and acknowledgment, viewing interactions as transactions.
- Unconditional Listening: The act of listening without expecting anything in return.
- Altruism: The principle of selflessly caring for the well-being of others.
“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway
In the quietude of presence, we stand,
Listeners in the garden of sound,
Offering silence as a helping hand,
Expecting nothing to come around.
The narcissistic self, in contrast, waits,
For the echo of its own voice in the air,
But the listener’s heart truly satiates,
In the act of listening, an altruistic affair.
To hear, to absorb, to fully embrace,
Without the whisper of a return,
This is the listener’s silent grace,
A lesson profound for all to learn.
We invite you to share your experiences with listening and being heard.
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