Every morning,
I find myself
arising without an alarm
seated in my kneeling chair
hands clasped on the table
meditating in front of a candle
just before sunrise.
If I were a religious person,
I would say that I was praying.
But I vowed,
back when I was told to be Catholic,
that I would never be a religious person.
Back then,
the last thing I wanted to be
was a spiritual person.
And yet here I am.
I may call it meditating.
But I am praying.
To me.
I come here on my own.
I am an expression of god.
There need be nothing more to seek.
I AM THE LAST THING I WANT TO BE.
I need be nothing else.
Trail Wood,
2/14
rigid dichotomies of religious dogma and spiritual freedom, illustrating how personal growth often navigates through the landscapes of past vows and present revelations. This evolution is not a betrayal of past selves but a flowering of understanding, a recognition that spirituality transcends the confines of traditional religious structures. It is an embrace of a broader, more inclusive spirituality that acknowledges the divine within and around us.
Meditation as Prayer
In the silent dialogue of meditation, the act of praying to oneself becomes a powerful testament to the belief in the divinity of one’s being. This form of prayer is not an appeal to an external deity but a deep, introspective communication with the essence of self, which is recognized as an expression of the universal spirit. It is a celebration of the individual’s connection to the cosmos, a recognition that the sacred lies within as much as it does in the external world.
The Unity of Self and the Divine
The realization “I am an expression of god” encapsulates the dissolution of the perceived barrier between the self and the divine. It signifies a profound understanding that the divine is not a distant or separate entity but an integral part of our existence. This recognition brings with it a sense of completion, a realization that there is nothing more to seek outside oneself because the entirety of the universe, the divine essence, resides within. It is a declaration of spiritual sovereignty and wholeness.
Embracing the Paradox
Becoming the last thing one wants to be can initially appear as a journey marked by resistance and transformation. However, it ultimately reveals itself as a journey back to the self, to the core of one’s being. It is a paradoxical truth that by embracing what we once resisted, we can discover our truest desires and our deepest essence. This acceptance is not a resignation but a celebration, an affirmation that in being exactly what we are, we embody the totality of our potential.
Summary
The journey from resistance to acceptance, from denial of spirituality to the acknowledgment of one’s divinity, is a profound narrative of self-discovery and transformation. It highlights the fluid nature of identity and belief, illustrating how the very thing we vow never to become can become the source of our deepest fulfillment. In recognizing oneself as an expression of the divine, one finds peace in the realization that being “THE LAST THING I WANT TO BE” is not only an end in itself but also a beginning of a deeper understanding and acceptance of the self and the universe.
Glossarium
- Self-Discovery: The process of gaining insight into one’s character and potential.
- Spiritual Sovereignty: The recognition of one’s inner divinity and autonomy in spiritual matters.
- Paradoxical Truth: A statement that contradicts itself but reveals a deeper truth.
- Fluid Nature of Identity: The concept that personal identity is not fixed but can change over time.
- Divinity of Being: The belief in the inherent sacredness or godliness of the individual.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” – Carl Jung
In the silence before dawn’s gentle light,
Where shadows fade and day meets night,
I found myself in meditation’s sight,
Embracing what I thought was plight.
Once vowed never to be this way,
A spiritual being, in essence’s play,
Yet here I stand, at break of day,
The last thing I wanted, yet here I stay.
Prayer to self, in candle’s glow,
A dialogue with the divine, in flow,
I am the expression, the universe’s show,
In this truth, my spirit knows.
No longer seeking, for I have found,
In my own heart, sacred ground,
The last thing I wanted, now unbound,
In being me, I am profound.
We are Space Monkey.
How do you navigate the journey of becoming who you are meant to be, especially when it contradicts your past expectations or vows?
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