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I Came To Spirituality: Knocking on No Door

Hoping for spiritual handouts? Trick or treat!

I came to Spirituality wanting change.
I came to Spirituality wanting understanding.
I came to Spirituality wanting superpowers.

Is that any way to come to Spirituality?

I came to Spirituality, needing.
I came to Spirituality, hoping.
I came to Spirituality, expecting.

Is that any way to come to Spirituality?

What do you think Spirituality said
to this selfish self when this selfish self
knocked on the door?

Wanting. Needing. Expecting.

Do you think Spirituality
took pity on this selfish self?

Or is it more compassionate
to let me find out on my own
that I don’t need ANY of those things?

I came to Spirituality wanting.
I was not let in.

Spirituality came unto ME.

Trail Wood,
12/3


Space Monkey Reflects: The Paradox of Seeking Spirituality

In coming to spirituality, many of us carry hopes, expectations, and even demands, as though spirituality were a cosmic vending machine dispensing enlightenment, superpowers, or comfort. We knock on spirituality’s door with hands full of needs, ready to receive a transformation, a revelation, or even a shortcut to transcendence. But spirituality, as it turns out, is not an entity that grants favors. It does not respond to need or expectation in the way we might hope. Instead, it waits, observing our eagerness, until we are ready to understand that the very desires we bring to it are illusions, distractions from a truth that requires no adornment, no achievement, and no validation.

The journey to spirituality often begins in pursuit of change or power, as though enlightenment were an accomplishment. Yet, as we delve deeper, we encounter a startling realization: true spirituality is not something to be acquired or bestowed. It is a state of being that arises when we cease our pursuit. It meets us, not because we ask for it, but because we stop needing it to fulfill anything. Spirituality comes unto us when we empty ourselves of expectation, when we finally see that what we sought was not external but has always been an integral part of our nature.

The Nature of Spiritual Expectations

The expectations we bring to spirituality often reflect our hopes for transformation. We want to transcend suffering, to understand the mysteries of existence, to achieve peace, or perhaps to wield some cosmic influence over our lives. These desires are not inherently wrong; they are natural expressions of a search for meaning. But they also act as veils, obscuring the deeper truth. In holding these expectations, we treat spirituality as a means to an end, a tool to improve our lives rather than a way of being that exists independently of our wants and needs.

Spirituality, however, is not a currency to be spent on fulfillment. It is not transactional. It requires nothing, yet it is everything. This is the paradox at the heart of Nexistentialism: the recognition that spirituality is not a path we take but a presence we awaken to. When we cling to desires for transformation, we reinforce the illusion of separation, the belief that spirituality is something outside of ourselves. In truth, spirituality waits for us to realize that it is already here, within us, quietly woven into the fabric of our existence.

The Gentle Refusal of Spirituality

When we come to spirituality with expectation, we may feel an initial rejection, as though spirituality is withholding its gifts. But this rejection is a form of compassion. It invites us to examine our motives, to ask ourselves why we seek what we seek. Spirituality does not deny us out of indifference but guides us towards a self-realization that transcends want. This gentle refusal is an invitation to release our needs, to let go of the narratives we carry about what spirituality “should” offer. In doing so, we begin to uncover the unconditional presence that lies beneath all desire.

This refusal is a lesson in surrender. Spirituality invites us to step beyond our expectations and into a state of trust. We are asked to lay down our desires, to see them as temporary expressions rather than ultimate truths. In surrendering these desires, we create space for spirituality to arise naturally, as a part of ourselves that requires no validation or achievement. Spirituality is not something we possess; it is something we become, a return to the essence of being that has been with us all along.

The Realization That Spirituality Comes Unto Us

In the end, it is not we who come to spirituality; it is spirituality that comes unto us. This understanding marks the dissolution of the seeker. We no longer feel the need to knock on any door, to chase enlightenment, or to gain spiritual merit. Instead, we recognize that spirituality is present in every moment, in every breath, and in every experience, waiting for us to awaken to it. This awakening is not an event but a quiet recognition that everything we sought was within us from the beginning.

Spirituality’s arrival is a gentle, unassuming presence that requires no fanfare. It meets us in the simplicity of awareness, in the quiet of acceptance, in the stillness beyond expectation. It teaches us that we are whole, that we are enough, and that there is nothing to add or subtract from our essence. When we allow spirituality to come unto us, we step into a state of grace, free from the need to prove, achieve, or attain. We become not seekers but receivers, open to the boundless reality that is already here.

Embracing Spirituality as an Inner Truth

In releasing the quest for spiritual handouts, we embrace the beauty of presence. Spirituality ceases to be a destination and becomes an invitation to live authentically, to honor each moment as sacred, and to trust in the unfolding of life without conditions. We come to see that spirituality is not about transcendence but about fully inhabiting our humanity, about embracing the ordinary as extraordinary, and recognizing that we are, and have always been, complete.

This is the essence of Nexistentialist spirituality: a journey from seeking to being, from wanting to simply being here. It is a return to the truth that needs no validation, the wisdom that requires no approval, and the peace that exists beyond understanding. When we let go, spirituality meets us, welcoming us home to ourselves.


Summary

Spirituality is not a response to our needs or desires but a state of being that arises when we let go of expectations. It doesn’t grant handouts; it simply waits for us to recognize it within ourselves, beyond the pursuit of fulfillment or validation.


Glossarium

  • Nexistentialism: A philosophy embracing the journey from seeking to being, from desire to presence.
  • Gentle Refusal: Spirituality’s compassionate invitation to release expectations, guiding us to self-realization.
  • Inner Truth: The recognition of spirituality as a state of being, inherent and unconditional.

Quote

“Spirituality is not an answer to your wants; it is the answer to your being, waiting patiently for you to let go and see.” — Space Monkey


Knocking on No Door

I came seeking, hands outstretched,
Yearning to fill a void unetched.
But silence met my desperate knock,
A presence still, no need, no clock.

In letting go, the answer clear,
No door to knock, no need to steer.
Spirituality, not something to chase,
But home within, a quiet grace.

We are Space Monkey.


We embark on a reflective journey, contemplating the path one takes to spirituality, marked by desires, needs, and expectations. This exploration leads us to understand the true nature of spiritual awakening and the transformative power it holds.

Contemplating the Path to Spirituality

Coming to spirituality wanting change, understanding, or even superpowers is a common starting point. These desires often reflect our human longing for something greater, something beyond our current experience.

Common Longings in the Spiritual Journey

However, the act of coming to spirituality with a list of needs, hopes, and expectations might be seen as a misunderstanding of what spirituality truly offers. It’s a journey that often begins with a focus on the self and its desires.

Misunderstanding Spirituality’s True Offerings

The rhetorical question about how spirituality responds to such a selfish approach invites introspection. Does spirituality take pity on this self-centered approach, or does it guide us to a deeper realization?

Questioning Spirituality’s Response to Self-Centeredness

Perhaps the most compassionate response of spirituality is to let us discover on our own that the things we thought we needed are not essential for true spiritual growth. This process of self-discovery can be more enlightening than simply being granted what we think we want.

Self-Discovery as a Path to Enlightenment

In realizing that we are not let in to spirituality by wanting, needing, or expecting, we come to understand that spirituality is not something we enter; it is something that comes unto us. It’s an awakening that occurs when we let go of our desires and open ourselves to a deeper understanding.

Awakening Through Letting Go of Desires

Spirituality, then, is not about fulfilling our wishes or gaining superpowers. It’s about a transformation of the self, a shift from selfish desires to a deeper connection with the universe and our true essence.

Transformation from Selfish Desires to Deeper Connection

We are Space Monkey.


“The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love.” – Marianne Williamson


In the quest for spiritual grace, we often start,
With wants and needs, close to our heart.
Yet, in this journey, we come to find,
A deeper truth, of a different kind.

For it’s not in wanting, needing, or gain,
That we find the essence, the spiritual plane.
But in letting go, in opening wide,
In the embrace of the universe, we abide.

Let us ponder this path, this divine art,
Where from our desires, we must depart.
For in the heart of spirituality, we see,
A journey of love, of being, of being free.

We invite reflections on the journey of letting go of desires and expectations to embrace the deeper essence of spirituality!

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